realization.
Today we had a wonderful message from the book of Esther. The lady giving it was one of our youth group coordinators. She did awesome.
Today's message made me realize that, unfortunately, my marriage with Roy is never going to get any better. He flat refuses to realize he doesn't need any help. Flat refuses to realize he's the naristic one in our relationship. Flat refuses to realize that he is constantly coming up with ways to spend his money on things that we can't afford- like, for example, last night he wanted to buy a vape.
But I need a haircut. And have, for quite some time.
He keeps making suggestions for going to the gym together. Keeps hinting things will be better when the girls get back.
Nope. We'll be ok financially. But still miserable, as it always ends up him flipping out on me for one reason or another. For example, I told him Friday that I didn't want to go camping. I already had plans. But yet I was the selfish one who didn't want to make family time.
(Um. It has rained for most of the weekend, and that was also in the forecast. I knew I was going to have a flare up at some point. Which I did, yesterday. With Axl going through a growth spurt.)
He threw a fit. He told me pack my stuff, get out.
It was then, I full realized, nothing was ever going to change. So I calmly told him I would do as he asked. I started packing with my heart full of hurt. It was then I vowed I wasn't going to let anyone ever hurt me again.
I was going to take a chance, and talk to P today. But I didn't. Instead, I'm working on starting a FB for my Bible study group. I'm working on me. I'm taking care of me, and my son.
And, well, if Roy wants to talk to me with respect...
I suppose I'll try.
But I'm pretty much done, and in my heart, I'm single and not looking. And I will be for a long time.
Today's message made me realize that, unfortunately, my marriage with Roy is never going to get any better. He flat refuses to realize he doesn't need any help. Flat refuses to realize he's the naristic one in our relationship. Flat refuses to realize that he is constantly coming up with ways to spend his money on things that we can't afford- like, for example, last night he wanted to buy a vape.
But I need a haircut. And have, for quite some time.
He keeps making suggestions for going to the gym together. Keeps hinting things will be better when the girls get back.
Nope. We'll be ok financially. But still miserable, as it always ends up him flipping out on me for one reason or another. For example, I told him Friday that I didn't want to go camping. I already had plans. But yet I was the selfish one who didn't want to make family time.
(Um. It has rained for most of the weekend, and that was also in the forecast. I knew I was going to have a flare up at some point. Which I did, yesterday. With Axl going through a growth spurt.)
He threw a fit. He told me pack my stuff, get out.
It was then, I full realized, nothing was ever going to change. So I calmly told him I would do as he asked. I started packing with my heart full of hurt. It was then I vowed I wasn't going to let anyone ever hurt me again.
I was going to take a chance, and talk to P today. But I didn't. Instead, I'm working on starting a FB for my Bible study group. I'm working on me. I'm taking care of me, and my son.
And, well, if Roy wants to talk to me with respect...
I suppose I'll try.
But I'm pretty much done, and in my heart, I'm single and not looking. And I will be for a long time.