gobsmacked.
I'm an idiot.
I've gone and become gobsmacked smitten.
Idiot.
It's nice to have a man discuss things other than sex for once. It's very refreshing, and wonderful to be liked and viewed for something other than private parts and boobs.
But it's also frustrating how slow everything is going.
I have no doubt he's probably sleeping right now. Idk know how he did it, but he worked one job from 7-3:30 and worked a second from 5-10 yesterday. And probably didn't get to bed till midnight or so.
And yet, took time out of his busy schedule to text me.
And that really made me feel special. Wanted. Needed.
P makes a point of including me in his day... telling me his schedule, telling me good morning and good night.
But still calls me "friend".
And I have a feeling he likes me more than what he's letting on, but I'm not going to push him. I've made that mistake before, with C. And...P and I genuinely have a lot in common.
Plus...I feel like he actually understands me, where no one else has, and makes a point of letting me know in subtle ways.
It took me a minute, to understand his "language", and the way he speaks. But, I got it.
Meanwhile, Roy still can't figure out why I don't want to be married to him anymore. Can't figure out why I don't want to hang out with him anymore.
I've changed. I've grown. And he refuses to grow with me. I can't sit around being stagnant, being ignorant. He refused to do anything I asked of him.
Now he's trying to control me. And he's getting mad that it's not working.
I'm scared that he's going to physically become violent against me and Axl.
I've gone and become gobsmacked smitten.
Idiot.
It's nice to have a man discuss things other than sex for once. It's very refreshing, and wonderful to be liked and viewed for something other than private parts and boobs.
But it's also frustrating how slow everything is going.
I have no doubt he's probably sleeping right now. Idk know how he did it, but he worked one job from 7-3:30 and worked a second from 5-10 yesterday. And probably didn't get to bed till midnight or so.
And yet, took time out of his busy schedule to text me.
And that really made me feel special. Wanted. Needed.
P makes a point of including me in his day... telling me his schedule, telling me good morning and good night.
But still calls me "friend".
And I have a feeling he likes me more than what he's letting on, but I'm not going to push him. I've made that mistake before, with C. And...P and I genuinely have a lot in common.
Plus...I feel like he actually understands me, where no one else has, and makes a point of letting me know in subtle ways.
It took me a minute, to understand his "language", and the way he speaks. But, I got it.
Meanwhile, Roy still can't figure out why I don't want to be married to him anymore. Can't figure out why I don't want to hang out with him anymore.
I've changed. I've grown. And he refuses to grow with me. I can't sit around being stagnant, being ignorant. He refused to do anything I asked of him.
Now he's trying to control me. And he's getting mad that it's not working.
I'm scared that he's going to physically become violent against me and Axl.