Extra layers.
This morning, there was teeny tiny hail falling in my front yard. It was too small to capture via picture, though perhaps video might've caught it well enough. Plinging little snowbuds hit the green leaves, my car, the hyacinths. I heard tell that there was thick snow, like one finds in winter, falling in Surrey and Delta (5-15 minutes from me). The last time I recall seeing snow in April was in winter 1997 in Minnesota. Those were good times - I mean, I was cold, but they were good times anyway.
I've actually spoken to Michael again (my first friend from the dorm at U MN). That was kinda awesome. He's two hours ahead of me so calling him now doesn't feel right, but I want to find the time to talk with him again and continue to catch up.
I wish I were not feeling so overwhelmed. It is healthy to let myself feel this but it's not comfortable. In the last number of years, I have not spent a lot of time that wasn't at work or on the commute to/from, on myself. I have not read a lot of books, I have not been consistent with exercise, I have not studied anything in depth, I have barely attended professional development opportunities. I have cooked new things, raised an almost-6 year old, maintained local friendships, kept in touch with my immediate family plus one aunt, and had a full-time job, a Hebrew school teaching gig, and become more involved with my synagogue than I ever imagined I would be.
Now: I work from home, in the study, calling students and attending Zoom meetings and remembering to eat and drink appropriately and not leave the "office" to see my family or play with my awesome kid. I make 2 lunches at lunchtime, and get to eat with my family, then "go" back to work. Hebrew school has shifted from being a 2.5 hr Sunday morning event, to which I bring Benito who is not in my class, to being a 30 minute Zoom session for Benito (where I should really be present to see what he's doing and make sure he doesn't ignore the conversation or play distractingly with whatever's in his reach) followed by a 30 minute Zoom session for my 3 students. After a 30 minute Zoom conversation with the Hebrew school teachers and our rabbi, it was decided that we're going to keep this format, not extend past our regular operating hours in order to give each class maybe 45 minutes, not buy a bigger Zoom capability so we can have two classes going at once. There are a few online things that are awesome, being used locally, that we are being told/encouraged to use - it's fine, the training is this coming Monday at 2 PM! Oh right, I work 8-4 and then am Mom and need to play with my kid and make dinner and facilitate bathtime and maybe spend time with my husband in the evening? But they record the training so I can access it whenever works for me.
By the by, there are free online classes on things like Happiness and Mental Health that my supervisory types at work are letting us know about - I guess I could watch/do/access those during work hours when I'm not dealing with students (phone call appointments and email questions), instructors (clarification on all sorts of things), or administration (forms to fill out, realize I can't use that form for this issue but must write a memo instead, and don't forget to sign it, except that there's a weird glitch where I can't even see what the student wrote on the form so I don't entirely know what I'm signing, oh wait I can see it if I look in preview mode, what the everloving fuck is going on with Adobe/Outlook?).
Plus, Passover starts NEXT WEEK. This year is not like other years, there will be a very different level of observance, and we are being told by clergy and Jewish leadership/organizations that we do not have to do EVERYTHING we do on other years. Chiefly, of course, there will be no congregating, no traveling to be with family, no morning services together. The larger "we" of Judaism gets to figure out how to make things work remotely, and there are ways. I told my sister I'd love to have a Zoom seder with our parents and us "core four" kids. She loved this, she ran with it, she might have told additional people, and it became a Large Family Zoom Gathering, now including an aunt in Israel, which is ridiculous for managing time. It was going to be strange getting my East Coast parents and my West Coast self and brother to be part of the same event; now there are more people and more time zones and are we entirely crazy? Luckily, my sister is active clergy and has all sorts of tools (including a paid Zoom account) and is facilitating the whole thing - for second seder. Including the aunt in Israel, it has to be second seder so she can join in without making the rest of us start our seder before the holiday starts! I restated my desire to have a core-family seder for 1st night, and we're going to make it happen.
I need to go unearth my Passover stuff from the loft. Before that, I should clean the hell out of the kitchen again. I should also go through my pantry and inventory and reorganize. We already have 2 boxes of matzah and some shredded coconut (I want to make my own macaroons this year). I want to at least get a few more things specifically for Pesach, probably at one or two specific locations in Vancouver proper. Honestly, it's not hard to do the cooking during Pesach, it's hard to do all the shopping you need to do, so you better have a meal plan ahead of time and buy accordingly.
Pesach planning usually starts 2-3 (or 8-10 sometimes) weeks before the holiday. That's about last week or the week before: pandemic paranoia time, when I did very little shopping. Right after Purim I had a professional development conference that was mostly cancelled: I attended the first night but the rest was scrapped. Immediately after, WFH happened, followed by crazy busy week and a half of adjusting and full advising schedule and wanting to be with my family and also take walks and get fresh air...
Tonight's options included making jewelry - oh, I made a necklace and earrings on my mod day, it was awesome and didn't take long because the pieces I wanted to use as focal points there already combined, ready to be made - or dealing with the pantry, which would involve being in the kitchen which just makes me want to do dishes and then clean the counters and then maybe deal with the back table there... so I played ~40 minutes of Dominion online and then realized I wanted to write. That about catches us up.
Good things:
- I washed my hair today
- I played Lego's Pirates of the Carribean with Benito
- I made a tasty soup in the Instant Pot, though it didn't taste quite how I wanted
- My kid is full of hugs and silliness and laughter
- No trouble sleeping.
