(no subject)
Title: Not So Sweet Dreams
Autum
Zander was feeling upset. He missed Anya so much these days, and nights. He still dreamed about her; her funny quips, her capitalist obsession, her absolute bluntness. Even though she always said the wrong thing at the worst possible time, it made perfect sense to Xander, after he got over his embarrassment, of course. He was lonely, and there was no one to cheer him up. Nothing ever made his total aloneness better, except for maybe the dreams.
These dreams were not the heartrending nightmares that made him twist and turn with physical pain as the horrible visions of how she died, how he could have saved her, sped through his head like a bad action movie. The star of those nightmares wasn’t Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, it was just plain clumsy Zander, reaching for his almost, but never can be, bride. Those dreams were unbearable, they were the reason that he broke the mirror every morning after seeing his own reflection, a reflex from being the best friend of the Slayer for seven years. Hey, you would think you were some kind of hell beast if you had those dark circles and sunken eyes, too. There were better dreams, though. It still was unreasonably painful when he was rudely awakened to cruel reality, but they helped.
“Anya! Can you please remove these indescribable cheeses from our fridge? Some people actually like to eat when they open a refrigerator, it’s kind of the point.” Zander whined, secretly loving the fact that Anya ate disgusting green cheeses.
“Well honey, I don’t know what I can do, cause I’m falling, falling, fall-ing fooorrrr yuuuooo!” Anya sang happily.
“Okay, Ahn honey, I swear I did not summon Suite this time. The singing, dancing, and the funny burning to a charred crisp kinda lost its charm. “
“ No silly Xander Bander, there’s no singing demon here, its just….well….we’ve been married for a year, right? And well…what the hell, I’m pregnant.”
Xander’s brain can practically be seen melting into a gooey mass.
“WHAT? WHADDA MEAN YOU’RE PREGNANT?”
Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Oh My God. Pregnant. Pregnant.
“Xander? Xander, honey? Get off the floor, we need to talk baby names. I’ve already been thinking, Rupert is definitely out of the picture, Emma is an adorable name for a girl. Halefrick’s little hell spawn’s name is Emma. I also think that Nicholas is perfect, for a boy, I mean. There was an emperor of Russia that I had a little fling with in the 1800s named Nicholas. I turned his people against him and they brutally murdered him and his family, but hey, he was a rich member of society.”
“YOU killed Anastasia?” Xander gasped. He was a huge fan of the movie, and the soundtrack was just rocked.
“Not on purpose! God, I wasn’t that evil! The rioters kinda improvised, I just told them to use their imagination. Turns out, angry Russians aren’t that imaginative.”
Autum
Zander was feeling upset. He missed Anya so much these days, and nights. He still dreamed about her; her funny quips, her capitalist obsession, her absolute bluntness. Even though she always said the wrong thing at the worst possible time, it made perfect sense to Xander, after he got over his embarrassment, of course. He was lonely, and there was no one to cheer him up. Nothing ever made his total aloneness better, except for maybe the dreams.
These dreams were not the heartrending nightmares that made him twist and turn with physical pain as the horrible visions of how she died, how he could have saved her, sped through his head like a bad action movie. The star of those nightmares wasn’t Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, it was just plain clumsy Zander, reaching for his almost, but never can be, bride. Those dreams were unbearable, they were the reason that he broke the mirror every morning after seeing his own reflection, a reflex from being the best friend of the Slayer for seven years. Hey, you would think you were some kind of hell beast if you had those dark circles and sunken eyes, too. There were better dreams, though. It still was unreasonably painful when he was rudely awakened to cruel reality, but they helped.
“Anya! Can you please remove these indescribable cheeses from our fridge? Some people actually like to eat when they open a refrigerator, it’s kind of the point.” Zander whined, secretly loving the fact that Anya ate disgusting green cheeses.
“Well honey, I don’t know what I can do, cause I’m falling, falling, fall-ing fooorrrr yuuuooo!” Anya sang happily.
“Okay, Ahn honey, I swear I did not summon Suite this time. The singing, dancing, and the funny burning to a charred crisp kinda lost its charm. “
“ No silly Xander Bander, there’s no singing demon here, its just….well….we’ve been married for a year, right? And well…what the hell, I’m pregnant.”
Xander’s brain can practically be seen melting into a gooey mass.
“WHAT? WHADDA MEAN YOU’RE PREGNANT?”
Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Oh My God. Pregnant. Pregnant.
“Xander? Xander, honey? Get off the floor, we need to talk baby names. I’ve already been thinking, Rupert is definitely out of the picture, Emma is an adorable name for a girl. Halefrick’s little hell spawn’s name is Emma. I also think that Nicholas is perfect, for a boy, I mean. There was an emperor of Russia that I had a little fling with in the 1800s named Nicholas. I turned his people against him and they brutally murdered him and his family, but hey, he was a rich member of society.”
“YOU killed Anastasia?” Xander gasped. He was a huge fan of the movie, and the soundtrack was just rocked.
“Not on purpose! God, I wasn’t that evil! The rioters kinda improvised, I just told them to use their imagination. Turns out, angry Russians aren’t that imaginative.”