what if arthur lived in the time of winston churchill?
Title: What if Arthur Lived in the time of Winston Churchill?
Rating: G except for that one or two naughty words.
Word Count: 766
A/N: I said "I'm hella bored", so bananedaiquiri replied with 'WRITE ME FIC PLZ'. BLAME HER.
"No, Arthur, you cannot enlist. I forbid it!" Winston sat in his chair and chewed on the end of his pipe in a way he hoped conveyed how very little (ie not at all) he could be persuaded to change his mind.
"I can do what I want, thank you very much." Arthur Pendragon protested, very nearly stomping his foot. Merlin Emrys, who was never more than a few feet away from Arthur at any given moment, was curled up in an armchair in the corner of the room, nose buried in some novel wherein a Heroine must suffer through Very Great Trials Indeed before doubtless ending up with her One True Love in highly unlikely circumstances. Winston did not approve of Merlin, nor his taste in literature. Without looking up, Merlin said 'No, you can't' in a tone that brooked no argument, and Arthur pouted.
"I forbid it and I am the Prime Minister," Winston said, "so consider it an order."
"Well I'm King Arthur," said Arthur, "so I out-rank you and cancel your order."
"We already have King George," Winston pointed out, "and I seem to remember him telling you not to be ridiculous at that dinner party last Tuesday. You've got both a Royal and a Prime Ministerial order forbidding you to sign up now."
"Ha ha." said Merlin, "Ha."
Arthur gave them both a disgusted look and flopped backwards onto the sofa melodramatically. It creaked. Winston increased his glare. Everyone was strapped for cash, he couldn't justify buying a new sofa just because some nancy pretty boy who was handy with a sword threw childish tantrums.
"How am I going to protect my people though?" Arthur complained. His arm was across his face (and his feet, Winston noted with disdain, were up on the cushions), so it came out a bit muffled, but you could still hear the equal parts whiny and earnest concern. That was Arthur all over really, childish over just about everything, but when it came to the people of England and the United Kingdom, he was anything but. Arthur cared deeply about every single one of them, moreso than Winston (who cared a whole fucking lot, thank you very much), and maybe even more than King George (was this blasphemous to think? Winston didn't know). Arthur didn't want to sign up and fight for glory, for adventure or for fun. He knew war, he knew it wasn't glorious, wasn't pretty. Arthur knew the score better than anyone. No, Arthur wasn't a foolish little boy seeking excitement, Arthur wanted to enlist so he could help, so he wouldn't be sitting by idle while his people suffered and fell.
Winston admired that about him. When it wasn't giving him a migraine, that is.
"You could leave it all to me." Merlin suggested lightly.
That earnt him a glare from both Winston and Arthur.
"That's not natural." Winston spluttered, while Arthur insisted that that was cheating. "War isn't done that way, Merlin. We'd be the laughing stock of everyone involved."
Merlin finally looked up from his book and withered them both with a look that spoke volumes about just how high he thought their level of idiocy had just reached. "You can't cheat at war, Arthur. 'All's fair in love and', remember? Besides which, YOU aren't allowed off that couch till you promise not to do something stupid, and a lot of lives would be saved if you both just let me have my way."
"But!" Winston protested. Magic. He still wasn't used to it.
"Look the other way if it bothers you." Merlin said, and went back to his book.
In the end, Winston did end up looking the other way. Germany and all that lot ended up saying 'Vell fuck zis for a lark, lets go have Bratvurst' when all their bullets became glitter, all their bombs into rainbows, and all their planes and tanks and submarines into puppies and kittens and rubber bath ducks. Arthur ended up leading the Clean Up Team ('So he feels like he helped." Merlin explained to Winston and King George, "Otherwise he'll get all snippy and feel left out, and I'm really not in the mood to deal with that this century."), and even though some sort of terrible worldwide catastrophe was well and truly averted, Winston was still very glad indeed when Arthur and Merlin decided to take an extended tour of the Mediterranean ('I'm going to keep him away until it becomes fashionable to be entirely clean shaven." Merlin had confessed "I can't stand his pathetic attempts at facial hair.).
