Heroic Act #1
[Megamind runs to stand in -- well, what he's cobbled together in his brief time here, which has been very brief, so that stage? Not exactly good. Minion also wasn't here to help, and-- frankly, he's not really good at setting things up on his own. He needs an adult-- fish. An adult fish. That's what he needs. And maybe less tatty drapes rigged behind him.]
YES, STRANGE PLANET, it is I! MEGAMIND! FORMERLY MASTER OF ALL VILLAINY AND NOW REFORMED DEFENDER OF METROSITY! I am here to HELP YOU! YES! YOU! I TOTALLY WILL!
[He is now pointing one gloved finger at the screen. YOU, RANDOM CITIZEN. He is here to help... you. Don't resist. You know you need it.]
I... just need to prepare! BUT SOON I'LL MAKE SURE THIS PLANET IS AS WELL PROTECTED AS METROSITY! Because... apparently I can't go home.
[He dims a little; he was-- going to make everything right! Win back Roxanne! Not set fires when he was bored! He was going to do great things! But then-- then! YES! He must remember: he can be THAT GUY here, too. Even if he doesn't think she will be here to appreciate it. Oh, sadness and woe.]
[Getting a grip, he puts his fists to his hips, and nods once. Resolve! HE must have it!]
Yes. So! I'll be-- busy. Soon. I hope. Now! Go about your daily lives, citizens! Know that Megamind PROTECTS YOU and you can sleep easier under the NIGHTLIGHT OF JUSTICE.
[He pauses. He waits.]
Is it off? Man, where is the remote for this thing? Does nobody make remotes on this planet? Get with the program, people! A man's best friend is his remote... after his Minion. And his dehyrdration gun. And his death ray. Oh, let's not forget the flamethrower. We do love our flame throwers...
[There's one hand over the recorder, and then it cuts off as Megamind continues to list all the things that could, in fact, be man's best friend.]
YES, STRANGE PLANET, it is I! MEGAMIND! FORMERLY MASTER OF ALL VILLAINY AND NOW REFORMED DEFENDER OF METROSITY! I am here to HELP YOU! YES! YOU! I TOTALLY WILL!
[He is now pointing one gloved finger at the screen. YOU, RANDOM CITIZEN. He is here to help... you. Don't resist. You know you need it.]
I... just need to prepare! BUT SOON I'LL MAKE SURE THIS PLANET IS AS WELL PROTECTED AS METROSITY! Because... apparently I can't go home.
[He dims a little; he was-- going to make everything right! Win back Roxanne! Not set fires when he was bored! He was going to do great things! But then-- then! YES! He must remember: he can be THAT GUY here, too. Even if he doesn't think she will be here to appreciate it. Oh, sadness and woe.]
[Getting a grip, he puts his fists to his hips, and nods once. Resolve! HE must have it!]
Yes. So! I'll be-- busy. Soon. I hope. Now! Go about your daily lives, citizens! Know that Megamind PROTECTS YOU and you can sleep easier under the NIGHTLIGHT OF JUSTICE.
[He pauses. He waits.]
Is it off? Man, where is the remote for this thing? Does nobody make remotes on this planet? Get with the program, people! A man's best friend is his remote... after his Minion. And his dehyrdration gun. And his death ray. Oh, let's not forget the flamethrower. We do love our flame throwers...
[There's one hand over the recorder, and then it cuts off as Megamind continues to list all the things that could, in fact, be man's best friend.]