Happiness is a Spiritual Quality
Happiness isn’t the absence of pain; Happiness isn’t the absence of uneven experience. Happiness isn’t necessarily a nice house, money in the bank and food on the table. In short happiness has nothing to do with the message of the Western world’s corporate conglomerates who sell us hope in the form of unbridled consumerism, a message reinforced by the media and supported by the government. Happiness is…and here you will need to fill in the blank because I don’t have a definition that will suit everyone.
Happiness is a state of being. It is both spiritual and worthy. The problem with happiness is how we view it personally and as a culture. Happiness can be found amidst “suffering” and self-sacrifice. Happiness…and I will say it again…is a state of being.
The key to understanding happiness may very well be in the axiom, “pain is inevitable, suffering optional.” We all experience pain in life…it is inevitable given the transitory nature of duality. We will lose loved ones to death, we will fall sick, lose jobs, and experience economic hardship and others. In extreme cases we may experience violence against ourselves in the form of rape and assault and in some places in the world political and religious oppression. These are all examples of pain. Suffering, however, is what we do with it in our minds. Suffering comes from cogitating on it endlessly. We suffer when we grab onto the experience and refuse to let it go. We develop the martyr’s “woe is me” attitude that comes from our obsessive attachment to the painful event.
Buddhists teach non-attachment. Christians say, “Let go and let God” and New Thought Practitioners tell us to release it into the universe and acknowledge that it is working toward are “highest and greatest good.” Each of these is essentially saying the same thing…let it go…let it go…let it go. Nothing good comes from misery.
Spiritual people look at the modern concept of happiness that is put forth by the media and the corporations that have some product or service to sell us and immediately eschew the notion that “happiness is worthy. In fact the very idea of pursuing happiness makes many of us cringe. But nothing can be farther from the truth.
For many years now researches in fields such as medicine and psychology have theorized that “happy” people live longer, healthier lives and are generally more fulfilled then the their less happy counterparts.
Happiness, as I am beginning to understand it, lies in achieving balance in my life between all the things that need attention. I think many of us can agree that achieving balance is in some way part and parcel of being a spiritual person.
Unfortunately we need to overcome the Calvinist underpinning in our culture that extols suffering and sacrifice that is part of our American Consciousness. Even though we are a long way from the Puritans who set up the first colonies we are still bewitched by their notions. We just don’t always know it.
Self-sacrifice is a good virtue but it needs to lead somewhere. Self-sacrifice for the sake of wallowing in misery is the way of the martyr and not necessarily the way of the spiritually healthy individual. To sacrifice of ones self implies that you are giving something up and as an act of giving it is wise to take St. Paul’s admonition to give willingly and cheerfully to heart. When we are compelled to give something of ourselves then let’s do it in such a way that others benefit. If we are sacrificing simply to gain the attention of others than it is bankrupt to begin with and should be abandoned immediately.
In writing this essay I find myself thinking about the so-called simplicity movement of the late 80’s and early 90’s. Many men and women quit their power jobs and abandoned climbing the career ladder so they could focus on things that were most important to them. Many found that they could live happily with less and spend more quality time with their family. Some took large pay cuts and focused their energies working becoming more socially and environmentally conscious.
We must decide what it is we need to be happy. The answers are probably much simpler than we realize. Many of us seem to be looking for the elusive holy grail of happiness in the wrong places.
One of the happiest periods of my life came during a time of poverty when I had to take up residence in a pay by the week motel. The place was a dive but it allowed me to focus on the things that were important, friends, social causes and my spiritual life.
Happiness for me was sitting for hours at a coffee shop reading, scribbling in my journal and talking with my friends. I made a lot of great friends during that time and their gift to me helped me to grow more deeply as a human being. Happiness is being involved in a social cause that benefits other people. Happiness is working toward justice. Happiness is being challenged to my core when someone whose opinions differ from mine dialogues with me. Happiness comes in accepting that I have been told to “shut up” when I become overbearing in my attitude or too self-righteous in my opinions.
Happiness in my case has very little to do with owning anything. However, I do desire a nice home and a few of the creature comforts that come along with maintaining a home. Happiness comes in enjoying good food and watching television. Happiness is going to the movies with Sidran or going to see a play.
Life is a gift and one that we would do well to avail ourselves of. We can enjoy what it has to offer and still be good stewards of our blessings. Happiness is reaching out and helping another person regain their ground and stand firmly on steady feet. Happiness is taking pride in your achievements.
While I believe we need to be very careful when turning our attention toward material things we don’t need to completely disregard them either. Even Mystics have to pay bills as one book title informs us. The tragedy comes in our attachment to them.
It’s the attachment to things that kills us. When stewardship and enjoyment turn to possessiveness and acquisitiveness then we have steered down the wrong path. That is why so many of the spiritual giants we admire such as St. Francis of Assisi, Mother Teresa, The Buddha to name just a few have chosen lives of poverty.