Rating: G except for that one or two naughty words.
Word Count: 766
A/N: I said "I'm hella bored", so bananedaiquiri replied with 'WRITE ME FIC PLZ'. BLAME HER.
"No, Arthur, you cannot enlist. I forbid it!" Winston sat in his chair and chewed on the end of his pipe in a way he hoped conveyed how very little (ie not at all) he could be persuaded to change his mind.
"I can do what I want, thank you very much." Arthur Pendragon protested, very nearly stomping his foot. Merlin Emrys, who was never more than a few feet away from Arthur at any given moment, was curled up in an armchair in the corner of the room, nose buried in some novel wherein a Heroine must suffer through Very Great Trials Indeed before doubtless ending up with her One True Love in highly unlikely circumstances. Winston did not approve of Merlin, nor his taste in literature. Without looking up, Merlin said 'No, you can't' in a tone that brooked no argument, and Arthur pouted.
"I forbid it and I am the Prime Minister," Winston said, "so consider it an order."
"Well I'm King Arthur," said Arthur, "so I out-rank you and cancel your order."
"We already have King George," Winston pointed out, "and I seem to remember him telling you not to be ridiculous at that dinner party last Tuesday. You've got both a Royal and a Prime Ministerial order forbidding you to sign up now."
"Ha ha." said Merlin, "Ha."
Arthur gave them both a disgusted look and flopped backwards onto the sofa melodramatically. It creaked. Winston increased his glare. Everyone was strapped for cash, he couldn't justify buying a new sofa just because some nancy pretty boy who was handy with a sword threw childish tantrums.
"How am I going to protect my people though?" Arthur complained. His arm was across his face (and his feet, Winston noted with disdain, were up on the cushions), so it came out a bit muffled, but you could still hear the equal parts whiny and earnest concern. That was Arthur all over really, childish over just about everything, but when it came to the people of England and the United Kingdom, he was anything but. Arthur cared deeply about every single one of them, moreso than Winston (who cared a whole fucking lot, thank you very much), and maybe even more than King George (was this blasphemous to think? Winston didn't know). Arthur didn't want to sign up and fight for glory, for adventure or for fun. He knew war, he knew it wasn't glorious, wasn't pretty. Arthur knew the score better than anyone. No, Arthur wasn't a foolish little boy seeking excitement, Arthur wanted to enlist so he could help, so he wouldn't be sitting by idle while his people suffered and fell.
Winston admired that about him. When it wasn't giving him a migraine, that is.
"You could leave it all to me." Merlin suggested lightly.
That earnt him a glare from both Winston and Arthur.
"That's not natural." Winston spluttered, while Arthur insisted that that was cheating. "War isn't done that way, Merlin. We'd be the laughing stock of everyone involved."
Merlin finally looked up from his book and withered them both with a look that spoke volumes about just how high he thought their level of idiocy had just reached. "You can't cheat at war, Arthur. 'All's fair in love and', remember? Besides which, YOU aren't allowed off that couch till you promise not to do something stupid, and a lot of lives would be saved if you both just let me have my way."
"But!" Winston protested. Magic. He still wasn't used to it.
"Look the other way if it bothers you." Merlin said, and went back to his book.
In the end, Winston did end up looking the other way. Germany and all that lot ended up saying 'Vell fuck zis for a lark, lets go have Bratvurst' when all their bullets became glitter, all their bombs into rainbows, and all their planes and tanks and submarines into puppies and kittens and rubber bath ducks. Arthur ended up leading the Clean Up Team ('So he feels like he helped." Merlin explained to Winston and King George, "Otherwise he'll get all snippy and feel left out, and I'm really not in the mood to deal with that this century."), and even though some sort of terrible worldwide catastrophe was well and truly averted, Winston was still very glad indeed when Arthur and Merlin decided to take an extended tour of the Mediterranean ('I'm going to keep him away until it becomes fashionable to be entirely clean shaven." Merlin had confessed "I can't stand his pathetic attempts at facial hair.).