the joy of simple metaphors.
this morning while on the treadmill i was having a little chat with God in my head, how i would like to live life from now on pure and simply, and direct it only at the end-light. i'm focusing on physical sensations a lot more these days, appreciating the asymmetry of trees, the prickly warmth of the sun on skin, the subtle notations of music, chewing food slowly and enjoying each burst of flavour. in fact i stroll at snail's pace and heard someone mutter annoyedly behind me "walk so slow." haha sigh
anyway, as i enter the sauna, a power outage occurs. i grope around and lay in the pitch-dark silence, savouring the moment of absolute peace. outside a bevy of ladies are scurrying and trying to fill the void with increasingly anxious chatter. it's funny how humanity feels the need to cope with darkness by talking more loudly haha. but what seemed like 10 minutes before the lights came on was a feeling of inexplicable solace, just hearing your breathing, seeing nothing. i can imagine how death must be that way, not in a morbid way of course.
till that day, my sole purpose in life right now is to be there for my children. they're my heart and soul and i want nothing but to see them through to their adult years, being their zany mom when life gets too serious, holding them when they face disappointment. that is my covenant with God until my time is up. and i'm certain it will materialise.
i know my friends and family are really concerned about me (you lovely souls), why my weight has dropped drastically or that i may be in dire need of company. i just want you all to know that your thoughts and love are deeply appreciated. but i'm truly alright because i am learning to embrace the darkness, where loneliness isn't an issue, but a silent understanding of what life is really about. i don't feel the solitude but peace.
love and light to all =]
anyway, as i enter the sauna, a power outage occurs. i grope around and lay in the pitch-dark silence, savouring the moment of absolute peace. outside a bevy of ladies are scurrying and trying to fill the void with increasingly anxious chatter. it's funny how humanity feels the need to cope with darkness by talking more loudly haha. but what seemed like 10 minutes before the lights came on was a feeling of inexplicable solace, just hearing your breathing, seeing nothing. i can imagine how death must be that way, not in a morbid way of course.
till that day, my sole purpose in life right now is to be there for my children. they're my heart and soul and i want nothing but to see them through to their adult years, being their zany mom when life gets too serious, holding them when they face disappointment. that is my covenant with God until my time is up. and i'm certain it will materialise.
i know my friends and family are really concerned about me (you lovely souls), why my weight has dropped drastically or that i may be in dire need of company. i just want you all to know that your thoughts and love are deeply appreciated. but i'm truly alright because i am learning to embrace the darkness, where loneliness isn't an issue, but a silent understanding of what life is really about. i don't feel the solitude but peace.
love and light to all =]