100 Prompts (A) #55- Jealousy
Title: I Hate this Feeling
Prompt: #55- Jealousy
Series: 100 Prompts (A)
Rating: T
Master Post: http://authorkuma-chan.livejournal.com/13092.html
Allegra hated the feeling of jealousy. She could understand being possessive, that was a feeling she felt often enough. Jealous, honestly, never struck her as a feeling she'd get to know. She found the feeling petty, but it remained in her stomach. Jealousy left her with mixed emotions and an upset stomach.
Just watching that girl get handsy with him had her waiting to throw up and breaking something at the same time. The wall looked so willing to take all of her aggression that it took a lot of will powers to not punch it. Allegra didn't know how she kept herself from emotionally or physically breaking herself. Emotions were things she couldn't handle that easily. For one thing, she didn't understand half of them. The second thing resulted from her being scared. She feared rejection, after being rejected by her family for her entire life. Being rejected by someone she loved as much as she loved him would surely break her into tiny pieces.
Oh how she was jealous of that girl. She dared to do things Allegra wished to do. She couldn't bring herself to openly express her wishes, or enact them. Here, this girl, was someone asking for everything Allegra secretly wanted. She envied that girl's bravery. She feared rejection and Shu learning her true feelings more than anything in the world. If only she had that girl's bravery.
Maybe her actions were wrong. Why did she have to let her anger out at Shu? Because she wanted him to reject his new fan. It angered her that he hadn't managed to break the girl's will yet. Arceus, she hated these thoughts so much. Why did she have to be angry at him? Everything was her fault after all. She didn't enjoy the feeling of wanting to punch something so bad, but she felt it. Maybe, if she could finally speak her mind she wouldn't feel this way.
She wanted to cry so bad. Crying seemed like the only safe way to let her feelings out. He belonged to her right? She couldn't help but think that way. After everything they've been through the feeling just grew on her. She wanted him more than anyone else, so of course she claimed him in her mind. Still, he probably didn't think he belonged to her. After all, these were her secret thoughts.
“I'm such an idiot,” whimpered Allegra. The sixteen-year old slid down the wall while curling up in a ball. Her foot was cradled between her hands as it throbbed with pain. She just wanted to read up on Lugia, and what did she see? That girl getting handsy with Shu, again. In her small fit of rage she effectively kicked a bookshelf causing it to fall over. She turned invisible and fled in her embarrassment. All she wanted to do now was sit there and cry until she fell asleep.
“Well, at least you've finally admitted it,” came Shu's voice. She picked up her head to make sure he was there, even though her ears could ne
ver mistake his heartbeat with anyone else. Tears prickled at the edge of her silver eyes while she stared at him.
“What do you want?” Allegra asked. Her voice sounded so pathetic, like she had finally given up. Like she wanted nothing more than to wallow in her pain for a while.
“Good job destroying the entire library,” Shu said looking down at her. “The way you kicked that bookshelf made me think you were highly angry. That, or trying to kill a bug or something.” When Allegra didn't even react to his comment he sighed. “Fine, I'll play nice. What's wrong?”
“Sorry to interrupt, but watching you two get handsy makes me want to vomit,” Allegra spat. Her voice was filled to the brim with venom and she even glared up at him. She was way more than highly angry. She was beyond angry.
“You sound like you're jealous,” Shu teased. He smirked when she twitched in anger. All he wanted was to get her back to her usual self. The self that enjoyed a decent argument.
“Of course I'm jealous!” Allegra screamed loudly. In her outburst she had risen to her feet, even though her left one still throbbed with pain. It took a minute for both of them to process what Allegra had said, but a moment later Allegra's cheeks were bright red. She did not mean for that to slip out at all. “I'm going to bed,” whimpered Allegra quickly while turning around. Slowly she limped off towards bed wondering how she had let that slip out. On her way down the hall she could have sworn he muttered something about her having nothing to be jealous over. Still, her ears were probably playing tricks on her.