i got the brain burn
swear to goddess i feel more burned out than even my stoner alcoholic roommates lately. Today my head hurts and i'm sore all over my body. i've been working so hard; cleaning houses for people. i bike out of town ten miles into the mountains to clean one persons house for a few hours and then bike back. ten there and ten back.
Last night at the This Bike is a Pipebomb show, i was feelin' my friends belly for the squirming little creature inside - a woman was walking by with a bloody hand. i borrowed the bars first aid kit, fixed her up and we got her a ride to a safe place(at least i hope it was safe) Typical story. SHitty boyfriend. She had to get away and gashed her hand hopping over a fence. SHe was wasted. Crying as she hugged me and thanked me, said she'd never forget me. These kind of interactions seems so commonplace to me anymore. I'm never surprised when i run into another abusive situation, another person trying to escape madness, hurt and scarred. Scared and running and falling right in it. i try to offer what ever amount of healing that i can and that's okay. It's an effort. i feel pretty tired myself right now and that's a frustrating feeling because i feel like i'm hardly even engaged in my own life much less anyone else's. My brain feels like dead weight sometimes. COncentration is hard. No wit inside. i just feel like staring into to space and floating in my dream, it's so easy to do. Critical thinking is a challenge. I'm passive. But i know it doesn't have to be that way. i can change that, i've just got to make a peace with myself. Self-confidence is the remedy. My lack of confidence initiates this state that i'm in. Hey great belle and sabastian song!
bye.
Last night at the This Bike is a Pipebomb show, i was feelin' my friends belly for the squirming little creature inside - a woman was walking by with a bloody hand. i borrowed the bars first aid kit, fixed her up and we got her a ride to a safe place(at least i hope it was safe) Typical story. SHitty boyfriend. She had to get away and gashed her hand hopping over a fence. SHe was wasted. Crying as she hugged me and thanked me, said she'd never forget me. These kind of interactions seems so commonplace to me anymore. I'm never surprised when i run into another abusive situation, another person trying to escape madness, hurt and scarred. Scared and running and falling right in it. i try to offer what ever amount of healing that i can and that's okay. It's an effort. i feel pretty tired myself right now and that's a frustrating feeling because i feel like i'm hardly even engaged in my own life much less anyone else's. My brain feels like dead weight sometimes. COncentration is hard. No wit inside. i just feel like staring into to space and floating in my dream, it's so easy to do. Critical thinking is a challenge. I'm passive. But i know it doesn't have to be that way. i can change that, i've just got to make a peace with myself. Self-confidence is the remedy. My lack of confidence initiates this state that i'm in. Hey great belle and sabastian song!
bye.