Revenge of Mr. Roboto (1/1)
Title: Revenge of Mr. Roboto
Author: Avaritia_90
Spoilers: Paradigms of Human Memory
Word Count: 2630
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Community
Summary: Ficcy Friday request from nicodemusfleur with the prompt of a fic expanding on the Robot clip. I hope I did it any sort of justice and that's it's not too corny at the end.
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He's gone too far, too far and there isn't time to fix it.
Pierce is frozen in time, horrified of what his own madness and money has created this time.
It wasn't suppose to like this, when he was planning, when he was thinking of revenge against Abed and Troy, for kicking him out of their Talent Show group. He had been furious, outraged that they didn't think his sexy hot dog dance to a parody of Madonna's song wasn't good enough.
Troy set his books down, "Yeaaaah, we decided," he looked to Abed, "-that dressing up like Hot Dogs and singing a parody of Madonna's song wasn't really the creative direction we wanted to go in."
It didn't matter to them that Like a Hot Dog Grilled for the Very First Time had won him countless awards and shows in the past. All they cared about was their stupid robot, and it's stupid ability to dance. They didn't care that it was totally streets behind, hadn't the Japanese been there and made porn about that?
They also didn't care that they had thrown him out of their group without a second thought.
Abed spoke up, "We wanted to be original and do our own thing."
He knows now he was irrationally angry, he knows not a whole lot of good comes around when he is, but he was.
He also had an evil genius plan, loads of money and the knowledge that the Western Sean Connery of Greendale's Science Program had a gambling problem.
It probably was wrong of him to mess with their stupid dancing robot, Boob-A-Tron 5000.
It probably was wrong of him to force Western Sean Connery to re-program it to roughly molest anything with a rack bigger than an A-cup.
It also probably didn't help that he wanted lasers in it's eyes.
"-but sir, lasers?"
"Shut up Country Sean Connery! I pay you to build me evil robots. Not tell me I can't put lasers in it's eyes."
At the time it had seemed only natural to do so, the icing on top of the crazy evil dancing robot cake. He had expected their show to be ruined, their robot sued for sexual harassment and them to lose the talent show. He had expected it to go all according to plan.
It had, up until the damn robot heard Rebecca Black's Friday song, the overly high pitched frequency caused it's complicated, delicate inner workings to go haywire. For it to malfunction, no longer trying to full fill it's simple mission of mild sexual harassment; but to rise up like everyone feared machines would one day do and maul and grope all in it's path.
Admittedly, he hadn't really cared. So what, it's just a stupid robot. Aren't they all just made up of tinfoil, spider webs and magic?
Then he remembered the lasers.
"RUN, EVERYONE RUN, THE BOOB-A-TRON HAS GONE MAD!"
beep beep BEEEEEP
"AAAHHHH"
beep beep BEEEEP
"POP POP! PO-Owww!"
The school had exploded into chaos, students and teaches alike running in fear. Ducking from lasers and dodging it's metal grip. It made it's way quickly out of the gym and into the halls, heading towards the library with speed and determination. Abed, Troy and Pierce chased after it.
"What the hell Pierce! WHY DID YOU INSTALL LASERS?" Troy cried.
"Why the hell not? It's just lasers! Don't you streets behind losers have a remote control for this thing?"
"We did, but it's missing. We assumed you had it."
"Damn you Country Sean Connery and your sticky yet amazing fingers!"
Without the controls, without knowing just where Western Sean Connery was, the robot continued on it's destructive way.
Right into the path of Annie Edison.
Pierce froze, he called her Big-Boobs for a reason, and one (or two) that Boob-a-Tron would see too.
It was here, that the wave of guilt crashed into him.
The robot, fast and determined, running on magic and who knows what else, would surely catch Annie and hurt her. Badly.
Pierce hadn't wanted to hurt her, she was his favorite. The only one of the group who was constantly nice to him, the one who didn't talk to him like a crazy person. Annie was the good one of the group, the one he saw as the daughter he always wanted.
The one, now, who was about to be killed by an evil robot he had paid to do so.
Pierce was ashamed, disappointed and angry, for the first time, at himself.
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She honestly doesn't know what she first thought when she saw it.
She knows, she wondered why everyone was running, screaming and crying.
She knows, that she thought perhaps there was a fire or free chicken fingers.
-but after that, it's blank. Her brain simply stopped working for a fraction of a second.
For all intents and purposes, she blacked out the moment where she first saw the towering robot with laser eyes and angry expression coming towards her, the kind that still sometimes haunt her nightmares.
