I'll Stab You One Time
You're like school on Sunday
You ain't got no class
Keep running your mouth and
I just might kick your ass
With the skyline just the faintest hints at lightening to the impending rise of the sun… I know that I've a lot to get off of my chest. Though it is not something that happens, I know that I'm actually going to take advantage of this opportunity, just as Amanda has done. So, I'm not going to hold back. And here it all is. Offensive or not, I no longer care to spare anyone's feelings but my own. Inevitably, I would rather hurt someone else then continue to hurt myself.
Mary,
Your actions as of late have been, in my eyes (and I'm sure in the eyes of others), not only ridiculous but childish, uncalled for, and unforgivable. The only way I can figure it is that despite your age, you have yet to figure out exactly how it is the world works. One can only stay naïve for so long before they're finally bitten in the ass and given a rude awakening. I'm sorry to say, but this is yours. And the fact of the matter is this is not something you can fake to be okay. This is something that you're going to have to deal with, just as you're going to have to deal with other situations (many probably being the exact same as this should you not learn quickly) in the future, both near and far. So sit back. You're probably going to need to.
There is a scientific law that describes this. ``For every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. `` Your conniving ways to upset the lives of others… to stir up unnecessary drama… has given way to people being upset with other people, misinformed, blatantly lied to, confused, stressed and all of this wrongfully so. So here's the reaction to all the shit, and it's been long coming. Not once can I think for all the shit that you have said about everyone, to everyone, has there ever been a root reason that was in the slightest bit legitimate. No such syllable to give even the vaguest hintings of truth to the words that you spoke. Not a single one. What it comes down to is the vast majority of everything that leaves your lips and falls upon the ears of others is a lie. A fabrication of truth that fits your wants in one way or another. These things that you have said have set off a chain reaction, one that (sadly for yourself, I'm sure) ultimately did not produce any sort of permanent upset in chemistry between peoples. Amanda is going to be one of my best friends no matter what. Amanda and Adam are going to be friends. Things that you said, and do continue to say, may lead to little riffs, but they are easily repaired as anyone can see they were caused by you and no one else.
Why it is you feel the need to revert to talking behind people's backs and then playing Miss Sweet And Innocent to their faces, I will never understand. Should someone have a problem with someone else, it really is not only the smart, but the adult thing to do to face these problems. However, you seem to excel in creating problems and then backing yourself out into a quite convenient niche so you can proceed to watch what it is that occurs after the fact. Well sweetheart, let me tell you, that hidey-hole has been blown from the wall. So climb the fuck out and stop being a mouse.
I have no respect for you as a person. None. And this, quite simply, is not without reason. I could never respect someone such as yourself. You embody almost every attribute of people that I cannot stand, but loathe. Words easily become weapons, spiked with venom. Your venom is not truth, but lies. You manipulate speech to your advantage to gain yourself attention. Attention that you crave to no end. And truly, your need for attention can never be sated. It has not in the time I have known you, and I do not believe it ever shall be. I have no idea where you'll be in a few years, but should you not smarten up, and I mean quick, you're going to have dug yourself so deep the light of day is going to be impossible to see up over the top of that hole you're in. Additionally, you play the part of a chameleon. You change your colors to fit the wants and needs of everyone surrounding yourself. A new environment gives way to new colors. None of these are truly yourself. And despite your little camouflage, eventually you're not going to be able to hide any more. Someone's going to notice. And we have. You lack any true tastes, likes, interests or personality. You change like the wind to adapt to whatever you feel is required of you. In this respect, you're hardly a person but function more like a machine. It is one thing to expand your horizons. It's another to take on different identities to different people. Even the most skilled of criminals with numerous identities eventually get caught in the web of lies they weave, and let's face it babe, you ain't an expert. You are also incredibly two faced. One moment you're whispering behind someone's back of your dislike for them (or more likely lies that showcase your aversion for them) . You do your damnedest to try and aggravate others emotions towards certain people because of your own pettiness, jealousy, insecurities and childish notions. There are so many other things I could list. Particular instances, some recently.
