Getting Rid of Excess Garbage...
After two weeks of not being actually really seen on the internet, I slowly poke my head out of the darkness to take a deep breath and to show that, yes, for those of you who are truly sensitive to this kind of stuff, Chris is the greatest black hole he has been in a damn long time.
I feel like I'm getting sucked into this dark nothingness and I'm trying my damnedest to claw my way out back into the light. It's sort of like something has got a hold of both of my ankles and its pulling me down into the darkness. I wonder if that darkness has something to do with just plain old damn reality. Maybe if I just realized and came face to face with the fact that I'm no different than any other schmuck on the face of this planet and that all I have to do is just give up and everything will be just fine and dandy.
I'm truly tried of struggling in everything. Do I feel like I'm causing my own problems? I really wish I could just get out of first gear and understand that if I could get out of my own way, things would be so much better. If I could only get my mind to go along with whatever my unconscious spirit is telling me things would be so much easier. But it's already hard enough just to keep my own sanity, let alone have that lovely unconscious mind sitting there waiting for me to open that door... God, that fucking frightens me to no end what is beyond that door. You truly have no idea unless you have actually been inside of my mind.
I am beginning to feel like a Labrador Retriever... or man's best friend. When you need me, I'll be sitting right beside you waiting to get your slippers or to help you or anything else you might need. But when you don't need me or don't even have the time to talk to me, I'm really not there even though I'm keeping an eye on you making sure that things don't do a number when you're not looking. Why do I feel like I'm the fucking dog next door... faithful friend but please mind not to shit on the couch... otherwise, you'd fuck up the normal stable reality that you've created...
ARGH!!!!!
Let the entire world go fuck itself in the brains...
I've fucking had it...
I feel like I'm getting sucked into this dark nothingness and I'm trying my damnedest to claw my way out back into the light. It's sort of like something has got a hold of both of my ankles and its pulling me down into the darkness. I wonder if that darkness has something to do with just plain old damn reality. Maybe if I just realized and came face to face with the fact that I'm no different than any other schmuck on the face of this planet and that all I have to do is just give up and everything will be just fine and dandy.
I'm truly tried of struggling in everything. Do I feel like I'm causing my own problems? I really wish I could just get out of first gear and understand that if I could get out of my own way, things would be so much better. If I could only get my mind to go along with whatever my unconscious spirit is telling me things would be so much easier. But it's already hard enough just to keep my own sanity, let alone have that lovely unconscious mind sitting there waiting for me to open that door... God, that fucking frightens me to no end what is beyond that door. You truly have no idea unless you have actually been inside of my mind.
I am beginning to feel like a Labrador Retriever... or man's best friend. When you need me, I'll be sitting right beside you waiting to get your slippers or to help you or anything else you might need. But when you don't need me or don't even have the time to talk to me, I'm really not there even though I'm keeping an eye on you making sure that things don't do a number when you're not looking. Why do I feel like I'm the fucking dog next door... faithful friend but please mind not to shit on the couch... otherwise, you'd fuck up the normal stable reality that you've created...
ARGH!!!!!
Let the entire world go fuck itself in the brains...
I've fucking had it...