There she is, petrified. Absolutely mentally and physically ridged with fear.
Then memories of her drug-induced hallucinations, hitting her repeatedly like a bi-polar fisherman with a wet fish.
Part of her knows she should run, should be dropping her books and running as fast as she can in the other direction; but another part of her is saying, in a calm collected voice that this is just another dream.
This isn't real. This is just a figment of your imagination. Run now, and everyone will start calling you Little Adderall Annie again. Do you want that?
Annie's eyes start to burn with tears. She shakes a bit. No. No, she doesn't want that.
She's worked very hard not to allow her past to ruin her future.
The crowd thins, and soon it's just her and the impending (possibly not real) robot in the hallway.
"Annie, run!"
She hears Troy's voice, and it hits her, that this isn't a hallucination. It isn't the same diabolical, all powerful robot of her nightmares that feast on the souls of the innocent mortals. This is Abed and Troy's very real upgraded dancing robot for the Talent Show.
One that has obviously gone evil and is out to kill.
One that is closing in on her.
Crap.
Great, she's going to be killed at Greendale by the exact thing she freaked out about in High School. Life couldn't possibly laugh any harder than this at her.
Just as her brain is starting fill with images of what her tombstone would look like, with an inscription of poor crazy little Annie Adderall, killed by a mad robot. -a hand grabs hers.
Jeff.
"Annie, run damn it!" He yells at her, literally tugging at her, until she tumbles after him. When she starts to stumble he steadies her with his other hand, placing it on her lower back, while thrusting her in front of him. "Keep moving." his voice is calm, but strong and her body reacts instinctively to follow his order.
They run until they see the Study Room, Jeff launches ahead and pulls at the doors.
It's locked.
"What the hell!" He screams, kicking and pounding at the doors.
Chang appears, out from a table. "GO AWAY! DON'T BRING HER NEAR!" He points at Annie. "Her boobs are only going to draw it to this place!" More students, like Leonard and Starburns pop out from their hiding places.
Jeff glares at them all, "You let them in? Damn it Chang, I thought you wanted to be part of the group?" he tries to play on Chang's urge to be in their circle, "-you can't be apart of something if you let us die!"
Chang slips out from the table, "Okay Winger, I'll let you in, but Big-Boobs is a no go. We let her in and everyone is in danger."
Annie gasps, "What? Why?"
" 'cus that robot is on the hunt down after any lady with the a rack!"
Annie peers down at her chest, it figures that these things would get her killed.
"What are you talking about? I saw it go after Fa- I mean, Neil..." Jeff tries hard not to insert the kid's cruel nickname.
Chang shrugs, "-that boy has a pair. I'd say at least a B-cup."
Jeff's both visibly disgusted and furious at Chang. "Just shut up and let us both in!"
"Only you."
Annie grips at Jeff's shoulder, "Jeff, just go in, I'll find another-"
"Don't even." He snaps at her, "I'm not going in there without you."
She'd be lying if his words didn't make her heart beat faster, but she never gets to respond because Boob-a-Tron has finally found them.
Without even thinking, Jeff grabs her hand again and is pulling them down the hallway, her feet are barely even touching the floor, but it soon doesn't matter because they arrive at a dead end with Boob-a-Tron rounding the corner.
"Damn it!" Jeff curses, looking around, but all that is around them is books. Annie picks one up, it's about the mating ritual of unicorns.
Boob-a-tron sends out a laser that she manages to duck.
"Annie get behind me and stay down!" Jeff shouts, she wants to argue but the vent above them creaks to life and soon two familiar figures swoop down in matching capes.
"Abed! Troy!" she happily hugs them both.
Abed and Jeff share a glance, "As amazing as that was Abed, I'm still not admitting that show is any good."
Abed shrugs, "One day Jeff, you'll see the truth."
Troy ignores them and grips at Annie's shoulders, "Listen, if you move that bookcase, there's a secret window that me and Abed use all the time to sneak out of here."
"Why do have a secret window?" she can't help but ask.
"It was made when we were really into the Harry Potter series, it's one of many secret entrances we've made to make Greendale more like Hogwarts."
Jeff springs into action, starting to push at the bookcase until finally, he begins to see a window, but with the evil robot gaining on them, there isn't enough time. He looks to Abed and Troy.
They look back with equal amounts of determination.
"We'll stay behind to give you two the time you need."
"Abed...Troy..." Annie whispers, surprised by their selflessness.