Okay, tired now. Totally crashing on the couch until Rick calls it a night (he's playing an online game with a bunch of friends, Rainbow 6, and I have no desire to watch him or play it myself), then move over to our bed. I do not want to believe that we might need to continue with self-isolation for another few months, or even over a year? I await word on that.
I'm out. Good luck, and good night.
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/731677.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I've actually spoken to Michael again (my first friend from the dorm at U MN). That was kinda awesome. He's two hours ahead of me so calling him now doesn't feel right, but I want to find the time to talk with him again and continue to catch up.
I wish I were not feeling so overwhelmed. It is healthy to let myself feel this but it's not comfortable. In the last number of years, I have not spent a lot of time that wasn't at work or on the commute to/from, on myself. I have not read a lot of books, I have not been consistent with exercise, I have not studied anything in depth, I have barely attended professional development opportunities. I have cooked new things, raised an almost-6 year old, maintained local friendships, kept in touch with my immediate family plus one aunt, and had a full-time job, a Hebrew school teaching gig, and become more involved with my synagogue than I ever imagined I would be.
Now: I work from home, in the study, calling students and attending Zoom meetings and remembering to eat and drink appropriately and not leave the "office" to see my family or play with my awesome kid. I make 2 lunches at lunchtime, and get to eat with my family, then "go" back to work. Hebrew school has shifted from being a 2.5 hr Sunday morning event, to which I bring Benito who is not in my class, to being a 30 minute Zoom session for Benito (where I should really be present to see what he's doing and make sure he doesn't ignore the conversation or play distractingly with whatever's in his reach) followed by a 30 minute Zoom session for my 3 students. After a 30 minute Zoom conversation with the Hebrew school teachers and our rabbi, it was decided that we're going to keep this format, not extend past our regular operating hours in order to give each class maybe 45 minutes, not buy a bigger Zoom capability so we can have two classes going at once. There are a few online things that are awesome, being used locally, that we are being told/encouraged to use - it's fine, the training is this coming Monday at 2 PM! Oh right, I work 8-4 and then am Mom and need to play with my kid and make dinner and facilitate bathtime and maybe spend time with my husband in the evening? But they record the training so I can access it whenever works for me.
By the by, there are free online classes on things like Happiness and Mental Health that my supervisory types at work are letting us know about - I guess I could watch/do/access those during work hours when I'm not dealing with students (phone call appointments and email questions), instructors (clarification on all sorts of things), or administration (forms to fill out, realize I can't use that form for this issue but must write a memo instead, and don't forget to sign it, except that there's a weird glitch where I can't even see what the student wrote on the form so I don't entirely know what I'm signing, oh wait I can see it if I look in preview mode, what the everloving fuck is going on with Adobe/Outlook?).
Plus, Passover starts NEXT WEEK. This year is not like other years, there will be a very different level of observance, and we are being told by clergy and Jewish leadership/organizations that we do not have to do EVERYTHING we do on other years. Chiefly, of course, there will be no congregating, no traveling to be with family, no morning services together. The larger "we" of Judaism gets to figure out how to make things work remotely, and there are ways. I told my sister I'd love to have a Zoom seder with our parents and us "core four" kids. She loved this, she ran with it, she might have told additional people, and it became a Large Family Zoom Gathering, now including an aunt in Israel, which is ridiculous for managing time. It was going to be strange getting my East Coast parents and my West Coast self and brother to be part of the same event; now there are more people and more time zones and are we entirely crazy? Luckily, my sister is active clergy and has all sorts of tools (including a paid Zoom account) and is facilitating the whole thing - for second seder. Including the aunt in Israel, it has to be second seder so she can join in without making the rest of us start our seder before the holiday starts! I restated my desire to have a core-family seder for 1st night, and we're going to make it happen.
I need to go unearth my Passover stuff from the loft. Before that, I should clean the hell out of the kitchen again. I should also go through my pantry and inventory and reorganize. We already have 2 boxes of matzah and some shredded coconut (I want to make my own macaroons this year). I want to at least get a few more things specifically for Pesach, probably at one or two specific locations in Vancouver proper. Honestly, it's not hard to do the cooking during Pesach, it's hard to do all the shopping you need to do, so you better have a meal plan ahead of time and buy accordingly.
Pesach planning usually starts 2-3 (or 8-10 sometimes) weeks before the holiday. That's about last week or the week before: pandemic paranoia time, when I did very little shopping. Right after Purim I had a professional development conference that was mostly cancelled: I attended the first night but the rest was scrapped. Immediately after, WFH happened, followed by crazy busy week and a half of adjusting and full advising schedule and wanting to be with my family and also take walks and get fresh air...
Tonight's options included making jewelry - oh, I made a necklace and earrings on my mod day, it was awesome and didn't take long because the pieces I wanted to use as focal points there already combined, ready to be made - or dealing with the pantry, which would involve being in the kitchen which just makes me want to do dishes and then clean the counters and then maybe deal with the back table there... so I played ~40 minutes of Dominion online and then realized I wanted to write. That about catches us up.
Good things:
- I washed my hair today
- I played Lego's Pirates of the Carribean with Benito
- I made a tasty soup in the Instant Pot, though it didn't taste quite how I wanted
- My kid is full of hugs and silliness and laughter
- No trouble sleeping.
Okay, tired now. Totally crashing on the couch until Rick calls it a night (he's playing an online game with a bunch of friends, Rainbow 6, and I have no desire to watch him or play it myself), then move over to our bed. I do not want to believe that we might need to continue with self-isolation for another few months, or even over a year? I await word on that.
I'm out. Good luck, and good night.
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/731677.html. Please comment there using OpenID.