The Prince and The Knight
He gave a small smile as he look at his fingers. Between his longest and shortest is his finger crowned by a beautiful diamond ring. It was his dream to get married with him. It was their dream to build a family. Heechul knew that it was his fault that it’s never going to happen now.
Heechul glance at Hangeng who is sleeping quietly at their bed. It’s his future now - to be with the one he chose. He loves this man. Geng gave him a new life and had taught him to be a better person. While everyone was having difficulties getting close with him, Geng showed him how beautiful it was to open up with his friends even though he thinks of them only as dongsengs. Geng also taught him how to apologize. It was hard for him to say the word but the real challenge for him though was to say it with feelings. He’s not that type of guy but Geng made him. And without any grudges, he followed. He followed Hang Geng in everything until he had learned to truly open his heart. With honesty and love, HeeChul found his prince. And his prince had found him.
But long before the prince, there was his Knight. He was not his first love but he was the one who had thought him how to love. When everyone else was making it hard for him, it was that person who protected him. He had treated him like a princess. There were days that he couldn’t even breath because of embarrassment but that person had gave him a reason to move on. “Find the way, Chul. Find the way to love.” That’s what Jay had thought him. And for that reason, he gave his heart to Jay until the day Jay decided to leave for Japan.
Hee Chul still remembers the time Jay was packing his clothes. He can still remember Jay’s voice as he asks him to wait for him. Hee Chul can feel Hay's arms embracing him tightly whispering that he’ll miss him forever to his ear. But those days passed like autumn to spring, and he had been calling Jay for numerous times and had not been receiving any call back. He decided then to take a 3 day off from his busy schedule to visit Japan to see him but what welcomed him was the TRAX manager, screaming fans and a busy schedule. He wasn’t able to meet Jay. Not even once.
So Heechul decided to wait for 2 more years, and then maybe Jay will have the time to call him even just to say Hi. He was not expecting “I miss you” and “I love you” anymore. He was hoping that Jay would remember a friend he left in Korea.
5 years had passed and there were no words from Jay. Heechul grew impatient and decided not to wait anymore. It was not an act of anger, he felt that he was just merely falling out of love. And between those times of confusion of whether he should continue to wait for Jay or move on, Geng had kissed him and confessed his feelings for him.
He did not answer Geng at once. Geng was a good friend of his and he did not want to hurt him so he told him to wait until he was able to withdraw Jay from his heart. And he never expected that his withdrawal would be the likes of those who are alcoholic and chain smokers. Jay was like a drug that had intoxicated him completely.
But Heechul had found out a perfect solution to his misery and that is to completely forget. And that’s what he did. He did not dare to look back. He decided to move on with HanGeng and create a brand new fairy tale with him.
Heechul glance back at the setting sun. He lean his body against the wall as he crosses his arms to heat himself up from the cold breeze.
Is sunset the end of the day or merely the start of the day? He thought.
Heechul gave a sad smile as he reminisce the time where Geng had to go back to China to take over their family business and Mithra had decided to forcedly take him to the beach. Since there was no one able to help him out trick Mithra, he had no choice but to be pulled by his happy-go-lucky friend. The sun is setting also that day, and it shine it’s orange pink light to the sea creating a shimmering scene. The moment he landed his feet to the soft sand, he saw a figure walking towards him with a grin in his face. He haven’t seen him for 6 years and seeing him again gives Heechul shiver. He was still as gorgeous as before. He had cut his hair short and dyed it black. He had grown muscles too. His shirt was fit enough to reveal his lean body. It was like seeing a whole new Jay but for Heechul it was like seeing a lover and a stranger at the same time. He tried to look the other way and pretends not to see him but Jay ignore his cold shoulders and wrapped his arms around him. Heechul could feel his heart giving away. He was angry at him yet he could feel his emotions overflowing with love and happiness. He stood there and firmed his hands at his side, so he won’t be able to hug Jay back. Jay pulled back and holds Heechul’s face with both of his hands. With a smile he whispered, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you”. Heechul had decided not to give in but when Jay looked at him with sincerity and hope, he felt his eyes gave away as he can feel hot tears flows.
