(no subject)
Meh. So I guess this is karma? In the sense that you tell one person you can't hang out because you can't at the time, but ultimately, end up hanging out with someone else a whole lot later. Then see people you really don't want to see. Yes, I would say so, kind of, sort of. Then having random girls who are friends or previous mutual friends come up to you like they know you... What the hell is that? I dunno, that seems desperate. And desperate is not hot. Remember that. Cause one day, you might almost act out in a way that could be construed as desperate, but remember that, and you could save yourself a whole lot of future embarassment.
Enough life lessons for today.
I really hate my life right now. And not that "I'm an angsty teen" type of hate. I just hate my "routine". I am the type of person that looks at things from a future and past perspective. And in the future, when I reflect on this year, I am going to want to beat the crap out of my former self. I want to do so many things, but it's hard. Because when you really want to do something, but really don't have the means of doing those things, it sort of just fucks you up all together. Failure is one of my biggest fears. I'd say #2 on the list. And right now I can only think of one other fear, which would be #1. I kind of feel that #2 is where I'm headed. And I don't want that. I'm not the person who I want to be right now. Far from it. And I really need to do something about that. And I will.
Enough life lessons for today.
I really hate my life right now. And not that "I'm an angsty teen" type of hate. I just hate my "routine". I am the type of person that looks at things from a future and past perspective. And in the future, when I reflect on this year, I am going to want to beat the crap out of my former self. I want to do so many things, but it's hard. Because when you really want to do something, but really don't have the means of doing those things, it sort of just fucks you up all together. Failure is one of my biggest fears. I'd say #2 on the list. And right now I can only think of one other fear, which would be #1. I kind of feel that #2 is where I'm headed. And I don't want that. I'm not the person who I want to be right now. Far from it. And I really need to do something about that. And I will.