(no subject)
It's Thanksgiving morning and I'm watching the parade and I can't stop crying. I'm not really sure why...but I think it just reminds me of my mother and it brings me back to my childhood when things were simpler. I miss who my parents were 20 years ago. It makes me realize that I don't have as much time as I think with them and I'm terribly afraid of losing them. I want to have a family of my own and want my parents to see my children and be a part of their lives and I'm afraid that may not happen. I worry that I won't be able to become a mother. I want to have a child to share all these traditions and things that were special to me growing up. I have a vision of family and so afraid it'll never be realized. Never thought I'd want to be a parent so badly.