FRIDAY NIGHT
this is a journal
all of you are strangers
SO
hypothetically i can say anything
this night i was going to my parents house, where beer is a sin that will send me to hell ect. ect.
when i was in high school i worked at a book store. my manger's name was mary lou *****. she got a faabulous job working at a bar she loved. it's friday night. i'm going to my parents house. i stop at the bar a few miles away because i want to see it she still works there
she doesn't
i drink 1) a rolling rock and 2) a franziskaner no lemon
as i am watching osme sports footage of a boxer being knocked out so hardcore i notice a super pompador ultratan perfect teeth white haired guy STARING at me
i decide to leave after this drink and head for the folks house
i am arrested by the band playing. turns out the lead singer is leaving to teach? in new york the following week, and the lead guitarist and backup guitarist are hired for the night ony, friends who are spotting in to have a full band to play this live gig as a send-off party
btw a good band is UNHEARD OF in DARIEN
i find a seat in the center of the room
waitress comes up, i flag her with my eyes to order another franziskaner
i am alone
she says someone wants to buy me a drink, this is normal enough i don't really care and order and pull out tip
the band plays on theyROCK btw www.redcandymusic.com, but i hear it was a once in a lifetime ensemble even if i wanted to go through the tearjerker of trying to get shifty eyed guy to produce them.
i see fucking overlytanned perfect teeth rolex watch 50 year old guy standing in the corner STARING AT ME. this is common enough i ignore his ass. i realize 2+2=4
i hatch a plan
livjournal readers this is the only reason i post this story
the plan
i KNOW it's a perennial thing that no matter what i do he's going to come over and try to get his groove on. i don't know his ass from JACK. i will be shy and uncomfortable and he will make my quiet escapist beer a misery with his loud voice and disrespect for a)the music and b)me by assuming he bought my company with an anonymous beer
he makes eyes at me. i have never been able to pretend that's not happening. usually i make ugly faces and that is the end. THIS TIME i push the chair next to me out with my foot. he waffles. i don't give a fuck. i listen to the band. after 2 songs worth of ignoring him he settles hhimself and gives me love poem aboutmy uniquness and how hot it is to see someone roll a cigarette. i tell him shh i'm listening. after the set i'm like look, i'll be honest it's a thousand dollars. the ass is sacre. hands off. he's all like i'll take you anywhere. my name is bob. i stand my gorund. he conveniently goes away because like most people he is insulted by the very idea.
just typing this the plan does not seem like a good idea.
should i raise the price? it's almost the most brilliant idea i've ever had for simultaneously fucking with someone's head AND getting them off my back.
i feel bad now though even though i gave BOB some advice on his haircut
sometimes i think medieval cultures had it right when you could buy you women ande her faithfulness. i am faithful for free but that was bought with trust and time. this scheme to be left alone in isolated predatory fucked up suburban bars though
should i raise the price?
all of you are strangers
SO
hypothetically i can say anything
this night i was going to my parents house, where beer is a sin that will send me to hell ect. ect.
when i was in high school i worked at a book store. my manger's name was mary lou *****. she got a faabulous job working at a bar she loved. it's friday night. i'm going to my parents house. i stop at the bar a few miles away because i want to see it she still works there
she doesn't
i drink 1) a rolling rock and 2) a franziskaner no lemon
as i am watching osme sports footage of a boxer being knocked out so hardcore i notice a super pompador ultratan perfect teeth white haired guy STARING at me
i decide to leave after this drink and head for the folks house
i am arrested by the band playing. turns out the lead singer is leaving to teach? in new york the following week, and the lead guitarist and backup guitarist are hired for the night ony, friends who are spotting in to have a full band to play this live gig as a send-off party
btw a good band is UNHEARD OF in DARIEN
i find a seat in the center of the room
waitress comes up, i flag her with my eyes to order another franziskaner
i am alone
she says someone wants to buy me a drink, this is normal enough i don't really care and order and pull out tip
the band plays on theyROCK btw www.redcandymusic.com, but i hear it was a once in a lifetime ensemble even if i wanted to go through the tearjerker of trying to get shifty eyed guy to produce them.
i see fucking overlytanned perfect teeth rolex watch 50 year old guy standing in the corner STARING AT ME. this is common enough i ignore his ass. i realize 2+2=4
i hatch a plan
livjournal readers this is the only reason i post this story
the plan
i KNOW it's a perennial thing that no matter what i do he's going to come over and try to get his groove on. i don't know his ass from JACK. i will be shy and uncomfortable and he will make my quiet escapist beer a misery with his loud voice and disrespect for a)the music and b)me by assuming he bought my company with an anonymous beer
he makes eyes at me. i have never been able to pretend that's not happening. usually i make ugly faces and that is the end. THIS TIME i push the chair next to me out with my foot. he waffles. i don't give a fuck. i listen to the band. after 2 songs worth of ignoring him he settles hhimself and gives me love poem aboutmy uniquness and how hot it is to see someone roll a cigarette. i tell him shh i'm listening. after the set i'm like look, i'll be honest it's a thousand dollars. the ass is sacre. hands off. he's all like i'll take you anywhere. my name is bob. i stand my gorund. he conveniently goes away because like most people he is insulted by the very idea.
just typing this the plan does not seem like a good idea.
should i raise the price? it's almost the most brilliant idea i've ever had for simultaneously fucking with someone's head AND getting them off my back.
i feel bad now though even though i gave BOB some advice on his haircut
sometimes i think medieval cultures had it right when you could buy you women ande her faithfulness. i am faithful for free but that was bought with trust and time. this scheme to be left alone in isolated predatory fucked up suburban bars though
should i raise the price?