Even though Jay was asking for another chance and had told him his side of story, Heechul couldn’t and wouldn’t leave HanGeng that easily. He had both love them and he can’t just break one’s heart because of his selfishness. Jay leaned his face and gave him a kiss in his temples. Slowly, Heechul looks at Jay, and smiled at him. “Jay, I’m with HanGeng now... you were too late...”
There were bitteness on Jay’s eyes. After working hard for the company, he was given a week off to Korea so he ran off to see Heechul. There was so much to tell, so much to say. But in the end - he was too late. Heechul hugged him again and place a diamond necklace at his right hand. It was Jay's gift to him at their graduation. It was more than a gift for Jay, it was a promise.
A week later, Hangeng had returned home from China with the other Super Junior members. He found Heechul browsing a wedding magazine. Heechul had been goosing him about how his fingers would look pretty with an engagement ring and how it would be nice to have Shiwon acting as their priest in their wedding. Those were just side remarks but HanGeng knew that Heechul had wanted to get married with him. He had bought the ring already; he was just waiting for the right time to pop the question. And he guessed that this was the right time.
Heechul, though shock, felt the need to be honest. He looked at Hangeng who’s on his knees with bitter happiness. “I wanted to get married with you and I’ve been waiting for this for a long time- I- I saw Jay -“
Geng looked at him confusedly, “why? What is this got to do with Jay?”
“I am cheating on you.”
Geng looked at Heechul, his heart torning apart. He could feel the pain crawl in his chest and he has to breathe deeply in order to go on. He turn his head away from Heechul and clutch his knuckles hard. “Get Out! I don’t want to see you anymore!”
*
Heechul walk back to the room, quietly sliding the glass door of their veranda, and gently sit at their king’s size bed. Geng moved a little but Heechul figured that his lover was too tired to wake up. He turned on the bed-side lamp and laid his head near Geng’s as he faced the ceiling.
*
There was a time that he was with Jay and there was a time he was with Geng. It was okay for Jay for Heechul to have a relationship with Geng while seeing him at the same time but the other did not like that idea. Han Geng wants Heechul for himself only. He loved Heechul with one heart and expects that Heechul should do also. But Heechul who had love two persons whole heartedly and had gave his everything to them has difficulties choosing who. He had hoped that he has two hearts to spare because he knew sooner or later, he could only have one.
Geng had forgiven him from cheating and decided to take him back. Jay went back to Japan and with a sad smile he thanked Heechul for opening up his heart again to him. But it wasn’t long enough when Hangeng had heard that Jay was taken to the Hospital for OD. Geng told Heechul to go and visit Jay for he needs him at this time. But Geng knew deep inside that once he let Heechul go, he may never come back.
And he never did.
Hangeng understand the fact that before he came, there was Jay and that Heechul was really Jays. He did not want to betray his friend, but he left for 6 years without communication, and he felt that he could not hide his feelings for Heechul any longer. But Jay is back and he can’t compete with him. He’s nice, cool and loving. Jay's only mistake was having a contract deal in Japan. His fame had hindered for him to see Heechul and his management had worked their bands to be busy every single day. Jay’s email was never sent, his calls were never forwarded, and his letters were never delivered. It wasn’t his fault. It was his management. Hangeng had to endure the fact that Jay was the knight of Heechul - The Lancelot of his life. And even he’s the prince; he knew the sad fact that in the story of King Arthur, his wife Queen Guinevere ran away with his knight Lancelot. And sometimes, he had hoped that fairytales had stayed fluffy like those in Disney and not the twisted truth of the hard bound fairytale novels written by the original authors.
*
Heechul moved his body to face Geng and gently kiss his lover’s forehead. Heechul did not expect that Hangeng would meet up with him after a few years of avoidance. He had matured. His handsome face reveals a darker side. It was even daring for Geng to ask Heechul to marry him that day. And with a surprised face, Heechul agreed.
