No thank you, i LIKE to kill trees.
Call me old fashioned, if you will. Prehistoric. Luddite. Behind the times. Maybe even just a little jealous. But i sincerely dislike eReaders. The make me shudder the same way that skinny jeans, dreadlocks on white people, and gull-wing cars do.
A woman just came in the store and bought a bargain greeting card. I asked her if she wanted a bag and she smiled and said, "No, i'll just tuck it in with the Kindle" whereupon she patted the slim leather folder in front of her. Suddenly my face took on a rictus as if she'd just let out a long, smelly fart. I didn't even mean to, that half-horrified, half-baffled look was frozen on my face as i stared at the cool, flush keys and the personality-less white plastic case.
"Well" i said, rearranging my face into a smile, "you can't bring your Kindle in the bathtub."
"Oh no! I can! I do!"
"Really? It's waterproof?"
"It's at least rainproof. And Jeff Bezos says he wraps his Kindle in a plastic bag when he's in the tub."
"I think that Jeff Bezos should wrap his HEAD in a plastic bag to save the world from his smuggy douchiness."
Okay, i didn't really say the last bit. In fact what i actually said was something along the lines of "Oh...you don't say. How nice." But...gah! I don't understand how people can say that they love our store while flashing that soulless piece of gadgetry that is slowly (or not so slowly) spelling out the demise of independent bookstores. That lightly glowing screen can't possibly replace the almost imperceptibly pebbled feel of a page under your fingers, or the undeniably "booky" smell that wafts from the spine, or the ability to simply flip quickly through the pages searching for a half-remembered phrase, the only remnant being the word "meatball" and that it was somewhere at the bottom of the page. Seriously, i don't think that pushing the buttons to go forward and backward are going to be nearly as effective (or visceral) as just letting the pages flick past your thumb as your eyes scan the print for that one remembered word.
But maybe i'm just getting my panties in a twist because deep down, like way way way deep, i kind of want one. Or at least want to borrow one so i can fully form an opinion. Right now I'm all righteous indignation and bluster. I know that i can't wear skinny jeans, i'm just not skinny enough. Do i want to be skinny enough? Sure. In the meantime, i'll just hate them and say that they make everyone who wears them look bad in an effort to soothe my own curvy soul. And maybe that's what's happening with eReaders and me.
Fucking skinny jean wearing, dreadlocked, Delorean drivers. I hates them. And the Kindle too. So...pppbbbbtttt.
A woman just came in the store and bought a bargain greeting card. I asked her if she wanted a bag and she smiled and said, "No, i'll just tuck it in with the Kindle" whereupon she patted the slim leather folder in front of her. Suddenly my face took on a rictus as if she'd just let out a long, smelly fart. I didn't even mean to, that half-horrified, half-baffled look was frozen on my face as i stared at the cool, flush keys and the personality-less white plastic case.
"Well" i said, rearranging my face into a smile, "you can't bring your Kindle in the bathtub."
"Oh no! I can! I do!"
"Really? It's waterproof?"
"It's at least rainproof. And Jeff Bezos says he wraps his Kindle in a plastic bag when he's in the tub."
"I think that Jeff Bezos should wrap his HEAD in a plastic bag to save the world from his smuggy douchiness."
Okay, i didn't really say the last bit. In fact what i actually said was something along the lines of "Oh...you don't say. How nice." But...gah! I don't understand how people can say that they love our store while flashing that soulless piece of gadgetry that is slowly (or not so slowly) spelling out the demise of independent bookstores. That lightly glowing screen can't possibly replace the almost imperceptibly pebbled feel of a page under your fingers, or the undeniably "booky" smell that wafts from the spine, or the ability to simply flip quickly through the pages searching for a half-remembered phrase, the only remnant being the word "meatball" and that it was somewhere at the bottom of the page. Seriously, i don't think that pushing the buttons to go forward and backward are going to be nearly as effective (or visceral) as just letting the pages flick past your thumb as your eyes scan the print for that one remembered word.
But maybe i'm just getting my panties in a twist because deep down, like way way way deep, i kind of want one. Or at least want to borrow one so i can fully form an opinion. Right now I'm all righteous indignation and bluster. I know that i can't wear skinny jeans, i'm just not skinny enough. Do i want to be skinny enough? Sure. In the meantime, i'll just hate them and say that they make everyone who wears them look bad in an effort to soothe my own curvy soul. And maybe that's what's happening with eReaders and me.
Fucking skinny jean wearing, dreadlocked, Delorean drivers. I hates them. And the Kindle too. So...pppbbbbtttt.