(no subject)
ooooooooook
that's all.
nothing is happening. nothing. i'm avoiding writting a 6 page story, in which i have no desire to write in the first place. i hate writting. i hate english. i'm in a shitty mood. prolly b/c i feel shitty. i'm frustrated with school, paying my bills and life. it needs something.
not like i'm not having fun or anything. i just don't feel like i have anyone there. there to call me and hang out with me. there to reek havoc on something, for "super-model documentary hours" hahaha. i do have friends. i've never been friendless. and untill this year there has always been someone there to call, to go hang out and do nothing or actually do something and have a blast. and this year, it sucks. there isn't anyone. i party and make friends, but i don't really hang out with anyone. or something. do you get it?
i want my kha!!! haha seriously, i can't find anyone to go out and have fun with me like that. most of the people here are to reserved, and they think i'm crazy when i want to do something crazy. haha, OH! fyi, i'm getting my pictures developed from when you left kha! yeah, it took me forever, but amy is going to develop them for me. i'm way excited. i'll get them saturday.
which is party day! i'm way excited. I'm on the invite and everything. it's me and four other guys. haha. maybe that's why none of the girls i hang out with are crazy like me...i am used to the shananagens of guys! haha, they really aren't afraid to actually do stuff and not worry about what others think. hmmm......i'm so lonely, it's pathetic! haha,
jelly and mitch are back together.
clayton and nicole are back together. which really doesnt' bother me. i thought maybe it would. but it really doesn't. what bothers me is that he totally just shoved me aside. like i was never there. i didn't really think there was anything more than friends between us.... untill we made out, tehehe, but that's just a usual drunk jess and clayton thing. haha, not anymore. oh well. i guess we weren't the friends i thought we were. seems like that with a lot of people. i hate being so naive.
but then i have a new friend in my life, from work. and i talk to him almost everyday. i don't want anything with him, he's just so much fun to hang out with and party with. acidentally made out with him....yeah, i know bad jessica. i just happened. i stopped it. cuz i don't want that with him. i like the friendship we have. damn me.
but i think he thinks it's a little more than it really is. do ya know what i mean? haha, why am i asking questions like i'm talking to you? wait, i am talking to you...but you don't have to answer.
oh goodness, i could be reading into things a little to much, but usually i'm right about things like this. i'm able to read people...to a certain extent. i guess anyone is able to read people...i just, i dont' know.
i'm done
acutally, i've made a lot of friends from work. why am i saying i'm lonely? maybe i'm just jealous that everyone seems to have someone. shouldn't i be used to that by now? oh boy, maybe i need to stop acting like me. yeah right. i'm just now finding out who 'me' really is. i'm innocent (really i am ;)), or more or less very naive. i'm inexperienced with so many things, but then i also am able to take over situations and become the leader. i find myself doing that more and more at work.....i'm learning.
we have evaluations in a couple weeks at work. i'm a little nervous. whenever connie (my bitch of a manager) asks me something, i seem not to know the answer. mostly about alcohol. you'd think i'd know everything!! hahaha, just kidding. but oh well. Erica, my other manager likes me, so i think it's an equal balance thing. Connie to rag on me and make me improve and Erica to actually give me the confidence to improve. it'll get better. I love working there. the people are so much fun. I have a "love" named Chris *haha* at work and he's my little 'pet' if you will haha. He always calls me his love and hugs me or gives me a massage. he's so good to me!! looks after me to. helps me with so much! love him!!! and everyone else is so much fun. I get along with everyone and talk to all the guys so easily. i think i'm turning into the restaurant mascot or something. haha, i'm the 'young one' that's sweet. or something. but i can hold my own as well. i know how to be a smart ass enough to be like the rest of them. tehehe.
so work is good. school sucks. but it always has. i wish i could find something to motivate me. oh well....i'll make it through.
"Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly." Epictetus--greek philosopher
"BeTrue2UrHeart: I would just like to tell you... because I know you have heard "the right one will come along some day" too many times
if the day comes when you are tired of waiting...I would totally turn lesbian for you lol jk ;-)"
"she didn't respect that!" hahahahahahaha
"i heart you too! but we all know how easily distracted you can get......
especially with windows and hott boys around"
"i don't think she knew he had a mouth!
or There was no organ bumping (insert hand gesture)" hehe gotta love kevin!!!
"I FUCKING LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!"
"my BEST FRIENDS!!!"~~ sunnie
"it's loose down there!" mindy, and jumbling towers....
"the whole world is cute!" ~amy
"i have to URINATE!!"
"ur the man"
"fo sho, fo sho"
"i'm SOOOOOOOOOO good looking!"
time to get "CRUNKED IN THE CLUB!!"
"i love you??"
