Comments | axfirexinsidex3: If this is what I want, then why does it hurt so much?

axfirexinsidex3

If this is what I want, then why does it hurt so much?

Sep 16, 2004 14:27

Everyone comes to a point in their lives when they have to make an important decision. What feels best may not be the best outcome in the end.... despite that I feel so empty and alone, I know that I did the right thing, and that you will thank me for it. There's noone on this earth that can compare to you, noone can make me laugh as much as you do ( Read more... )

Comments 4

matchesnmethane September 16 2004, 20:06:27 UTC

gee wiz laura i didnt know u felt that way about me. im touched

anonymous September 16 2004, 23:14:28 UTC

it has been two days since this has happened, and after hours of pending and being incapacitated, it has given me the chance to recollect the thoughts that i need to get out. really in all honesty, this seems to have a good intention to become something that we can both benefit from later.i completely and entirely respect your decision making despite the pain that has been inflicted. the emotional hurt, that still lingers around like a haunting, has stricken me since. nevertheless- these two days have allowed me to clear what i need to clear and set a better footing for my future. one day, i can be able to share my story to tell with you, and we can work. i hope for the best, and wallow in the worse. as the days go by i must admit its not easy seeing everything that reminds me of you. its not easy looking at your picture and think i can relieve my pain by having you come through it, or me to pick you up at your house...but its not that easy. i know youre doing this b/c i know that you have a score to keep; your dreams ahead of you are ( ... )

axfirexinsidex3 September 17 2004, 00:28:18 UTC

Thank you, for understanding me above all of the pain. I feel pain too, but I know that it is the best for us. It hurts... that you're not my pookie anymore... but I know that you deserve better than me... you've had better and you will get better. A girl who cares, who can be for you 24/7, a girl who you look at and see complete beauty. A girl who you can actually be proud of to say that she's your girlfriend. Some one who can spend the time that you that you deserve....I have gotten shit on and I will get shit on again because that is what i deserve... because I am shit.... never have been anything, always have let people down, as as this example i've let you down. I'm sorry... I didnt mean to hurt you baby, but I was selfish enough to put my feelings first. I just cant sit here and pretend that everything's okay when its not. If you havent noticed I'm extemeley fucked up in the head...... my mom is, her mother was and even her mother was. Its just this genetic trait that keeps going, and i dont want to hurt you any longer by this ( ... )

sjerzygrl September 18 2004, 01:18:33 UTC

Laura - it's understandable where you're coming from. You're in a new enviornment and at a turning point in ur life. Of course you're gonna want time to figure urself out, that's part of the college experience is figuring out your place in life. But please don't refer to yourself as a peice of shit. Cause I know your not, you know your not and I couldn't imagine anyone that might. And don't let what you and Alex have left slip away - I KNOW you and Alex can overcome this and if not together in the end then atleast remain AMAZING friends!