Give a little, take a little... (part 1)

[yoru_no_hikaru]

Pairing: TakkiRyo
Guest characters: Uchi Hiroki, Domoto Koichi
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own them, just love them ^^
Warnings: Graphic sex, kink, dirty talk, adult language and it got really long (smut readers please go to part 3 ^^" )
One-Shot (well, kind of ^^" )

Notes: Okay, here's an update. I know, not a series update, but it's taken me so long to finish this and now it's finally done. To my beloved lilly0, in hopes of giving her a nice little (or not so little) distraction from her huge amount of work. Keep going, sweet-heart, and this one is for you. ^_^  I'm really sorry the series updates are taking so long, but life has been a bitch lately and sadly I couldn't finish anything. T__T For now, please enjoy this.

Intro: Tackey and Ryo are a happy couple. If only there weren't this... problem. But how to talk about bed-issues? Feeling uncomfortable, Ryo seeks out his friend's help, but he's spotted by someone else and that's when the real trouble begins...


Ryo yawned as he stretched his arms lazily.
“This is boring,” he decided.
He and his lover had gotten relaxed on their couch for a late night movie, but it had turned out to be much less interesting than the summary had promised. Ryo wasn’t a fan of fantasy stories to begin with, but somehow the other had convinced him. At the moment Ryo was quite bored, though - which left his lover in the tricky position to entertain him properly. Tackey just grinned, though, thinking it might be nice to change plans. He quickly grabbed his lover who yelped slightly in protest, but did not fight the embrace.
“Care for something more… thrilling?” Tackey suggested playfully.
The younger one just sighed, though, finally shoving the other away.
“That’s not what I meant,” he grumbled out.

“But still,” Tackey tried to present some kind of mood. “It’s not too late…” He leaned in once more to whisper into the other’s ear. “The entire house is empty…”
That was indeed a rare occasion, Ryo mused. But even so, he didn’t feel like…
“Look, I’m really not in the mood,” Ryo explained flatly. “So just back off?”
Tackey sighed heavily as he retreated. “You know, it’s okay to say you’re not in the mood,” he stated, sounding unnerved. “But really, there’s no need to be harsh about it - especially since I seem to be the only one ever making the move.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ryo asked pointedly.
“We haven’t been intimate in forever,” the older man complained. “And whenever I approach you, you always just draw back.”
“Well, it’s been pretty busy lately,” Ryo defended himself. “So I can’t really put my mind to it.”

“I’m busy too,” Tackey told him. “I still want you, though. And at least I’m trying.”
“Yeah, well,” Ryo stated flatly, “sorry, I’m not an animal such as yourself. If you’re horny, feel free to have a little get-away to the bathroom.”
“You know,” Tackey scoffed. “I really don’t have to take that kind of shit. It’s not like I tried to jump you, or something. But first you don’t answer to me and then you bitch when I try to explain how I’m feeling. I’m through.”
Ryo sighed heavily as the other got up and rushed out of the room.
“Hey, where are you going?” he asked.
“Out,” was the very plain answer he got.
“Come on now,” Ryo tried, his voice starting to sound softer, but he still did not get up to follow the other. “I understand you want to… well, I understand it, okay? But look, right now there’s jus-“

Ryo jumped slightly as he heard the door being slammed shut. He sighed heavily. For a second he wondered if he should run after the other, but then decided against it. He gripped his hair, cursing bitterly. Then he grabbed his phone, picking out a number and dialling.
“Hey… can we talk?”

________________________________________________________________________________________

“So,” Uchi dragged out, stirring in his drink, “you still haven’t talked to him?”
“I don’t know what I should say,” Ryo sighed sadly.
“How about `You want sex? Then put out.´,” Uchi sneered.
“I cannot simply tell him to… you know…” Ryo muttered, blushing.
“Why ever not?” the other wanted to know. “I totally don’t get your problem. He gets to, you get to. It’s supposed to be that way.”
“Still, if he doesn’t offer,” Ryo insisted, “I can’t just claim.”
“But he does it,” Uchi reminded him.
“That’s… different,” Ryo muttered.
“How?”
“It just is,” the older man hissed.

