[FIC] My Family-- (crack!fic for the Thor fandom)
Title: My Family
Rating: G
Character(s)/Pairing(s): OC's, mentions of Thor and Loki
Word Count: 781
Warning/s: utter crack, quickly written and roughly edited
Summary: The Princess's tutor is still new to the intricacies of the Royal Family.
A/N: kapptastic and I have put FAR TOO MUCH THOUGHT into the universe of Thor. This usually devolves into idiotic and hilarious discussions about what we like to call #Asgardian court problems. And what would happen if Thor and Loki's child had to draw the Asgardian equivalent of a family picture to put on the fridge.
Also, I really should be working on my Nordic fics, but this came out instead. wtf.
The Lady Alanore had arrived at court but a week ago, and already proven her worth. Her vast knowledge, mild personality and love of children had marked her as exactly fit to be the first educator for the children of the nobility of Asgard. Amongst her charges was the first and only child of the King, the young Princess.
The children were currently enjoying an hour's respite from the duller studies of figures and letters. Each had chosen their own entertainment within the large, sun filled parlor that served as classroom. Lady Alanore walked between the children, before stopping at a table were several were seated, surrounded by colored pencils and pieces of parchment.
"And what are you all drawing?" The teacher kindly asked.
"We are making portraits of our families." The princess promptly responded, looking up. She was a lively, cheerful girl, with her father's bright blue eyes.
"And may I have a look at them?"
The children all clustered excitedly around her, eager to show their works. Two young brothers, twins, proudly displayed their paper first. It showed their father and elder brother, each dressed in the intricate armor of their House. Their mother stood at their father's side, holding a smear of some sort the boys explained to be her favorite harp. They had drawn themselves next to their brother, exactly alike and holding hands.
The youngest child of the Royal Steward came next. Her mother had died at birth, and her brother from illness, so only her father and herself were represented. But they were surrounded by the little girl’s pet birds and her father's library and the smiles scribbled on their faces plainly showed their joy in each other.
Alanore smiled, "These are lovely. Your families will be most proud. What of yours, my Princess?"
The girl presented hers with a flourish. Alanore's eyes went wide as she took in the picture. She had heard tales of the Royal Family, but had not believed them. Gossip was rare and furtive concerning them; the King did not take kindly to slights upon the honor of his family.
The princess was prompt in explaining her drawing. "Here is Father" she said, pointing. And so he was, the King in his red cape, holding the fabled hammer. "He lets me try to lift Mjolnir sometimes-- but I never can. He just laughs and says I shall have to grow some more."
She pointed next to the figure her drawn self was holding hands with. "This is my mother, also my royal Uncle. Did you know my mother and father were brothers once? But my mother is a great sorcerer and can change her shape. She says she is only a woman when it suits her or my father. Sometimes, she is blue though."
"... Like you drew?" Alanore responded weakly, baffled by the drawing of the Queen, as a blue Jotun man with elegantly curved horns.
"Yes, because Mother is half Jotun, and was the Prince of Jotunheim. It’s easy to tell when Mother is angry. She tends to freeze anything nearby." The girl explained, as if these were common occurrences and then lowered her voice, "Once she arguing with Father and froze a pillar in my bed chamber and it cracked and fell over. It made Father laugh so much. And she had to apologize." She confided with a quiet giggle.
The Princess did not seem to notice the slackjawed surprise on her teacher’s face. Lady Alanore tried to compose herself, as to not insult the girl’s feelings, and turned back to the final... shape in the drawing.
"And then who is this... A pet?" She asked, wary of the answer.
"Of course not!" The princess protested loudly. "That's my elder brother, Sleipnir! He is only half my blood though; he is Mother's first child. He was born long ago, during one of Mother’s adventures as a Prince of Asgard"
"...He’s a horse then?" What else could such a form be, despite the jumble of legs.
"Yes, with eight legs, so he's very fast. He makes sure to be careful when I ride him though. But he won't let me brush his mane, even though it’s so nice. I wish he would, but only Mother can do that."
“I see… Well, my princess, this is a unique portrait of your family. I’m sure your parents will be very happy to see it”
And with that, a dazed Lady Alanore stood up and walked to the classroom’s hallway, where she asked an attendant to please organize for the children to be returned to their homes earlier than usual. She needed some time to lie down-- the complexities of Asgardian court might be a little bit too much for her.