Okay, you know what, I will name some. Who the fuck do you think you are saying to someone that the reason I don't hang out with Celina as much any more is because I hate her? That's a pretty audacious thing to go around saying. I'm trying to be as obscenity free as I possibly can in this whole thing, but seriously, fuck you. You are a complete douche bag. Don't ever speak like you have any idea about anything like that. I love my Celina, and you can back the fuck down. I haven't been hanging out with hardly anyone lately. I've been sick for awhile, a lot sicker then I've let on to most people, and the fact that I haven't felt well enough more times then not is a big part of why I haven't been hanging out with anyone. So, in the most sincere and nicest possible way that this can be taken, eat your words, and I hope they give you indigestion as everything else seems to do.
That is just one isolated incident. Others, I am less educated about so I won't go running my mouth (as it is you tend to do… that is your job after all. I wouldn't want you to take offense or to feel as if someone else was performing your job in a more skilled manner then yourself, and I assure you, I could if I so chose to.). But I can say that they have lead to my shaking my head in disgust and disbelief. Or not so much disbelief, because I do believe you would do these things. I know you would. And, evidently, you have. I think they're ridiculous and show poor judgment on your part. Not only poor judgment, but your ability to easily disregard others for yourself. Mary Mary Mary. That is always the bottom line with you, isn't it?
I do realize this must be a whole lot for you to take in. So feel free to read this multiple times and just let it all sink in. What I do ask of you, however, is to not call my house and leave stupid messages on my answering machine. You never called me back. That's great. I really wasn't hoping for you to. Comments you have about myself, about Amanda, about situations that do not concern you, situations that you are ignorant about, and the likes, please keep to yourself. No one wishes to hear them. Not a single person. Whether you realize it or not, people are pretty sick of your bullshit. The difference is that I'm done having to feel this way. I'm done with this. And Amanda is too. I have come to decide that with a month and a half left here, I'm going to be completely honest. I have absolutely no need to hold any of this inside. And the only reason I did for so long was because I didn't want to get other people involved. I didn't want to drag people into this when it didn't concern them, as I knew they would be one way or another, whether they chose to be, or you chose to try and bring them into it. I do not think that is fair to these people, the same as I do not think it is fair to us.
As a final note, I will thank you for one thing. Thank you for having the smarts to leave Liz out of this as much as possible. Had you ever, or should you ever, try to start shit between her and myself… I promise you that I will be able to make an exception to my stance on non-violence and I will punch you right between the eyes. This is not a threat, rather a promise to you. Don't fuck with shit you have no business touching. It really is as simple as that. The same goes for my Amanda. Leave her alone. If I hear so much as you having said one more bad thing about her, or if I hear you were bitching and crying to people about how horrible bitches either of us are because we were willing to call you on all the shit that you do and boohoo sobsobsob everyone hates me it is soooo like unfair and crycrycry because Amanda and Holly are big and mean and taking unfair jabs at me, then I will be severely pissed. We're not involving others, so please have the decency to let others be. You created this mess that you find yourself in with having to deal with truths that you are not going to want to have to hear, so you be the big girl that you are and you suck it up and you take it and figure out a way to make things work and to feel better, and to hopefully change and readjust all the things you obviously need to get working on pronto. These things that I'm saying are not in any way biased or unfair. They are truthful and have been on my mind. So rest assured. Things between you and myself, will not be fixed. Not only do I not wish for them to be, but I do not foresee any ways that this would be possible as it has long since been damaged. I cannot associate with people I have no respect for, and therefore not be friends with them. Quite honestly, I don't think you and I have been friends for a VERY long time. I was willing to give one last go, but as quickly as that notion entered my mind, it soon left is as I remembered all the reasons I had given myself in the first place. They all still apply, and not only that, but there are more (and I hadn't even known that was possible).
Friendship is not something that I can see with you. But, I am a decent person, and will continue to be decent to you when and if I see you in this next month and a half. I'm not some psycho bitch so I'm not going to go and try and make your life hell. That's not my style. I don't feel the need to be a backbiter. Consider yourself lucky for that because my skill with words is not lacking. (if that sounds conceited, then oh well. It's truthful. And truth and conceit are entirely different things.)
And as the sun has now started to rise, and I find myself without the want or need to sleep, I think I shall go pick up a book and read.
I hope you ponder all that I've had to say and hopefully at least the tiniest bit penetrates you and reaches something in you.
