crap, i'm old.
well, another year over in...19 minutes and counting. jeez. haven't done anything with myself this past year. is it getting too late? i haven't done much in a quarter of a century. hopefully i've influenced someone's life in a positive way. i'd like to make something positive to be remembered for. any suggestions?
got an e-mail from an old classmate today. strange. haven't spoken to her in well over five years. she's living in argentina of all places now. brought back high school memories. i kinda wish i was more like i was back then. uhm, both yes and no really. i'd like to have that carefree streak i somehow lost while being depressed and sick. heh, got reminded of partying and drinking too much when getting that mail. she was my drinking buddy back in the days. due to medication i haven't touched alcohol the last four years. after a while it almost became a source of pride. don't ask me why. but now i kinda want to be able to do certain things my medication has permitted me to do again. i don't want to have to think about stuff like what i eat (for some reason my medication reacts to too much dairy products), drink or have to take the damn pills every single day. well, it could've been worse i guess. i'm not feeling the numbness a lot of people on the happy pill feels. if i did that i'd quit right away, withdrawal be damned.
well, now it's only 12 minutes to my birthday. i'm neither happy nor sad about it. just feels like i'm getting old. hopefully some wisdom will come out of it. i doubt it.
got an e-mail from an old classmate today. strange. haven't spoken to her in well over five years. she's living in argentina of all places now. brought back high school memories. i kinda wish i was more like i was back then. uhm, both yes and no really. i'd like to have that carefree streak i somehow lost while being depressed and sick. heh, got reminded of partying and drinking too much when getting that mail. she was my drinking buddy back in the days. due to medication i haven't touched alcohol the last four years. after a while it almost became a source of pride. don't ask me why. but now i kinda want to be able to do certain things my medication has permitted me to do again. i don't want to have to think about stuff like what i eat (for some reason my medication reacts to too much dairy products), drink or have to take the damn pills every single day. well, it could've been worse i guess. i'm not feeling the numbness a lot of people on the happy pill feels. if i did that i'd quit right away, withdrawal be damned.
well, now it's only 12 minutes to my birthday. i'm neither happy nor sad about it. just feels like i'm getting old. hopefully some wisdom will come out of it. i doubt it.