Hangeng did not ask the reason why. He already knew. Jay is a lock door and Heechul wasn’t able to enter. Hangeng knew that even though Heechul love Jay, there are still secrets that Jay couldn’t say to Heechul. Hangeng knew some of it for he was an old friend of them. Though he did not study in the same royal school, he knew how secrets spread in the academy. Though Heechul had no idea what it was, he has a powerful gut feeling that someone is hiding something from him. And everyone knew how Heechul was when it comes to those things. And since Heechul loved the two of them, his time with the knight had come to an end... and the prince had come back to claim him again.
Heechul smiled as Geng gave a soft snore. They’ve been married for a year now. He looked back at the veranda where the night sky had already covered the velvet light. Though Heechul had loved fairytales since he was young, he was still oriented to the fact that reality is bitter. He can still feel his heart divided in two. The other is for the man in his arms and the other is to the man who went to his wedding with despair and anguish.
He didn’t mean to play around, and he didn’t mean to love both of them. But it’s men’s nature to claim their property and marked it down. Heechul is not man enough to do so. So the two men in his life worked their way to claim him. And he has to admit that if he had two hearts, he would give it the two of them whole heartedly.
Heechul had lived his life calling himself Cinderella, and assigning Disney names to his dongsengs in Super Junior but his own fairytale had blossomed with anguish and love as the prince and knight fight for his honour, making it a painful story of love.
But he still has a lot of blank pages on his book... And anything can happen since reality is really unpredictable. So Heechul is still hoping that his heart would make a firm decision soon. Cause a heart won’t work if it’s left and right are beating for two people.
Heechul’s thoughts were distracted when his phone vibrated. Leaning over to see the message on his phone, he took a last glance at his husband.
On the message screen:
“It’s been a long time, huh? How have you been? - I really want to see you.”
"If I would choose, I'd choose no one or maybe myself, maybe my best friend
but none of them.
Why?
Love is complicated, brutal and unexpected.
I just love and I don't need anyone telling me who to love and who not to love
I just love.
Is that complicated enough?
I Love him because he's different.
He's a big part of me.
He protected me. Cared for me. Loved me.
He's my Knight in Shining Armor.
I love him because he's a man whom I truly learned to love.
He deliberately wrote his story in my life.
He filled up my empty spaces.
He's my Prince Charming.
The Prince and the Knight
~
Heechul glance at Hangeng who is sleeping quietly at their bed. It’s his future now - to be with the one he chose. He loves this man. Geng gave him a new life and had taught him to be a better person. While everyone was having difficulties getting close with him, Geng showed him how beautiful it was to open up with his friends even though he thinks of them only as dongsengs. Geng also taught him how to apologize. It was hard for him to say the word but the real challenge for him though was to say it with feelings. He’s not that type of guy but Geng made him. And without any grudges, he followed. He followed Hang Geng in everything until he had learned to truly open his heart. With honesty and love, HeeChul found his prince. And his prince had found him.
But long before the prince, there was his Knight. He was not his first love but he was the one who had thought him how to love. When everyone else was making it hard for him, it was that person who protected him. He had treated him like a princess. There were days that he couldn’t even breath because of embarrassment but that person had gave him a reason to move on. “Find the way, Chul. Find the way to love.” That’s what Jay had thought him. And for that reason, he gave his heart to Jay until the day Jay decided to leave for Japan.
Hee Chul still remembers the time Jay was packing his clothes. He can still remember Jay’s voice as he asks him to wait for him. Hee Chul can feel Hay's arms embracing him tightly whispering that he’ll miss him forever to his ear. But those days passed like autumn to spring, and he had been calling Jay for numerous times and had not been receiving any call back. He decided then to take a 3 day off from his busy schedule to visit Japan to see him but what welcomed him was the TRAX manager, screaming fans and a busy schedule. He wasn’t able to meet Jay. Not even once.
So Heechul decided to wait for 2 more years, and then maybe Jay will have the time to call him even just to say Hi. He was not expecting “I miss you” and “I love you” anymore. He was hoping that Jay would remember a friend he left in Korea.
5 years had passed and there were no words from Jay. Heechul grew impatient and decided not to wait anymore. It was not an act of anger, he felt that he was just merely falling out of love. And between those times of confusion of whether he should continue to wait for Jay or move on, Geng had kissed him and confessed his feelings for him.