Rating: G
Character(s)/Pairing(s): OC's, mentions of Thor and Loki
Word Count: 781
Warning/s: utter crack, quickly written and roughly edited
Summary: The Princess's tutor is still new to the intricacies of the Royal Family.
A/N: kapptastic and I have put FAR TOO MUCH THOUGHT into the universe of Thor. This usually devolves into idiotic and hilarious discussions about what we like to call #Asgardian court problems. And what would happen if Thor and Loki's child had to draw the Asgardian equivalent of a family picture to put on the fridge.
Also, I really should be working on my Nordic fics, but this came out instead. wtf.
The Lady Alanore had arrived at court but a week ago, and already proven her worth. Her vast knowledge, mild personality and love of children had marked her as exactly fit to be the first educator for the children of the nobility of Asgard. Amongst her charges was the first and only child of the King, the young Princess.
The children were currently enjoying an hour's respite from the duller studies of figures and letters. Each had chosen their own entertainment within the large, sun filled parlor that served as classroom. Lady Alanore walked between the children, before stopping at a table were several were seated, surrounded by colored pencils and pieces of parchment.
"And what are you all drawing?" The teacher kindly asked.
"We are making portraits of our families." The princess promptly responded, looking up. She was a lively, cheerful girl, with her father's bright blue eyes.
"And may I have a look at them?"
The children all clustered excitedly around her, eager to show their works. Two young brothers, twins, proudly displayed their paper first. It showed their father and elder brother, each dressed in the intricate armor of their House. Their mother stood at their father's side, holding a smear of some sort the boys explained to be her favorite harp. They had drawn themselves next to their brother, exactly alike and holding hands.
The youngest child of the Royal Steward came next. Her mother had died at birth, and her brother from illness, so only her father and herself were represented. But they were surrounded by the little girl’s pet birds and her father's library and the smiles scribbled on their faces plainly showed their joy in each other.
Alanore smiled, "These are lovely. Your families will be most proud. What of yours, my Princess?"
The girl presented hers with a flourish. Alanore's eyes went wide as she took in the picture. She had heard tales of the Royal Family, but had not believed them. Gossip was rare and furtive concerning them; the King did not take kindly to slights upon the honor of his family.
The princess was prompt in explaining her drawing. "Here is Father" she said, pointing. And so he was, the King in his red cape, holding the fabled hammer. "He lets me try to lift Mjolnir sometimes-- but I never can. He just laughs and says I shall have to grow some more."
She pointed next to the figure her drawn self was holding hands with. "This is my mother, also my royal Uncle. Did you know my mother and father were brothers once? But my mother is a great sorcerer and can change her shape. She says she is only a woman when it suits her or my father. Sometimes, she is blue though."
"... Like you drew?" Alanore responded weakly, baffled by the drawing of the Queen, as a blue Jotun man with elegantly curved horns.
"Yes, because Mother is half Jotun, and was the Prince of Jotunheim. It’s easy to tell when Mother is angry. She tends to freeze anything nearby." The girl explained, as if these were common occurrences and then lowered her voice, "Once she arguing with Father and froze a pillar in my bed chamber and it cracked and fell over. It made Father laugh so much. And she had to apologize." She confided with a quiet giggle.
The Princess did not seem to notice the slackjawed surprise on her teacher’s face. Lady Alanore tried to compose herself, as to not insult the girl’s feelings, and turned back to the final... shape in the drawing.
"And then who is this... A pet?" She asked, wary of the answer.
"Of course not!" The princess protested loudly. "That's my elder brother, Sleipnir! He is only half my blood though; he is Mother's first child. He was born long ago, during one of Mother’s adventures as a Prince of Asgard"
"...He’s a horse then?" What else could such a form be, despite the jumble of legs.
"Yes, with eight legs, so he's very fast. He makes sure to be careful when I ride him though. But he won't let me brush his mane, even though it’s so nice. I wish he would, but only Mother can do that."
“I see… Well, my princess, this is a unique portrait of your family. I’m sure your parents will be very happy to see it”
And with that, a dazed Lady Alanore stood up and walked to the classroom’s hallway, where she asked an attendant to please organize for the children to be returned to their homes earlier than usual. She needed some time to lie down-- the complexities of Asgardian court might be a little bit too much for her.