But bear in mind their poverty was voluntary. It was about a life free from the hassle of possessions, possessions that would have drowned out the deeper spiritual cry that was bubbling up from their heart. Their expression of poverty was not about the misery and squalor that so many people live in even today.
There is no dignity in poverty and indeed we can make a strong argument that poverty creates more violence and crime then not. Extreme poverty can be breeding ground for diseases as those who live among it live in appalling squalor and lack the most basic health care and nutrion needed to maintain good health.
So while others may answer a deeper spiritual call to poverty let’s remember that they also often choose to dwell among those whose lives would turn our stomachs. They do that so that they might help alleviate that suffering.
We do not all receive this call and I believe it with divine intention. Poor people cannot lead other poor people out of poverty. That comes with the generosity and good stewardship of those that have more. Our blessings are not just for us alone. They are given to us that we may share them with others. We live in a time and a country where spiritual people no longer leave medicant lives seeking alms from passerby and in villages. In fact in many places “pan handling” can get you arrested. But that is okay. I don’t think we need to live the life of a wandering friar or renunianct to be deeply spiritual. Owning things and even wanting to own things does not necessarily imply you are a shallow person. We live in an odd time where the media tells us we are nothing and worthless if we don’t wear certain clothes, drive certain cars and attend certain clubs while at the same time our deeper collective conscious tells us we are nothing and worthless if we pursue those things. That is probably always been the struggle for the spiritual minded person.
So what does this have to do with happiness? Maybe nothing except to say that desiring material wellbeing as part of seeking happiness is not necessarily a bad thing…it’s about attitude.
Spiritual people could resolve a lot of their misgivings about money and other material things simply by turning their hearts toward stewardship and generosity. Once again poor people cannot lead poor people out of poverty. It requires the generous and just stewardship of those who have more. You can’t change the world in big ways…only little ways…the mechanisms at work are often too large for us. Even in en masse we will run into conflict. But that conflict can be resolved internally. It’s the little things we do that make the biggest difference. So get busy doing the “little things” that you can do to make your corner of the world a better place. If enough of us do that over time we will see big change. Nothing else will work. If there was a philosophy, religion, economic system or political ideology that had all the answers it would have happened by now. True change starts with us. Only we can change the world and we can only do that standing where we are.
As to the true nature of happiness…well…I haven’t had much to say about that have I? Mostly because it is a state of being and it comes from within us much like all other spiritual qualities. Happiness is an expression of the fully realized spirit within us. Some people are naturally lighter of heart and more happy then others and it doesn’t always equate that they live lives free from want, poverty or loss and travail. Happiness is an inner quality…its part of their spiritual DNA. Happy people are happy despite their circumstances not because of them.
We see the world from the eyes of our heart. The qualities that make us spiritually who we are color how we see things. We actually see things the way we want to see them. We generally and what we are looking for. If we look out in the world and see only despair and misery then we are missing the larger picture. Just as those who see only the good often blind themselves to pain that others experience.
Happiness comes from engaging life right where you are. Happiness comes from giving but it also comes from being willing to receive the goodness life has to offer with open arms too. True Happiness may only come when you finally realize how big a role our minds play in creating the world we see. In my limited experience there seem to be two basic types of people, happy people and unhappy people. I find that it is extremely difficult to dissuade unhappy people who choose their unhappiness as way of life to view it any other way. Everything they see on the news and in their own lives reinforces their viewpoint. Those “unhappy” types who do desire to change their lives often get seduced by the current societal standards of happiness and the purveyors of those empty dreams that they miss the deeper spiritual issues at hand.
Perhaps all this talk of happiness is nothing more than brain chemistry. You are either wired for happiness or you are not. I surely hope not. Two things are for certain, we won’t become happy by sitting around wallowing in our depression and dreaming wistfully of “something better.” Happiness doesn’t come for those who just succumb to the present conditions of their life. Change is dynamic and it requires active participation. I caution you to not confuse succumbing to your present conditions with contentment, surrender or acceptance. These are spiritual qualities that often get misappropriated by people who don’t have the will to change or desire to change. It is wise to understand acceptance of things you can’t change and learning to surrender to a higher spiritual power but that is not an excuse to sit on your butt either. Life is to be fully engaged in it.
Finally upon deeper consideration we may come to realize that happiness is a spiritual quality that must be brought forth from within…a quality that can transform our lives and even override brain chemistry in some cases. Happiness maybe as simple as decision even if the practical application may be difficult for some it still starts with deciding for a better way.
I know how difficult happiness can be. I am not a naturally happy person. Some days it takes all I have to fight against the depression that plagues me. But I do fight…most days anyway. I know it can be done. I know first hand how difficult it can be. So I am not being glib. I am, however, talking from first hand experience. There is nothing wrong neither about happiness nor in the pursuit of it. This does not make us selfish and blind to the plights of others. By improving the quality of my life I will be better able to help improve the quality of others.