" haha, well, you've been talking to the wrong people then if you haven't heard something planning to run over an old lady in a riot lately!" -kha
"sweet and sour sauce all over my body..."
that is from my facebook...i need to clean it out...time for new quotes.
oh facebook. how addictive it is. oh boy......
what else? my computer just stopped working, so we'll see if any of this saves in the first place. i really need to write my story....
i always seem to write better at night, the night before something is due. Its gonna be a long night.
that's all.
nothing is happening. nothing. i'm avoiding writting a 6 page story, in which i have no desire to write in the first place. i hate writting. i hate english. i'm in a shitty mood. prolly b/c i feel shitty. i'm frustrated with school, paying my bills and life. it needs something.
not like i'm not having fun or anything. i just don't feel like i have anyone there. there to call me and hang out with me. there to reek havoc on something, for "super-model documentary hours" hahaha. i do have friends. i've never been friendless. and untill this year there has always been someone there to call, to go hang out and do nothing or actually do something and have a blast. and this year, it sucks. there isn't anyone. i party and make friends, but i don't really hang out with anyone. or something. do you get it?
i want my kha!!! haha seriously, i can't find anyone to go out and have fun with me like that. most of the people here are to reserved, and they think i'm crazy when i want to do something crazy. haha, OH! fyi, i'm getting my pictures developed from when you left kha! yeah, it took me forever, but amy is going to develop them for me. i'm way excited. i'll get them saturday.
which is party day! i'm way excited. I'm on the invite and everything. it's me and four other guys. haha. maybe that's why none of the girls i hang out with are crazy like me...i am used to the shananagens of guys! haha, they really aren't afraid to actually do stuff and not worry about what others think. hmmm......i'm so lonely, it's pathetic! haha,
jelly and mitch are back together.
clayton and nicole are back together. which really doesnt' bother me. i thought maybe it would. but it really doesn't. what bothers me is that he totally just shoved me aside. like i was never there. i didn't really think there was anything more than friends between us.... untill we made out, tehehe, but that's just a usual drunk jess and clayton thing. haha, not anymore. oh well. i guess we weren't the friends i thought we were. seems like that with a lot of people. i hate being so naive.
but then i have a new friend in my life, from work. and i talk to him almost everyday. i don't want anything with him, he's just so much fun to hang out with and party with. acidentally made out with him....yeah, i know bad jessica. i just happened. i stopped it. cuz i don't want that with him. i like the friendship we have. damn me.
but i think he thinks it's a little more than it really is. do ya know what i mean? haha, why am i asking questions like i'm talking to you? wait, i am talking to you...but you don't have to answer.
oh goodness, i could be reading into things a little to much, but usually i'm right about things like this. i'm able to read people...to a certain extent. i guess anyone is able to read people...i just, i dont' know.
i'm done
acutally, i've made a lot of friends from work. why am i saying i'm lonely? maybe i'm just jealous that everyone seems to have someone. shouldn't i be used to that by now? oh boy, maybe i need to stop acting like me. yeah right. i'm just now finding out who 'me' really is. i'm innocent (really i am ;)), or more or less very naive. i'm inexperienced with so many things, but then i also am able to take over situations and become the leader. i find myself doing that more and more at work.....i'm learning.
we have evaluations in a couple weeks at work. i'm a little nervous. whenever connie (my bitch of a manager) asks me something, i seem not to know the answer. mostly about alcohol. you'd think i'd know everything!! hahaha, just kidding. but oh well. Erica, my other manager likes me, so i think it's an equal balance thing. Connie to rag on me and make me improve and Erica to actually give me the confidence to improve. it'll get better. I love working there. the people are so much fun. I have a "love" named Chris *haha* at work and he's my little 'pet' if you will haha. He always calls me his love and hugs me or gives me a massage. he's so good to me!! looks after me to. helps me with so much! love him!!! and everyone else is so much fun. I get along with everyone and talk to all the guys so easily. i think i'm turning into the restaurant mascot or something. haha, i'm the 'young one' that's sweet. or something. but i can hold my own as well. i know how to be a smart ass enough to be like the rest of them. tehehe.
so work is good. school sucks. but it always has. i wish i could find something to motivate me. oh well....i'll make it through.
"Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly." Epictetus--greek philosopher
"BeTrue2UrHeart: I would just like to tell you... because I know you have heard "the right one will come along some day" too many times
if the day comes when you are tired of waiting...I would totally turn lesbian for you lol jk ;-)"
"she didn't respect that!" hahahahahahaha
"i heart you too! but we all know how easily distracted you can get......
especially with windows and hott boys around"
"i don't think she knew he had a mouth!
or There was no organ bumping (insert hand gesture)" hehe gotta love kevin!!!
"I FUCKING LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!"
"my BEST FRIENDS!!!"~~ sunnie
"it's loose down there!" mindy, and jumbling towers....
"the whole world is cute!" ~amy
"i have to URINATE!!"
"ur the man"
"fo sho, fo sho"
"i'm SOOOOOOOOOO good looking!"
time to get "CRUNKED IN THE CLUB!!"
"i love you??"
" haha, well, you've been talking to the wrong people then if you haven't heard something planning to run over an old lady in a riot lately!" -kha
"sweet and sour sauce all over my body..."
that is from my facebook...i need to clean it out...time for new quotes.
oh facebook. how addictive it is. oh boy......
what else? my computer just stopped working, so we'll see if any of this saves in the first place. i really need to write my story....
i always seem to write better at night, the night before something is due. Its gonna be a long night.