He did not answer Geng at once. Geng was a good friend of his and he did not want to hurt him so he told him to wait until he was able to withdraw Jay from his heart. And he never expected that his withdrawal would be the likes of those who are alcoholic and chain smokers. Jay was like a drug that had intoxicated him completely.
But Heechul had found out a perfect solution to his misery and that is to completely forget. And that’s what he did. He did not dare to look back. He decided to move on with HanGeng and create a brand new fairy tale with him.
Heechul glance back at the setting sun. He lean his body against the wall as he crosses his arms to heat himself up from the cold breeze.
Is sunset the end of the day or merely the start of the day? He thought.
Heechul gave a sad smile as he reminisce the time where Geng had to go back to China to take over their family business and Mithra had decided to forcedly take him to the beach. Since there was no one able to help him out trick Mithra, he had no choice but to be pulled by his happy-go-lucky friend. The sun is setting also that day, and it shine it’s orange pink light to the sea creating a shimmering scene. The moment he landed his feet to the soft sand, he saw a figure walking towards him with a grin in his face. He haven’t seen him for 6 years and seeing him again gives Heechul shiver. He was still as gorgeous as before. He had cut his hair short and dyed it black. He had grown muscles too. His shirt was fit enough to reveal his lean body. It was like seeing a whole new Jay but for Heechul it was like seeing a lover and a stranger at the same time. He tried to look the other way and pretends not to see him but Jay ignore his cold shoulders and wrapped his arms around him. Heechul could feel his heart giving away. He was angry at him yet he could feel his emotions overflowing with love and happiness. He stood there and firmed his hands at his side, so he won’t be able to hug Jay back. Jay pulled back and holds Heechul’s face with both of his hands. With a smile he whispered, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you”. Heechul had decided not to give in but when Jay looked at him with sincerity and hope, he felt his eyes gave away as he can feel hot tears flows.
Even though Jay was asking for another chance and had told him his side of story, Heechul couldn’t and wouldn’t leave HanGeng that easily. He had both love them and he can’t just break one’s heart because of his selfishness. Jay leaned his face and gave him a kiss in his temples. Slowly, Heechul looks at Jay, and smiled at him. “Jay, I’m with HanGeng now... you were too late...”
There were bitteness on Jay’s eyes. After working hard for the company, he was given a week off to Korea so he ran off to see Heechul. There was so much to tell, so much to say. But in the end - he was too late. Heechul hugged him again and place a diamond necklace at his right hand. It was Jay's gift to him at their graduation. It was more than a gift for Jay, it was a promise.
A week later, Hangeng had returned home from China with the other Super Junior members. He found Heechul browsing a wedding magazine. Heechul had been goosing him about how his fingers would look pretty with an engagement ring and how it would be nice to have Shiwon acting as their priest in their wedding. Those were just side remarks but HanGeng knew that Heechul had wanted to get married with him. He had bought the ring already; he was just waiting for the right time to pop the question. And he guessed that this was the right time.
Heechul, though shock, felt the need to be honest. He looked at Hangeng who’s on his knees with bitter happiness. “I wanted to get married with you and I’ve been waiting for this for a long time- I- I saw Jay -“
Geng looked at him confusedly, “why? What is this got to do with Jay?”
“I am cheating on you.”
Geng looked at Heechul, his heart torning apart. He could feel the pain crawl in his chest and he has to breathe deeply in order to go on. He turn his head away from Heechul and clutch his knuckles hard. “Get Out! I don’t want to see you anymore!”
*
Heechul walk back to the room, quietly sliding the glass door of their veranda, and gently sit at their king’s size bed. Geng moved a little but Heechul figured that his lover was too tired to wake up. He turned on the bed-side lamp and laid his head near Geng’s as he faced the ceiling.
*
There was a time that he was with Jay and there was a time he was with Geng. It was okay for Jay for Heechul to have a relationship with Geng while seeing him at the same time but the other did not like that idea. Han Geng wants Heechul for himself only. He loved Heechul with one heart and expects that Heechul should do also. But Heechul who had love two persons whole heartedly and had gave his everything to them has difficulties choosing who. He had hoped that he has two hearts to spare because he knew sooner or later, he could only have one.
