Agent Carter/HDM: Bad Habits

[awanderingbard]

Title: Bad Habits
Characters: Ana Jarvis, Edwin Jarvis, Peggy Carter, Daniel Sousa, daemons
Rating: PG
Warnings/Triggers: [Spoiler (click to open)]someone who has been drugged
Spoilers: Most of the first four episodes of Season Two of Agent Carter
Pairings: Jarvis/Ana
Word Count 3,656
Summary: Ana has a husband with a very bad habit of hurting himself and committing felonies.
Author's notes: This is a short(ish) missing scene sort of thing from Episode Four, when [Spoiler (click to open)]Jarvis is drugged by the tranquillizer dart. I wanted to do something with Ana caring for him, and it ended up being a silly bit of fluff and a chance to explore their relationship dynamics. Also, there are daemons, because that's how it arrived in my head.

For the record, I assume Ana and Hesper probably speak to each other in Hungarian, but for obvious reasons, I've had them use English here, except for a few, appropriate places.

Peggy Carter's daemon, Takeo, was created by the lovely joonscribble, with whom I share the MCU daemons. Thanks to her!

For reference: Hesperos ["Hesper/Hesci"] (a Chinese Oath Silk Moth), Haddie (a Welsh Springer spaniel), Takeo (a Spotted Hyena), and Eitana (an aardwolf).



“What the tartar?” Ana muttered.

Hesper twitched his antennae around as he looked to see what had her surprised. Miss Carter stood outside the door of the house, waiting for Ana as she drove up the drive. Takeo paced around her feet as though anxious to be elsewhere.

“Something is amiss,” Hesper said.

“Yes,” Ana agreed. “Poor Edwin.”

“How do you know it is poor Edwin?” Hesper wondered.

“If it’s not him, he would be here to look worried,” Ana said.

“Poor Haddie,” Hesper said.

Ana stopped the car by two others parked at the door. Miss Carter gave her a smile in greeting that was stiff and awkward.

“Hello, Mrs Jarvis,” she said. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you,” Ana said. “What has happened?”

Takeo’s ears flattened to his head, and Miss Carter touched her hair. “Well, I’m afraid there’s been something of an accident,” she said. She held up her hands before Ana could speak. “Mr Jarvis is fine. Mostly. Unhurt, really. No long term damage was done.”

Hesper felt Ana’s heart speed up and brushed his wings to her neck to calm her down. Miss Carter was a direct speaker. Were Edwin very hurt, she would say so explicitly.

“What did he do to himself this time?” Ana asked.

“He’s been hit with a tranquillizer dart,” Miss Carter said.

Good God. Each time Hesper thought Edwin could do nothing stranger to himself, he succeeded.

“Has Julian acted up again?” Ana asked.

“Julian?” Miss Carter said.

“The koala,” Ana said. “He and Edwin do not get on.”

“Oh, yes,” Miss Carter said. “I mean, no. It wasn’t to do with the koala. It was just an unfortunate...hunting incident. He’s rather incapacitated at the moment. I thought I should warn you.”

Ana opened the car door, and Miss Carter stepped back to allow her out. “Has he tried to juggle?” she asked, which was of utmost concern and said in a voice to convey this.

“No…” Miss Carter said. “Does he juggle?”

“It sort of depends on your definition of juggling,” Ana explained.

Takeo looked up to Hesper for further explanation.

“It is very sweet,” Hesper said. “He does it when he’s drunk or sometimes when he’s nervous.”

Takeo’s mouth fell open into a grin. “Peggy will have to ask for a demonstration, some time,” he said. His tail twitched around, in apology. “He won’t be very capable at the moment.”

Hesper attached himself to Ana’s hair as she made her way into the house, following Miss Carter to the living room. A man was there with a sort of hyena daemon, like Takeo, but smaller and more dainty. Hesper didn’t know the animal she was, but she had an alert, shy face that was black like a mask.

“This is Agent Daniel Sousa,” Miss Carter said, gesturing to the man. “And Eitana. Daniel, this is Mrs Ana Jarvis and Hesperos.”

“Jarvis,” Agent Sousa repeated, his eyebrows going up. “You’re his wife?”