“Okay, fine,” Uchi stated with a shrug. “Then just leave everything as it is. But you know, it’s not asking too much to want to be top once in a while.”
“I know…”
“Why don’t you try to… I don’t know,” Uchi mused, “while you’re at it, you can just work him into the position, or something.”
“Tried that,” Ryo sighed. “Somehow it totally doesn’t work. He just keeps doing this or that and somehow… it’s not like he’s forcing anything on me, but I’ll just… give way.”
“Then don’t,” the other told him.
“What if he misunderstands?” Ryo mused.

Uchi merely sighed. “That’s why you guys should talk.”
“We’re going around in circles here,” Ryo stated, shaking his head.
“How about you write down what you think and give it to him as a letter?”
“Yeah, that’s a neat idea,” Ryo scoffed.
“Hey, I’m just trying to help.”
“I know…”

______________________________________________________________________________________

“Koichi, can you stay behind?” Tackey asked.
“What - again?” Koichi moaned in despair. “Come on, we’re already working over-hours.”
“But this has to be finished before rehearsals tomorrow,” Tackey insisted.
“Oh please, it’s not like we’ll have it ready before the end of the week anyway,” Koichi told him. “Might as well take a good break instead of trying to force it.”
“Now, that’s an odd statement coming from you,” Tackey blinked. “I thought you were so much into the stage thing.”
“I am,” Koichi told him. “I love the stage. Even so, as it is, there is also someone that I happen to love just as much waiting for me at home. And I can’t stay out every night and simply neglect him. Maybe you should take some better care of your own man too, then he wouldn’t hang around with other guys in bars all night.”

Tackey blinked at that.
“Hold on, what was that?” he demanded.
“Well, I’m not blaming him,” Koichi told him.
“No, you… you saw Ryo with someone?”
Koichi nodded warily. “Sat together with Uchi-kun last night. I was walking Pan and then suddenly I saw them together. I thought about going in to say hi, but they seemed pretty… well, involved in something, so I thought I’d better not disrupt.”
“Last night,” Tackey repeated silently.
“Well, they weren’t doing anything fishy,” Koichi told him. “But really, if you were more present, I think Ryo-kun wouldn’t do stuff like that without telling you.”
“What do you even know?” Tackey barked at him.

“Hey, now don’t bitch at me,” Koichi demanded. “I didn’t do anything. And if you…”
“Don’t be so fucking full of yourself,” Tackey spat at him. “I’m really trying. I even went over to his place last night after we had finished. But really, whenever I try to be close to him… he rejects me.”
Koichi inspected him for a while. “So… you were there and even willing…?”
“More than willing,” the other stated flatly. “But he just shoved me away - again. So I left. And the first thing he does…”
“Now, don’t over-rate that,” Koichi advised him. “Maybe it was about something… special.”
Tackey merely sighed, though. “I think we’re done for today…”
“Right,” Koichi nodded and quickly left.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

“Okay, everybody, neatly done,” Koichi praised his cast. “Get some good rest over the weekend. Our last week of rehearsals is coming up.”
Everybody bowed and said their good-byes for the weekend, when Koichi spotted someone in the crowd.
“Ah, Uchi-kun,” he called out. “Do you mind… a word?”
Uchi blinked at him, but nodded. Koichi waited after everybody else had left, then he expected the other closely.
“Uchi-kun… are you… I mean, is there… are you meeting someone?” Koichi asked finally.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean dating,” Koichi shrugged.

“Why would you ask me something like that?” the other wanted to know.
“It’s just…” Koichi sighed. “I saw you the other night. With Ryo-kun.”
“Ryo?” Uchi blinked. “We’re just friends. And he’s taken, so…”
“I know that,” Koichi nodded. “But obviously Takizawa had no idea you guys were meeting. Apparently he had been at Ryo’s before and somehow things didn’t go well. I was just wondering… what is going on there?”
“I don’t think that concerns you,” Uchi told him.
“But you do know?” Koichi pressed his point.
“Yes,” Uchi admitted. “I know. Just…”
“Well, whatever it is, better tell Ryo-kun,” Koichi advised him. “Takizawa seems to be under the impression that he’s got a thing going with you.”
“EH?!?!?!?!”