Geng had forgiven him from cheating and decided to take him back. Jay went back to Japan and with a sad smile he thanked Heechul for opening up his heart again to him. But it wasn’t long enough when Hangeng had heard that Jay was taken to the Hospital for OD. Geng told Heechul to go and visit Jay for he needs him at this time. But Geng knew deep inside that once he let Heechul go, he may never come back.
And he never did.
Hangeng understand the fact that before he came, there was Jay and that Heechul was really Jays. He did not want to betray his friend, but he left for 6 years without communication, and he felt that he could not hide his feelings for Heechul any longer. But Jay is back and he can’t compete with him. He’s nice, cool and loving. Jay's only mistake was having a contract deal in Japan. His fame had hindered for him to see Heechul and his management had worked their bands to be busy every single day. Jay’s email was never sent, his calls were never forwarded, and his letters were never delivered. It wasn’t his fault. It was his management. Hangeng had to endure the fact that Jay was the knight of Heechul - The Lancelot of his life. And even he’s the prince; he knew the sad fact that in the story of King Arthur, his wife Queen Guinevere ran away with his knight Lancelot. And sometimes, he had hoped that fairytales had stayed fluffy like those in Disney and not the twisted truth of the hard bound fairytale novels written by the original authors.
*
Heechul moved his body to face Geng and gently kiss his lover’s forehead. Heechul did not expect that Hangeng would meet up with him after a few years of avoidance. He had matured. His handsome face reveals a darker side. It was even daring for Geng to ask Heechul to marry him that day. And with a surprised face, Heechul agreed.
Hangeng did not ask the reason why. He already knew. Jay is a lock door and Heechul wasn’t able to enter. Hangeng knew that even though Heechul love Jay, there are still secrets that Jay couldn’t say to Heechul. Hangeng knew some of it for he was an old friend of them. Though he did not study in the same royal school, he knew how secrets spread in the academy. Though Heechul had no idea what it was, he has a powerful gut feeling that someone is hiding something from him. And everyone knew how Heechul was when it comes to those things. And since Heechul loved the two of them, his time with the knight had come to an end... and the prince had come back to claim him again.
Heechul smiled as Geng gave a soft snore. They’ve been married for a year now. He looked back at the veranda where the night sky had already covered the velvet light. Though Heechul had loved fairytales since he was young, he was still oriented to the fact that reality is bitter. He can still feel his heart divided in two. The other is for the man in his arms and the other is to the man who went to his wedding with despair and anguish.
He didn’t mean to play around, and he didn’t mean to love both of them. But it’s men’s nature to claim their property and marked it down. Heechul is not man enough to do so. So the two men in his life worked their way to claim him. And he has to admit that if he had two hearts, he would give it the two of them whole heartedly.
Heechul had lived his life calling himself Cinderella, and assigning Disney names to his dongsengs in Super Junior but his own fairytale had blossomed with anguish and love as the prince and knight fight for his honour, making it a painful story of love.
But he still has a lot of blank pages on his book... And anything can happen since reality is really unpredictable. So Heechul is still hoping that his heart would make a firm decision soon. Cause a heart won’t work if it’s left and right are beating for two people.
Heechul’s thoughts were distracted when his phone vibrated. Leaning over to see the message on his phone, he took a last glance at his husband.
On the message screen:
“It’s been a long time, huh? How have you been? - I really want to see you.”
"If I would choose, I'd choose no one or maybe myself, maybe my best friend
but none of them.
Why?
Love is complicated, brutal and unexpected.
I just love and I don't need anyone telling me who to love and who not to love
I just love.
Is that complicated enough?
I Love him because he's different.
He's a big part of me.
He protected me. Cared for me. Loved me.
He's my Knight in Shining Armor.
I love him because he's a man whom I truly learned to love.
He deliberately wrote his story in my life.
He filled up my empty spaces.
He's my Prince Charming.
The Prince and the Knight
~