He pointed to poor Edwin, who was on the couch, his mouth wide open. Haddie was flopped on the floor, all paws in the air, one of her ears turned inside out, and the little cowlick on her forehead that she found so troublesome up in a swirl.

“Why does everyone say this like it is a shock?” Hesper wondered to Ana. “Edwin is a very attractive and good man, who wouldn’t want to be married to him?”

Ana shushed him, fluttering her fingers up by her ear to tell him to quiet. “I am she,” she said. She stepped forward to meet him with an offered hand. “It’s good to meet you. You are from the SSR, yes? Edwin says you are the smartest one there, after Miss Carter, and not a sexist fool like all the other arses.”

“Ana,” Hesper scolded, through his giggle. “Don’t be pert. It’s unattractive.”

Agent Sousa shook her hand, Eitana’s wide eyes showing his surprise. “That’s, uh, nice,” he said. “Pleasure.”

Eitana offered a flick of her tail, and Hesper wiggled his wings in return.

He flew down to check on Haddie, landing on her nose and peering down at her. She didn’t wake, but her front paws pedalled the air for a few moments.

“No, I can’t buy any pineapples today,” Edwin mumbled, swatting an invisible foe. “I have a maths examination.”

“Yeah,” Agent Sousa said. “He’s a little...out of it.”

“So, I see,” Ana said.

“Sorry,” Miss Carter added.

Ana shrugged. “What can we do?”

Hesper nodded at the sense of that. There was no point in fussing over something already done. Edwin was not in any danger, that he could see. His breath came like normal, and his skin was not pale. Hesper had seen him much worse off.

“Right,” Agent Sousa said. “Well, we kind of need to get back to work, so…”

“Yes, please go,” Ana said. “All will be fine here. Thank you for helping him.”

“I’m not sure how long the effects will last,” Miss Carter said. “As far as I know, there’s no antidote to reverse the sedative, so I’m afraid he’ll have to wait it out. I’m guessing from his figure that his metabolism is rather efficient, which will help.”

“Edwin is very proud of his physique,” Ana said, in agreement. “Do not worry, I will stay with him. It’s fine.”

Both Takeo and Eitana looked up at their humans in confusion, and Agent Sousa and Miss Carter returned their looks. Hesper wondered if they expected Ana to be hysterical. Ana wasn’t often hysterical. It was a waste of time to be hysterical. And it made Edwin very upset when Ana was upset. Hesper wouldn’t want him to rouse himself and be concerned.

“We’ll be off, then,” Agent Sousa said. He and Eitana nodded, and they headed toward the kitchen.

“The door is this way,” Ana said, pointing. “You’re heading the wrong direction, Agent.”

“Our business is actually within the house,” Miss Carter explained.

“Is it about the man in the basement who is not in our dimension of reality?” Ana wondered.

Takeo barked a laugh that he silenced quickly, and Miss Carter gave a sudden grin.

“Not directly,” she said. “But yes, it’s something to do with that. Nothing to be worried about, though, and we’ll deal with it ourselves.” She started to go, and then changed her mind, and came back, touching Ana’s arm. “We have an assassin in the boiler room. We’re going to interrogate him, and possibly poison him to threaten his life so he’ll speak to us.”

“Peggy!” Agent Sousa objected, Eitana’s ears going up in alarm.

“Oh!” Ana said. “I will stay away from there, then.”

Miss Carter smiled, and gave Ana’s arm a squeeze. “Thank you, Mrs Jarvis, you’re a remarkable woman,” she said.

Hesper fluttered his wings to Takeo, who bowed his head before following Miss Carter from the room. Ana crouched down by Edwin, stroking his face.

“My plus fours are in the wash,” Edwin murmured, apologetically.

Ana kissed his forehead, and looked to Hesper. “What the tartar!” she said, in resignation.

“What the tartar!” he agreed.

“Do you think I should wake him, or let him sleep?” she asked. “Is it like with a head injury where you must know if he can wake?”

Hesper had no idea. Edwin had never tranquilized himself before, and there were so many celebrities in the paper who took too many sedatives and died, and all those detective stories where murders were done with an overdose of tranquilizers. It must be dangerous, mustn’t it?

