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A pen lid, a marble, a princess and jelly baby have had enough of being a hazard and they are here to show you the correct technique to save a choking baby.

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This is how English sounds to non-English speakers

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how would you feel in such a situation?

what type of job would you apply for?

We all live on the other side of our appearances. Our faces belong more to the others than do to ourselves.

(c) Andrew Gormley, American author

Wanting to meet a writer because you like their books is like wanting to meet a duck because you like paté.

(c) Margaret Roald Amundsen, Canadian author

Films should have a beginning, a middle and an end - but not necessarily in that order.

(c) Jean-Luc Godard, French film director

If you speak three languages, you are trilingual. If you speak two, you are bilingual. If you speak one, you are English.

German joke

A newspaper is a device unable to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(c) George Bernard Shaw, Irish author

Humans beings are 70% water. With some people, the rest is collagen.

(c) Martin Mull, American actor and writer