The time has come, today...
So, I'm a slacker. Deal.
I don't write on here anymore because, frankly, I don't have the time. Or the inclination. Until today.
Well, technically, today I still don't have the time. And I'm only inclined to write because I need to.
My head hurts and my heart hurts and I'm sick to my stomach and DAMN IT I need to write, get some stuff off my chest.
So, read if you want. I hope that maybe the crazy shit going on in my head can help someone else. Or provide some much needed perspective, humor, or an escape. Gawd knows I need it right now.
So, school. I hate it. I mean, I love my classes and I love what I'm learning and I LOVE being in the communication department -- but I hate rules and schedules and counselors and graduation dates. Jeebus. Just let me learn about the awesome shit that makes me happy -- like avant garde performance and non-verbal communication and rhetoric -- and leave me alone with biology labs and college algebra.
I want soooo desperately to go to Grad school but I'm so scared that I'll never get in.
And I want soooo desperately to start my graphic design business but I'm so scared that I'll fail.
I have absolutely no self-confidence right now.
Which isn't helped by the fact that I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life with no time to work out and a propensity to eat when I'm stressed. And I hate seeing people I "used to know" when I feel like this. How come every person that I ever wanted to prove something to pops up when I'm low and feeling like shit?
Cause the world hates me, that's why.
In other news, Paul loves me like a rock. I really think I'd be doing some incredibly self-destructive shit right now if I didn't have him. And I put that boy through hell sometimes, I know -- with my almost constant need for attention and with my neurotic personality -- but he knows that I LOVE him like nobody's business, so I think it's cool. Most certainly things will get better. I will get better.
I'm rambling right now, huh? Eh, I kinda planned on it, anyway. But it always sounds so stupid once you re-read it all.
I'm going to go ahead and clean my bedroom and do some dishes. Pay some bills and maybe buy myself some music.
I hope you guys are finding growing up just as difficult as I am -- I know it's the only reason I've grown so much so fast, and I want all of us to get to that better place sooner than later. We'll all laugh about it when it's over.
Ciao -- Krys
I don't write on here anymore because, frankly, I don't have the time. Or the inclination. Until today.
Well, technically, today I still don't have the time. And I'm only inclined to write because I need to.
My head hurts and my heart hurts and I'm sick to my stomach and DAMN IT I need to write, get some stuff off my chest.
So, read if you want. I hope that maybe the crazy shit going on in my head can help someone else. Or provide some much needed perspective, humor, or an escape. Gawd knows I need it right now.
So, school. I hate it. I mean, I love my classes and I love what I'm learning and I LOVE being in the communication department -- but I hate rules and schedules and counselors and graduation dates. Jeebus. Just let me learn about the awesome shit that makes me happy -- like avant garde performance and non-verbal communication and rhetoric -- and leave me alone with biology labs and college algebra.
I want soooo desperately to go to Grad school but I'm so scared that I'll never get in.
And I want soooo desperately to start my graphic design business but I'm so scared that I'll fail.
I have absolutely no self-confidence right now.
Which isn't helped by the fact that I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life with no time to work out and a propensity to eat when I'm stressed. And I hate seeing people I "used to know" when I feel like this. How come every person that I ever wanted to prove something to pops up when I'm low and feeling like shit?
Cause the world hates me, that's why.
In other news, Paul loves me like a rock. I really think I'd be doing some incredibly self-destructive shit right now if I didn't have him. And I put that boy through hell sometimes, I know -- with my almost constant need for attention and with my neurotic personality -- but he knows that I LOVE him like nobody's business, so I think it's cool. Most certainly things will get better. I will get better.
I'm rambling right now, huh? Eh, I kinda planned on it, anyway. But it always sounds so stupid once you re-read it all.
I'm going to go ahead and clean my bedroom and do some dishes. Pay some bills and maybe buy myself some music.
I hope you guys are finding growing up just as difficult as I am -- I know it's the only reason I've grown so much so fast, and I want all of us to get to that better place sooner than later. We'll all laugh about it when it's over.
Ciao -- Krys