“If his pulse is steady and he breathes well, then you don’t need to worry, perhaps?” he suggested. “You should sit with him, but I don’t think waking him is necessary. He will be confused--even more so.”

“Yes, I think that’s right,” Ana said, but she was biting her lip. She gave Edwin’s arm a little shake. “Edwin? Are you all right, my love?”

Edwin’s eyes fluttered open. “Is it a Code Pink?” he asked.

Code Pink was what Mr Stark used when there was a ‘woman on the loose’. Hesper clucked his tongue, as he always did over such nonsense. Women were not wild animals, however Mr Stark thought of them--and treated them.

Haddie flipped from her back to her front with such speed that Hesper toppled from her nose to the floor, and dodged out of the way of a paw that hit the ground next to him. Haddie planted her feet, but they slid right out from under her, splaying around like a starfish as she landed on her belly.

“No, no, I am just seeing you’re well,” Ana assured Edwin.

“Of course well I am,” Edwin said. “I perfectly can know…” his eyes closed, and he was asleep again.

Haddie let out a snort, and joined him.

“I will let him rest,” Ana decided.

She brought her sewing basket to the living room, and sat down to do some work in a chair by the couch. Hesper divided his time between resting on her hand to ensure her stitches were neat, and going to sit on poor Haddie’s nose to make sure all was well there. Edwin snored like a great train, and sometimes Haddie’s legs moved as though she were running, but otherwise they were both calm.

“Do you remember last year, when Edwin was so strange and you didn’t know why and it was very frightening?” Hesper asked Ana. Haddie had barely been able to look him in the face, and walked around with her tail between her legs, and Hesper was so worried Edwin was ill or in great trouble.

“Yes, of course I do,” Ana said. She tsked with her tongue. “He is not a good liar, my Edwin. ‘Out to buy shoes’ indeed. At 3AM!” She gave a giggle. “Silly man.”

“I’m glad he’s no longer lying about what he’s doing,” Hesper said. “But I do wish he would stop hurting himself. Only a few days and already his nose was nearly broken, and he foiled an assassination on Miss Carter, and now he is unconscious again!”

Ana brushed her fingertips over his wings, then took up her sewing once more. “He is trying to help,” she said. “And I love him for that, so I cannot be mad at him for it. He saved me once, and now I must share him so he can help save everyone else.” Her brow furrowed. “But I wish he would do it safely, me too.”

Hesper pointed an antenna at a crooked stitch, and she undid it and made it again. “I like Miss Carter,” he said. “But she brings trouble with her.”

“She is a good person,” Ana said. “She will do her best to look after him, I think, and he will look after her. Which is good, Hesci, because I don’t think they are very good at looking after themselves!”

Hesper could tell when Edwin was starting to rouse himself, because Haddie grew concerned about her cowlick, even as she was half asleep. Her paw kept going up to touch it, then dropping again, and, once, she tried to get up to walk to Edwin so that he might fix it for her, but flopped down after only a step.

Hesper and Ana laughed over this, and some of the words that Edwin mumbled out. Some made no sense grammatically, and some were just very silly. Hesper wondered what was going on in his brain.

Then, he opened his eyes and sat up. Far too quickly, as he toppled right over again, the arm he put out to stable himself missing its mark and failing him. Ana threw her sewing aside and hurried to catch him.

“Whoops!” she said. “Steady on, there, sir.”

Hesper was on her shoulder, and could see Edwin’s very large pupils, pushing out the ice blue of his eyes. Ana thought his eyes were his nicest feature, and his profile. Hesper liked his long, steady fingers.

“Ana?” he said.

Haddie’s head rose, and she looked around with glazed eyes, her tail wagging anxiously.

“Yes, it’s me,” Ana said. “Hallo.”

“Are you all right?” he asked her, touching her cheek.

Haddie struggled to her feet and took some steps away from the couch, then changed her mind about her route and tried a different direction, bumping her head into one of the couch legs. Hesper flew down to deter her from going elsewhere.

“Yes, of course I am,” Ana said.

