Stupid subject line.
I haven't had one of these days in a while. You know, one of those days where everything seems to not necessarily go wrong, but not necessarily go well, either. One of those days where you just say "whatever" to the world, but keep on plugging just the same. One of those days where you just want to quit, throw it all away, and get the hell out of wherever you are. Yeah. That's where I am. Don't know why. Maybe it's all just been building up. Who knows.
Some of it's work, to be sure. Right now, I just feel like the bearer of bad news, always in the middle of everything yet knowing nothing of what's really going on. I feel, as I seem to every few months at this job, that no matter what I try to do to stay on top of things or to just get through a day is wrong, and that I'm a disappointment. So I just keep on slogging through, when in reality all I want to do is tell most of the people I talk to on the phone every day and/or on a regular basis to go to hell and leave me alone. I know it's not nearly as bad as most of my friends' jobs, and that I probably have it pretty easy comparitavely. But I'm finding it harder and harder to go in and have a positive attitude about it all.
I'm obviously more stressed out than I realise. Problem is, most of the time, it doesn't feel like I am. It's like I get these bursts of OMG LEAVE ME ALONE and then in a snap, they're gone again. Between the overeating, the nightmares, the overseriousness, and other things, I must be more stressed than I understand. Don't know how to fix that in the next few months, though.
I'm going back to the gym today after not going for about two weeks or more. Now that I'm no longer sick, I have no excuse to not go. And, what with my dress fitting tight enough to make it difficult to breathe, it's more imperative to lose even a little than ever, at least in my mind. The gym will help, I'm sure. It usually does.
Some of it's work, to be sure. Right now, I just feel like the bearer of bad news, always in the middle of everything yet knowing nothing of what's really going on. I feel, as I seem to every few months at this job, that no matter what I try to do to stay on top of things or to just get through a day is wrong, and that I'm a disappointment. So I just keep on slogging through, when in reality all I want to do is tell most of the people I talk to on the phone every day and/or on a regular basis to go to hell and leave me alone. I know it's not nearly as bad as most of my friends' jobs, and that I probably have it pretty easy comparitavely. But I'm finding it harder and harder to go in and have a positive attitude about it all.
I'm obviously more stressed out than I realise. Problem is, most of the time, it doesn't feel like I am. It's like I get these bursts of OMG LEAVE ME ALONE and then in a snap, they're gone again. Between the overeating, the nightmares, the overseriousness, and other things, I must be more stressed than I understand. Don't know how to fix that in the next few months, though.
I'm going back to the gym today after not going for about two weeks or more. Now that I'm no longer sick, I have no excuse to not go. And, what with my dress fitting tight enough to make it difficult to breathe, it's more imperative to lose even a little than ever, at least in my mind. The gym will help, I'm sure. It usually does.