“Well,” Koichi huffed dismissively, “what would you think? First your lover turns down your advances and next time you turn around he’s hanging with another guy - and keeping it secret, as it seems.”
“Why, it’s his own fault,” Uchi accused. “If he were more considerate, then Ryo wouldn’t…”
Koichi laughed at that. “Are you telling me Takizawa is selfish in bed? That’s too good to be true.”
“I didn’t say anything like that,” Uchi demanded, but his face flushed as he realized he had let some delicate information slip.
“Then what were you saying?” Koichi asked, an amused smile on his face.
“Nothing,” Uchi muttered irritably. “Forget it.”
“Bulls eye,” Koichi analysed. “Oh, I can’t wait for rehearsals next week…”
“Don’t say a word,” Uchi warned him. “This is really… difficult.”

“Why doesn’t Ryo-kun simply dump him if he’s too demanding?” Koichi asked.
“Look, I don’t…” Uchi sighed. “Okay, listen, I never told you this - but it’s actually not that Tackey isn’t kind, or anything. He seems to attend to Ryo very well too. He’s kind and loving and all…”
“Okay,” Koichi nodded. “But?”
“But…” Uchi bit his lip. “Na, Koichi?”
“Hm?”
“Say, with you and Tsuyoshi… who is the one who will… you know, top more often? I mean, there’s always one who gets to do it more, right? How do you balance it?”
Koichi stared. “That’s the problem? Takizawa won’t open up?”
“Ryo said no matter what or how they do it, he always ends up… on the receiving end,” Uchi shrugged.

“Okay, that sucks,” Koichi stated. “And Ryo is… well, Ryo. There’s no way he’ll complain about it to Takizawa.”
“Exactly,” Uchi nodded. “But he’s already grown reluctant to actually do it at all. So…”
“He keeps pushing Takizawa away and calls you instead to talk about things,” Koichi finished the sentence.
“That’s the current situation,” Uchi nodded.
“Quite a mess,” Koichi sighed.
“Hey,” Uchi said carefully. “Howe about… can’t you…?”
Koichi blinked at the other for a moment, then shook his head vehemently.
“Oh no,” he burst out. “I’m not gonna get involved in this.”

“But…” the younger man tried. “This might actually be the best way out. If I talk to Tackey, Ryo’s gonna kill me. But if you let something slip by accident, maybe that can solve matters?”
“Or make them worse,” Koichi opposed. “I understand you are trying to help, but really, if they can’t work it out by themselves, then maybe they weren’t meant to be.”
“Still,” Uchi mused.
“Try not to get too involved,” Koichi advised him. “Unless you’re thinking about claiming Ryo for yourself?”
At that the younger man made a face. “Er… no.”
“Why not? He’s handsome and cute.”
“Yeah, just… we’ve grown up like brothers. It would be so weird…”
“Yeah, there’s a point,” Koichi agreed. “At any rate, try to stay out of this. It’ll be better, trust me on that.”

“Okay,” Uchi nodded. “Thank you, Koichi. I’ll be seeing you next week. Eat well during the weekend.”
“You too,” Koichi winked at him. “I’m not the one who lost 2 pounds this week.”
“I’ll watch out.”
Koichi nodded at him, waving as the other flew out the door. He sighed as he packed up his own stuff in order to get home. Yet again he had stayed behind for special practice. Koichi would rather die than admit it, but he sucked at memorizing steps. He often scheduled double practices, so he could keep up with everybody else. The little handicap was okay with his own little group, but with this cast and so many people involved, he definitely didn’t want to stand behind. Sometimes several other guys would join in and practice with him, which was much appreciated, of course. After getting all of his stuff Koichi finally locked the door to their rehearsal room. He blinked as he heard a voice a bit down the corridor.

“No, I… Kimi-kun called. He insisted we do this `emergency meeting´.”

Ryo-kun.

Koichi blinked. There was Ryo with a cell phone in hand, walking up and down nervously.
“I know,” Ryo said into the phone. “I told him, but… oh, you know how he is. I’ll just get it over with and… yeah. … I really am sorry. … I know we haven’t met. … I know, me too. Look, how about I call you once we’re done? … Okay. Yeah, I’ll let you know. … You too. Bye.”
He hung up with a deep sigh.
“Was that Takizawa?”
Ryo froze in place, then swished around. He looked like a kid who had gotten caught stealing cookies before dinner. He tried to cover his uneasiness, but as usual it was to no avail.
“Koichi-kun,” he said in a voice that sounded way too loud and way too polite. “Oh, that. I… sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you. Is Hiro here?”