“I’m so glad,” he said. “I’ve been very worried.”

“Have you?” Ana said, giving his nose a kiss. “Well, you can rest now, because I’m fine.” She sat down next to him. “Come and relax.”

“I’m relieved you’re safe,” Edwin murmured. “I was worried I would be too late.”

Ana’s face softened, and she brushed his hair back. “Oh, dragám,” she said. “No, do not worry. We’re in America now. In LA, remember? Hollywood, with all the movie stars! All is well. We’re both safe, now. Well, I am. You are not trying enough, I don’t think.”

Haddie let out a heavy sigh of relief, even though Hesper wasn’t sure she knew what was going on yet. She was staring at the leg of the couch in great bewilderment. Hesper made a little whistle and she looked up at him, her tongue lolled out in delight.

“Hello! Szia!” she said, happily.

“Szia,” Hesper replied, with a laugh. “Hogy vagy?”

Haddie’s ears twitched as she pondered her response. Her Hungarian was even worse than Edwin’s, though he did not too badly. Hesper remembered the first time he’d come into the tailor shop, and his stumbling through with Ana about what he wanted. He’d admired her work, and tried to tell her she was an artist, but used the word ‘artista’, and thus, sincerely told her she was an acrobat. Hesper thought Ana had fallen in love with him right then, with his ice blue eyes and his long fingers, and his gentle voice, and Hesper had already loved Haddie’s kind face and nervous tail. How long ago that was, and didn’t seem very long at all, and what strange things had happened and continued to happen. But Edwin was still the same.

“Kosanam,” Haddie finally got out, in very phonetic Hungarian. “Yoll! Eh, sham?”

“I am fine, Haduska,” Hesper said. “You must lie down. Tell Edwin to rest.”

“Edwin is fine for the good,” Haddie scoffed.

Edwin looked around, blinking at the room, and then turned to Ana. “I hope you’ll marry me,” he told her, his cheeks flushing.

Ana held up her hand and put it next to his to show their rings. “Surprise!” she said. “I already have.”

Edwin held his hand to his face, and showed it to Haddie, who gave an excited bark. Then they both passed out, Edwin firmly into Ana’s breasts, and Haddie to the floor. Ana and Hesper both broke into loud guffaws.

“Shh, this is not funny,” Hesper scolded her.

“It must be funny, Hesci, or it would be awful instead,” Ana said, with a shake of her head. She stroked Edwin’s hair, and patted his back. “Poor Edwin. What a life you lead.”

The next twenty minutes were the most stressful of the ordeal, because Edwin was almost awake, but not quite, and the more alert he became, the more things he attempted to get up and do, ardently insisting they needed to be done. Amongst them included:

- setting the table
- making a soufflee
- buying a monkey
- ironing the General’s newspaper
- telling Ana about ‘the cheese’ (he could not elaborate on it once Ana pointed out she was there to be told)
- bringing one of his sisters her medicine
- ringing the Times to demand a retraction
- finding Mr Stark and bringing him home before his meeting in the morning

“Mr Stark is in Peru, Edwin,” Ana reminded him.

“But he’ll never be back in time then,” Edwin said, stricken. “I can’t drive there. We’re all banned from Panama, and that’s the only land bridge to South America.”

Ana had a hard time arguing with that solid piece of geography. “He’s right, it is,” she said to Hesper.

Haddie was not helpful, as she was even more determined to do the tasks, biting at Edwin’s trousers to encourage him, until they both fell asleep again, and then, once he woke up a few moments or minutes later, he had a new thing he was intent on doing and it started once more.

“Ooof, I am exhausted!” Ana said. “It is like wrestling with a giraffe!”

“You have it easy,” Hesper said, from Haddie’s forehead. “You are at least are the same size!”

Once Ana had assured Edwin there was no need to get up and buy her a Christmas present, as it was July and she was Jewish, he stopped falling asleep, and just stayed awake but drowsy. He was like when he drank too much, which was very sweet, and inclined to recite poetry.

“You’re a beautiful flutterfly,” Haddie told Hesper, as Edwin regaled Ana with a slurred rendition of ‘The Charge of the Light Brigade’.