Sincerely,
Holly
You ain't got no class
Keep running your mouth and
I just might kick your ass
With the skyline just the faintest hints at lightening to the impending rise of the sun… I know that I've a lot to get off of my chest. Though it is not something that happens, I know that I'm actually going to take advantage of this opportunity, just as Amanda has done. So, I'm not going to hold back. And here it all is. Offensive or not, I no longer care to spare anyone's feelings but my own. Inevitably, I would rather hurt someone else then continue to hurt myself.
Mary,
Your actions as of late have been, in my eyes (and I'm sure in the eyes of others), not only ridiculous but childish, uncalled for, and unforgivable. The only way I can figure it is that despite your age, you have yet to figure out exactly how it is the world works. One can only stay naïve for so long before they're finally bitten in the ass and given a rude awakening. I'm sorry to say, but this is yours. And the fact of the matter is this is not something you can fake to be okay. This is something that you're going to have to deal with, just as you're going to have to deal with other situations (many probably being the exact same as this should you not learn quickly) in the future, both near and far. So sit back. You're probably going to need to.
There is a scientific law that describes this. ``For every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. `` Your conniving ways to upset the lives of others… to stir up unnecessary drama… has given way to people being upset with other people, misinformed, blatantly lied to, confused, stressed and all of this wrongfully so. So here's the reaction to all the shit, and it's been long coming. Not once can I think for all the shit that you have said about everyone, to everyone, has there ever been a root reason that was in the slightest bit legitimate. No such syllable to give even the vaguest hintings of truth to the words that you spoke. Not a single one. What it comes down to is the vast majority of everything that leaves your lips and falls upon the ears of others is a lie. A fabrication of truth that fits your wants in one way or another. These things that you have said have set off a chain reaction, one that (sadly for yourself, I'm sure) ultimately did not produce any sort of permanent upset in chemistry between peoples. Amanda is going to be one of my best friends no matter what. Amanda and Adam are going to be friends. Things that you said, and do continue to say, may lead to little riffs, but they are easily repaired as anyone can see they were caused by you and no one else.
Why it is you feel the need to revert to talking behind people's backs and then playing Miss Sweet And Innocent to their faces, I will never understand. Should someone have a problem with someone else, it really is not only the smart, but the adult thing to do to face these problems. However, you seem to excel in creating problems and then backing yourself out into a quite convenient niche so you can proceed to watch what it is that occurs after the fact. Well sweetheart, let me tell you, that hidey-hole has been blown from the wall. So climb the fuck out and stop being a mouse.
I have no respect for you as a person. None. And this, quite simply, is not without reason. I could never respect someone such as yourself. You embody almost every attribute of people that I cannot stand, but loathe. Words easily become weapons, spiked with venom. Your venom is not truth, but lies. You manipulate speech to your advantage to gain yourself attention. Attention that you crave to no end. And truly, your need for attention can never be sated. It has not in the time I have known you, and I do not believe it ever shall be. I have no idea where you'll be in a few years, but should you not smarten up, and I mean quick, you're going to have dug yourself so deep the light of day is going to be impossible to see up over the top of that hole you're in. Additionally, you play the part of a chameleon. You change your colors to fit the wants and needs of everyone surrounding yourself. A new environment gives way to new colors. None of these are truly yourself. And despite your little camouflage, eventually you're not going to be able to hide any more. Someone's going to notice. And we have. You lack any true tastes, likes, interests or personality. You change like the wind to adapt to whatever you feel is required of you. In this respect, you're hardly a person but function more like a machine. It is one thing to expand your horizons. It's another to take on different identities to different people. Even the most skilled of criminals with numerous identities eventually get caught in the web of lies they weave, and let's face it babe, you ain't an expert. You are also incredibly two faced. One moment you're whispering behind someone's back of your dislike for them (or more likely lies that showcase your aversion for them) . You do your damnedest to try and aggravate others emotions towards certain people because of your own pettiness, jealousy, insecurities and childish notions. There are so many other things I could list. Particular instances, some recently.