Troy makes sniffling sounds, indicating is urge to cry but Abed steps forward. "Annie, Pierce told us he's sorry, and he wants you to know he never wanted you to get hurt, because you're his favorite. Also he's hunting down the head of Greendale's Science Department as we speak."
Jeff raised a brow, "You mean that crazy old guy who looks like an Western Sean Connery?"
"Yeah, he's crazy and possibly evil, but you gotta admit that his cowboy hat is kickin'."
Boob-a-tron lets another laser, pulling them all back to the matter at hand. As Jeff and Annie continue to push and move the books, Abed and Troy start aiming and throwing the books at the mad robot.
Annie let out the most horrified gasp, as if weaponizing the books was more offensive than a shirtless Chang.
"You guys! That's school property!" she scolded, eyes wide and nearly tearful.
Troy looked at the book, "Annie, it's just a Greendale book, look it doesn't even have words in it." He peeled back a few pages to reveal them to be blank.
Annie blinked, Disney eyes receding, "Still. You wouldn't treat your books at home like that."
"Annie, I don't have books at home. I have football trophies and an unwanted mural of Pierce riding a tiger dressed as Batman." He threw the book with a aim one could only get with years of practice. It hit Boob-a-Tron in the head, who responded with a wave of lasers.
Jeff cranked the window open and looked to Annie, "Come on, you first."
She looked over her shoulder to where Abed and Troy were still throwing books, "We can't just leave them Jeff, what if they get seriously hurt."
"Annie, they can take care of themselves. Just get over and get out this damn window before I make you."
"Jeff-" she tries again to argue, but he's having none of it. There isn't time. He picks her up like she weighs nothing, he switches her position a bit until he's cradling her against his chest and his arm is gripping her legs. Then he turns back to the window and slips out of it with her in his arms.
He doesn't even drop her after they make it outside, breaking into a run across the campus until he reaches the edge of the parking lot and sees his car, the only one left. He lets her down, but still gripping her close, as he finds his keys and unlocks it.
"Get in."
"Jeff! We have to go back, for Troy and Abed!" She didn't even realize she was crying up until now, but she is. Worried that they could be seriously injured or worse.
If only she hadn't frozen before, if only she hadn't got them all caught up in this, trying to save her because she couldn't save herself.
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Jeff looks down into her eyes, and regrets it instantly, but there's nothing he can do. He has to get her out of here first. "Annie. Please. They would have wanted you to get out alive."
She doesn't seem to listen, there are fat, heavy tears still making their way down her pale cheeks but there's a look in her eyes that he doesn't like at the moment. Determination.
"Annie don't even think about-"
Too late. She's already sidestepping him and running. He chases after her, but his lungs and legs are still burning from before so he's unable to catch her.
"Annie!" He shouts, Boob-a-Tron has once again appeared, from a robot-shaped hole in the wall.
His laser eyes once again trying to strike down Annie who ducks and rolls but doesn't stop running forwards. Jeff is impressed by her will to get to her friends, but also sick with fear. He's unable to save her from this distance, and it's killing him to watch the scene play out.
She manages to pass the robot, but it turns around, and fires another laser beam directly at her. She dodges again, but this time trips.
As she falls, Jeff, feels the air in his lungs vanish.
Shitshitshitshitshit nononono anyone but her, anyone but Annie.
"DAAAAAMN YOUR MAGIC TINFOIL POWERS!" Pierce shouts, still in his Hot Dog outfit, while riding on top of the Greendale's Space Simulator Mobile driving a course straight into Boob-a-Tron.
The robot didn't stand a chance, it yielded against the force of the other more powerful machine, instantly crumbling and breaking. Giving one last beep before completely dying.
Greendale, or whatever was left of it's student base, erupted into grateful cheers.
Jeff jogged to the scene and helped Annie up, and hugged her hard.
"If you ever do anything that stupid again Annie, I swear I will turn to a life of crime that involves kicking kittens and puppies all day long.
As expected she gasped, "Jeff!"
He smirked, "So don't do it and all those fluffy baby animals will be safe."
She smiled, knowing that (well, hopefully) he was just messing with her, but appreciated that he was worried.
"Thank you Jeff."
He eased away from her, "I think the one you should really be thanking is the crazy old geezer dressed as a hot dog."
Her smile grew and she nodded, racing over to tackle Pierce with a hug that was returned.
From a distance, he saw Abed and Troy stumble from the wreckage and give him the thumbs up. Everything was okay.
Greendale was safe once more, and more importantly, so was Annie Edison.
___________________________The End __________________________