Bleh

[avball]

I'm having a rough time right now. That same calling I felt that brought me to enlist in the first place hasn't died out, nor has my personal shame that I was issued a challenge to be a Recon Marine and fled from it. On the other hand, if I can get surgery/rehab/whatever it takes to get back, I will be most likely be deployed to war at least twice

Comments

[thefrank]

Dude, I'm only Army National Guard and I'm experiencing a small portion of what you're feeling. Would it be possible to go back as a generic Marine MOS without having to latch on to the Recon MOS? Anything to get that monkey off your back IMHO. I'm trying to go back to school and have volunteered (and been turned down) for two deployments. I feel dishonored sitting on my *ss while others are in the fight.

[avball]

I think after being selected for Recon, I may not be satisfied without giving it another go at the full Monty.

As for your situation, I understand how you feel, but hell man, you volunteered twice... maybe with this next surge they'll send you. If they do, train your ass of during the work up, remember your training and keep your head down.

Maybe if I hadn't been dropped from my unit's deployment roster at the last minute, I'd feel a little differently, but at the moment, yeah, I'm thinking I need to get back into RIP and go all the way. Besides, the better training I get before going in country, the better chance I have at coming back in one piece.

[avball]

Thinking for about twenty seconds further on it... I think you might be feeling very nearly exactly what I'm feeling. It sucks having volunteered and knowing that other people are in the fight while we sit back here wondering... knowing we would have made a difference, but wondering how much. Lots of guilt... I think it would be hard to explain to somebody not in the same boots.

[panamapapa]

Dishonored??? Regardless of what you do in the Guard, you ARE supporting the mission. Witout you and 1000's of others like you, those who are in the sh*t, would not be able to what they do. Be proud of it. But, also be prepared for the oders that could be dropped in your lap at any moment. Train, learn and prepare for it like you know it will happen tomorrow.

Thank you for your service.
PapaPanama

[thefrank]

Papa - That's my failing...wanting to do more and not be a shirker. I have everyting but my bare essentials packed. I could deploy in 48 hours if need be. Thanks for the good advice.