Okay, you know what, I will name some. Who the fuck do you think you are saying to someone that the reason I don't hang out with Celina as much any more is because I hate her? That's a pretty audacious thing to go around saying. I'm trying to be as obscenity free as I possibly can in this whole thing, but seriously, fuck you. You are a complete douche bag. Don't ever speak like you have any idea about anything like that. I love my Celina, and you can back the fuck down. I haven't been hanging out with hardly anyone lately. I've been sick for awhile, a lot sicker then I've let on to most people, and the fact that I haven't felt well enough more times then not is a big part of why I haven't been hanging out with anyone. So, in the most sincere and nicest possible way that this can be taken, eat your words, and I hope they give you indigestion as everything else seems to do.
That is just one isolated incident. Others, I am less educated about so I won't go running my mouth (as it is you tend to do… that is your job after all. I wouldn't want you to take offense or to feel as if someone else was performing your job in a more skilled manner then yourself, and I assure you, I could if I so chose to.). But I can say that they have lead to my shaking my head in disgust and disbelief. Or not so much disbelief, because I do believe you would do these things. I know you would. And, evidently, you have. I think they're ridiculous and show poor judgment on your part. Not only poor judgment, but your ability to easily disregard others for yourself. Mary Mary Mary. That is always the bottom line with you, isn't it?
I do realize this must be a whole lot for you to take in. So feel free to read this multiple times and just let it all sink in. What I do ask of you, however, is to not call my house and leave stupid messages on my answering machine. You never called me back. That's great. I really wasn't hoping for you to. Comments you have about myself, about Amanda, about situations that do not concern you, situations that you are ignorant about, and the likes, please keep to yourself. No one wishes to hear them. Not a single person. Whether you realize it or not, people are pretty sick of your bullshit. The difference is that I'm done having to feel this way. I'm done with this. And Amanda is too. I have come to decide that with a month and a half left here, I'm going to be completely honest. I have absolutely no need to hold any of this inside. And the only reason I did for so long was because I didn't want to get other people involved. I didn't want to drag people into this when it didn't concern them, as I knew they would be one way or another, whether they chose to be, or you chose to try and bring them into it. I do not think that is fair to these people, the same as I do not think it is fair to us.
As a final note, I will thank you for one thing. Thank you for having the smarts to leave Liz out of this as much as possible. Had you ever, or should you ever, try to start shit between her and myself… I promise you that I will be able to make an exception to my stance on non-violence and I will punch you right between the eyes. This is not a threat, rather a promise to you. Don't fuck with shit you have no business touching. It really is as simple as that. The same goes for my Amanda. Leave her alone. If I hear so much as you having said one more bad thing about her, or if I hear you were bitching and crying to people about how horrible bitches either of us are because we were willing to call you on all the shit that you do and boohoo sobsobsob everyone hates me it is soooo like unfair and crycrycry because Amanda and Holly are big and mean and taking unfair jabs at me, then I will be severely pissed. We're not involving others, so please have the decency to let others be. You created this mess that you find yourself in with having to deal with truths that you are not going to want to have to hear, so you be the big girl that you are and you suck it up and you take it and figure out a way to make things work and to feel better, and to hopefully change and readjust all the things you obviously need to get working on pronto. These things that I'm saying are not in any way biased or unfair. They are truthful and have been on my mind. So rest assured. Things between you and myself, will not be fixed. Not only do I not wish for them to be, but I do not foresee any ways that this would be possible as it has long since been damaged. I cannot associate with people I have no respect for, and therefore not be friends with them. Quite honestly, I don't think you and I have been friends for a VERY long time. I was willing to give one last go, but as quickly as that notion entered my mind, it soon left is as I remembered all the reasons I had given myself in the first place. They all still apply, and not only that, but there are more (and I hadn't even known that was possible).
Friendship is not something that I can see with you. But, I am a decent person, and will continue to be decent to you when and if I see you in this next month and a half. I'm not some psycho bitch so I'm not going to go and try and make your life hell. That's not my style. I don't feel the need to be a backbiter. Consider yourself lucky for that because my skill with words is not lacking. (if that sounds conceited, then oh well. It's truthful. And truth and conceit are entirely different things.)
And as the sun has now started to rise, and I find myself without the want or need to sleep, I think I shall go pick up a book and read.
I hope you ponder all that I've had to say and hopefully at least the tiniest bit penetrates you and reaches something in you.
Sincerely,
Holly