Stories
Life has become fairly routine for me. Not as much emotional upheaval as once existed in it. There are skirmishes...here and there....some with lasting effects... but the event is often over quickly. And for some reason, I tend to feel that the good parts of my life are too dull and boring to jot down in readable form. After all, what is a story with no conflict? Reflecting on that, though, maybe it is the good parts that SHOULD be recorded. As boring and dull as they may seem to anyone but me. Why should I leave something behind that is negative and dark and ugly, drama filled and chaotic, as opposed to something beautiful and stable? Is the impression I would leave to whoever might stumble upon these words that of a negative turmoil-ridden soul? When that is not who I really am? I have reached a boring, stable existence. The biggest drama in my usual day is whether my children had a potty accident instead of making it to the bathroom. It is a mundane existence. But, that being said, I have worked HARD to build this mundane existence. I have been through the drama. I have been through the chaos. I have been through the darkness. And though I didn't get as lost in it as some people do...though I have just traveled the outsides of it instead of plunging foot long in the middle, I have come out the other side, a better, stronger person. I REVEL in my mundaneness, and am glad for it.
I am now 36 years old. Well past teenage angst years. I have an amazing husband who would give me the world should I ask it. I have 2 breathtakingly incredible children who ARE my world. And my heart bleeds for the teenagers in my life who are just starting their struggle, or who are well into it. I want to tell them to just keep pushing. Just keep going. To quote a country song "walk right through and you might get out before the Devil even knows you're there." I want to tell them that it really isn't as bad as they think it is. That all their troubles and tribulations are small potatoes...mere preparation for the really tough stuff, and that all they are going through will make it so they can weather the stuff still ahead of them easier. But, I know to them, the little skirmishes they are going through are the WORLD. The he said, she said's. The so-and-so's talked behind my back. The first love relationships that don't work out. That is their everything and it is all encompassing. So, I know they won't listen. I know, because I didn't listen (well, I SORT OF listened...apparently, I was a rather unique teen) when the adults in my life told me.
It is one of my greatest wishes that when my babies get to be teens that they won't view the world as a black hole from which there is no escape, as I see so many teens now do. As a teen, I had periods of that feeling. But I don't think it was so ever-present as I see in some today. Of course, the teens I know all have crappy backgrounds. Perhaps that is the difference.
Past time to start my mundane day. Kids should have been up and eating 10 minutes ago! Guess my son is going to be late for VPK. See what happens when mommy becomes reflective in the morning? Bad mommy!
I am now 36 years old. Well past teenage angst years. I have an amazing husband who would give me the world should I ask it. I have 2 breathtakingly incredible children who ARE my world. And my heart bleeds for the teenagers in my life who are just starting their struggle, or who are well into it. I want to tell them to just keep pushing. Just keep going. To quote a country song "walk right through and you might get out before the Devil even knows you're there." I want to tell them that it really isn't as bad as they think it is. That all their troubles and tribulations are small potatoes...mere preparation for the really tough stuff, and that all they are going through will make it so they can weather the stuff still ahead of them easier. But, I know to them, the little skirmishes they are going through are the WORLD. The he said, she said's. The so-and-so's talked behind my back. The first love relationships that don't work out. That is their everything and it is all encompassing. So, I know they won't listen. I know, because I didn't listen (well, I SORT OF listened...apparently, I was a rather unique teen) when the adults in my life told me.
It is one of my greatest wishes that when my babies get to be teens that they won't view the world as a black hole from which there is no escape, as I see so many teens now do. As a teen, I had periods of that feeling. But I don't think it was so ever-present as I see in some today. Of course, the teens I know all have crappy backgrounds. Perhaps that is the difference.
Past time to start my mundane day. Kids should have been up and eating 10 minutes ago! Guess my son is going to be late for VPK. See what happens when mommy becomes reflective in the morning? Bad mommy!