The Committee Deals with Fraud & Other Business
The committee is in a lock down, closed session panic ever since it was discovered that my debit card had been compromised. I have been trying to calm everyone down since lunch but everything is still abuzz. It could have been much worse. Fortunately Key Bank caught them and blocked the card long before the problem became Hurricane Katrina tragic. I only lost $230.00 which I will get back.
It really isn’t the money. It’s the principal of the matter. I have been violated and I don’t like being violated.
“Let’s whack ‘em,” The Hit Man declared.
“We don’t even know who it is,” I said, “All we know is the asshole is in Florida somewhere.”
“Well, let’s find out who they are and then we can whack ‘em.”
Socrates sadly shook his head while tsk, tsking the Hit Man, “Visiting violence on your enemies never solves any problems. Just look at the Middle East.’
The Hit Man, not in the mood for sage advice, leapt from his chair and flew across the room cornering Socrates in the corner. Before the old sage could offer a protest the Hit Man drove his knee in the old man’s nuts sending him crumpling to the floor.
The Hit Man cracked his knuckles and worked the kink out of his neck.
“I don’t know…I feel positively giddy.”
Socrates just moaned as he rocked back and forth on the floor in a fetal position his hands pressed firmly into his crotch as if that could stop the mind numbing pain.
I have to admit I could go either way on this one. This has always been one of my biggest fears and it has been realized. I am just now calming down myself and if the Hit Man’s suggestion had come sooner I would have grabbed the garden shears from the shed and headed toward Florida.
I once saw this movie where a hit man was giving a man 1 chance for ever finger he had. If he lied he lost a finger. That is where I got the idea from.
Fortunately my rent check cleared. I am not so certain that my phone bill or Comcast bill will. Hopefully the provisional credit I requested will make into my account tomorrow before the other two payments…3 actually…makes it to my account.
I hate debit cards and the internet. While they are convenient and make things easier in some ways to many merchants and financial institutions rely on it too heavily. These just make our lives more vulnerable. My Debit card never leaves my hands. Yet someone was still able to get access to the number and by the looks of the transactions emboss it on a card of their own.
Identity thefts can actually use devices to scan your card into and capture the information. They then use it to create a duplicate card. You have to be extremely careful who you hand your card over to. That’s why I never give it to anyone. I pay for just about everything in cash or by check. I pay for groceries with my debit card and my meds and the occasional ATM withdrawal.
If you are one of those chronic debit card users never let the person you hand it to walk out of your sight. You can always take your restaurant tab to the cashier rather than entrusting it to your server. It never pays to be too careful.
Mary Magdalene has been online all day ordering credit reports. It was decided that given the present situation checking our credit bureaus was a good idea. Everything looks good there at the moment. Although I really don’t trust these free annual credit reports. I may try ordering a second report later on to see just how more complete they really are.
Personally I think credit reports should always be free to the consumer at anytime as many times as they want to check it. These people collect information on you and they shouldn’t have the right to hoard it. Hell…it took an act of congress to give us the right to get at least one free report each year from the big 3 bureaus.
Note to self: write a letter to my congressmen suggesting he get right on this.
Mary Magdalene handed me a form folded in half.
“What’s this?”
“Note to self,” She says, “You may want to register to vote before you write your congressman.”
“Good point!”
I feel my face flush.
I have only been meaning to register to vote for the past year just like I have meaning to actually get a Colorado State ID too. Fortunately I don’t need the ID to register to vote, just the last 4 digits of my social. This is how the illegal immigrants have been registering to vote…big scandal.
The room was quieting down…finally.
Suddenly, Chicken Little came screeching into the room. Erupting…more like it.
“Cluck! We’re doomed! We’re going to be evicted. We’re going to be penniless…”
Before she had a chance to circle the room a second time the Hit Man reached out and grabbed her by the neck.
“Clurrgglll,” was all she managed to get out as she hung limply in his hands.
Now things had finally quieted down.
“We have two points of business to clear up,” I said, “The first is we are finally going to get that prepaid VISA card we have been talking about.”
I had been thinking of getting one just to prevent what happened from happening. I figure this way if someone compromises the number they only get what’s loaded on to the card and my bank accounts are protected. The particular card I have been looking at only has a $9.95 yearly fee and no per transaction costs. It seems a small price to pay for an extra layer of protection.
I have a detailed budget and I know what I spend per week on various things. I would only need to load it up with that amount each week.
Everyone was nodding in agreement except Chicken Little who had started to turn blue. I cleared my throat and when the Hit Man looked up I nodded in the direction of the hand that had hold of our resident worry wart.
“Oh,” he said as he relaxed his grip. Chicken Little hit the floor with a little “chickeny” thud but otherwise none the worse for wear.
With the matter of the prepaid debit cared out of the way that left only one other item on the table…Br. Ezra P. Miracle’s Armageddon Clock. The only problem is there was no clock and no Br. Ezra.
I was starting to worry that I may have to slap a big bold “to be continued” sign across this meeting which I don’t want to do. It’s difficult to get everyone together on a good day. After the events of this afternoon I was pretty sure everyone would be running for the hills.
Just then the door slammed open and Br. Ezra came through wheeling a mysterious black box on a hand truck. He wheeled it up to the podium and turned toward us grinning…