Character Depreciation over the years.
So I've been thinking lately, with addition to clicking around past entries and whatnot. I never realized how good I have it with friends and how shitty I am about reciprocating their kindness even one-third of the time. I am so tied up in my own nonsense to really see that my friends might be in need someone to talk to. What happens? I turn the subject around to me somehow and the time frame is spent on talking about my dilemma of the moment. I really am a crummy friend. To everyone who's stuck around for this long, thank you. From the bottom of my existence, just thank you. Yeah, I know, here's another entry where John discovers something, but will he apply it? I suppose it's another one of those situations where you can apply it but to live by it and allow the change is the hard part. Living by the same mold you have for decades of your life is hard to break. But if it leads to becoming a better person, then bring it on.
What's even funnier and even more pathetic than me being a horrible friend is being a horrible person to like, romantically. Yeah, the way I feel about that entire subject is so tunnel visioned it's ridiculous. I really have to admit that I am an unbearable twat when it comes to the subject of someone liking me. I grow so concerned about doing things "right" that I become someone I'm not and then I start thinking of the "rules" and that's where everything goes downhill. Ridiculous, I know. I guess another thing to chalk up on "John's List to change in hopes of becoming a better person." Honestly, I don't think I'm quite ready for the idea of a relationship, at least I don't think I should be ready for a few years. I don't even think all the years prior to today-- I wasn't ready any of those times either. But when do you know? Know what really takes the cake? I pride myself with being the type that just is out there and doesn't hold anything back, but with this subject, I become a deeply closed off person in hopes of not "scaring them off." Ridiculous.
And yes.. I'm listening to the Muse song because it was in Twilight. Sue me! It's a good song and at least I'm listening to Muse. If it wasn't for the movie I don't think I would have listened to the song. I tired of people going "UGHHHH that movie!!" it's not horrible, but it isn't all that great either. I guess it's the fandom people are sick of. So be sick of the fandom-- don't get on me because I enjoyed watching the movie and like to listen to the Muse song from the movie. I do agree that the scene it was in was stupid, though. When is John Pham credited for knowing great movies though? Exactly. So this goes up there with my likings for High School Musicals, Harry Potters and other various Disney movies.
Well.. an entry of self-depreciation and Twilight.. exhilarating. In all honesty though, all I got is school to really keep my mind occupied and even that is boring to type about. Well, I do go out often, but I think I lost the gene to be able to type about every excruciating detail about what I did over the weekend a long time ago.. so much for that. =p So entries like this and YouTube entries is what I got to offer. Sorry guys. Anyway, I'll hopefully update with something more interesting next time.
-John.
What's even funnier and even more pathetic than me being a horrible friend is being a horrible person to like, romantically. Yeah, the way I feel about that entire subject is so tunnel visioned it's ridiculous. I really have to admit that I am an unbearable twat when it comes to the subject of someone liking me. I grow so concerned about doing things "right" that I become someone I'm not and then I start thinking of the "rules" and that's where everything goes downhill. Ridiculous, I know. I guess another thing to chalk up on "John's List to change in hopes of becoming a better person." Honestly, I don't think I'm quite ready for the idea of a relationship, at least I don't think I should be ready for a few years. I don't even think all the years prior to today-- I wasn't ready any of those times either. But when do you know? Know what really takes the cake? I pride myself with being the type that just is out there and doesn't hold anything back, but with this subject, I become a deeply closed off person in hopes of not "scaring them off." Ridiculous.
And yes.. I'm listening to the Muse song because it was in Twilight. Sue me! It's a good song and at least I'm listening to Muse. If it wasn't for the movie I don't think I would have listened to the song. I tired of people going "UGHHHH that movie!!" it's not horrible, but it isn't all that great either. I guess it's the fandom people are sick of. So be sick of the fandom-- don't get on me because I enjoyed watching the movie and like to listen to the Muse song from the movie. I do agree that the scene it was in was stupid, though. When is John Pham credited for knowing great movies though? Exactly. So this goes up there with my likings for High School Musicals, Harry Potters and other various Disney movies.
Well.. an entry of self-depreciation and Twilight.. exhilarating. In all honesty though, all I got is school to really keep my mind occupied and even that is boring to type about. Well, I do go out often, but I think I lost the gene to be able to type about every excruciating detail about what I did over the weekend a long time ago.. so much for that. =p So entries like this and YouTube entries is what I got to offer. Sorry guys. Anyway, I'll hopefully update with something more interesting next time.
-John.