“I am a moth, Haduska,” Hesper said.

“A pretty sloth,” Haddie said. “My most favourite of all of them.” She laid down on her belly, and put her paws together, waiting for Hesper to join her. He put himself on top of her paws, and she laid her chin down next to him and hummed ‘How Are Things in Glocca Morra?’.

“I think there were six hundred, not four hundred,” Ana told Edwin, interrupting his flowing verse.

Edwin stuck his nose in the air. “I beg your pardon, but you weren’t there,” he told her, primly.

“Yes, of course, you’re right,” Ana said. “Carry on.”

“It doesn’t end well for them,” Edwin said, his voice sad. He switched to ‘Red, Red, Rose’ by Robert Burns, Scottish accent and all. It was Ana’s favourite poem, and she coaxed him to sit back, and put her head on his chest to keep him still.

Haddie hummed through a verse or two of ‘How High the Moon’, and Hesper tickled her cheek with his antennae, and the wrestling was done, which was a relief. Wrestling was only fun in certain situations, and this was not one of them.

Edwin was partway through ‘Ozymandias’ when he came to a sudden stop and Hesper was certain he was going to find something to juggle with, but he just fell silent, and then, after nearly a minute, he said: “Is Miss Carter all right?”

“Yes, she is fine,” Ana said. “She and Agent Sousa are working together now.”

“I shouldn’t have fallen asleep,” Edwin said. “I left her with a very unsavoury character.”

Haddie was on her feet, and Hesper was off of them, hopping out of the way. She had some life in her eyes, and cocked her head as she looked at him, before saying, in worry: “I hope Ana got all her shopping done.”

“Yes, she did,” Hesper said.

“Oh, good,” Haddie said, and then turned to paw at Edwin’s legs.

“You didn’t fall asleep, you were drugged,” Ana told Edwin. “Not on purpose, I hope.”

“No, but it was very irresponsible of me,” Edwin said. He frowned down at Haddie, and tried to smooth her cowlick out. “I was trying to be helpful.”

“I’m sure you were very helpful, and all is well, because the man is in the boiler room being poisoned now,” Ana assured him.

“That sounds unpleasant,” Edwin said. He licked his fingers and tried once more with Haddie’s fur. “Perhaps I should bring down some tea.”

“I don’t want you carrying anything yet,” Ana said. She patted his knee. “But if you sit for a little longer, I will make you a cuppa, and then you can go play again.”

“It’s hardly playing, Ana, I’ve committed a felony,” Edwin said.

“You should stop doing that, Edwin,” Ana said. “It’s not very polite.”

“Yes, I know,” he said. “It’s become a very bad habit.”

Edwin felt the same about tea as Ana did about goulash, which was that it could cure most ails, and so Ana brought him a cup of strong, sweet tea with extra sugar to perk him up. It worked well; he was soon to rights, if still a little sleepy. Haddie’s fur was arranged to her satisfaction, after Edwin used a little brush to smooth it out.

“Thank you for looking after me, Anuska,” he said to Ana. “I’m sorry to be so troublesome of late.”

Ana straightened his tie for him. “You have always been troublesome, Edwin Jarvis,” she said. “Underneath all your tweed, you are a rebel at heart.”

Edwin chuckled. “Yes, that’s me,” he said. “Quite the revolutionary.”

Haddie nudged at Hesper, in the gentle way she always used with him, as though he were made of glass or something very precious, and she might break him with too much enthusiasm. Even when Edwin and Ana were in the throes of passion, she was so soft and sweet. Hesper tickled her until she smiled.

“When all this is over I intend to be a much more attentive husband,” Edwin said.

Ana kissed his neck, and Haddie’s eyes crossed for a moment. “I will look forward to it,” she said. “In the meantime, no more felonies, yes?”

“I will do my very best to break that habit.” Edwin gave Ana a long kiss that made Hesper’s eyes cross. “But I’m afraid I can’t make any promises.”

Edwin didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep, and always kept the ones he did make. Hesper admired that, but it was not reassuring. But, as Ana said, he had saved her--he had kept that promise--and now it was time to let him save others. That was the sort of bad habit Hesper hoped he would never break.