Koichi shook his head. “Headed out several minutes ago.”
Ryo’s face fell. “Shoot.”
“Aren’t you meeting your working crew?” Koichi asked, trying to sound even.
“I, er… well… look, it’s…”
“Stop babbling,” Koichi interrupted the stuttering.
He bit his lip wondering what to do. As he had told Uchi before he thought that getting involved was not a very good idea. Even so, the sight of the younger man in front of him didn’t leave him unaffected. Ryo was in many ways similar to him. Koichi understood quite a lot of his actions and reactions where others would simply shake their heads. He was really fond of the boy and understood the problems he had with voicing his needs and wishes - or rather voicing altogether for that matter. He too was a man who couldn’t talk very well and who easily felt wary about the affection of other people. In the end, had Tsuyoshi not trained him up, where would he be? Maybe he could help the other out similarly.

“Ah, please don’t be mad at him,” Koichi finally continued, “but somehow I extracted some information from Uchi-kun.” When Ryo’s eyes went wide, Koichi tried to soothe things. “He didn’t come running to tell me anything,” he assured the younger man. “Maybe I even played a bit dirty. Just please don’t blame him. He really only means to help you.”
“What has he told you?” Ryo wanted to know.
“That you have some problems… well, concerning your love life,” Koichi stated vaguely.
Ryo sighed. “Did he specify?”
“Enough for me to get a picture,” Koichi admitted.
“This is too embarrassing,” Ryo stated miserably, shaking his head.
“No, it’s…” Koichi thought about those words, then revised, “Okay, of course, it’ll be embarrassing for you,” he agreed. “But… it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Every couple has problems like that once in a while.” He smiled genuinely at the younger man. "Look, why don’t I take you to dinner and we talk properly?”

Ryo’s eyes grew wide. “Really?”
“Really,” Koichi nodded. “I’ll just call in at home quickly, so that Tsuyoshi won’t be worried, or something. Anything particular that you want to eat?”
“Ano…” Ryo mused. “Omuraisu,” he chirped out. “That would be cool.”
“Then that’s what you shall get,” Koichi smiled. “I’ll just very quickly do my phone call, okay?”
“Okay,” Ryo nodded.

______________________________________________________________________________________

About fifteen minutes later they were sitting in a restaurant, waiting for their food.
“Wow, I’ve never been to such a western style place,” Ryo stated, looking around in awe.
“They have some good sauce in here. You can even choose double,” Koichi told him. “The food’s really good too.”
“This is a first too,” Ryo stated with a smile. When Koichi merely blinked at him, he explained. “You’ve never taken me out for dinner.”
“I wouldn’t think so,” Koichi laughed nervously. “I don’t really take younger ones out. I’m not that kind of senior. As compared to…”
Ryo shifted nervously at that.
“Well, since we’re already here, maybe you should talk?” Koichi offered.
The younger man sighed. “Well, I don’t know how much you really know already. It’s been difficult between me and Takki. He just… I don’t know how to say it.”
“You should say it the way it is,” Koichi told him. “There’s nothing wrong with stating facts.”

“Okay, well,” Ryo muttered, licking his lips, “I like having sex with him. It’s very… intense. Just that I haven’t…” he broke off again.
“You’ve got to learn to voice things,” Koichi told him. “If you can’t it’ll be bad for you. It’s something I had to learn for myself as well, you know. I’m not a man who is good with words, but in the end, if you always just keep everything inside you’re gonna burst some day. And above all things you might be thinking about now, be it whether it’s embarrassing, or how you feel it’s inappropriate, you have to consider this one thing: He cannot look inside your head.”
“I know that,” Ryo waved him off.
“Really?” Koichi pressed the point. “Because it’s often that these kind of romantic ideas get in the way. They’ll make you think he’ll just miraculously feel when something is bothering you and then he’d read it from the cards what it is. No such thing happens in real life.”

“You always keep saying you and Tsuyoshi don’t need any words,” Ryo countered.
Koichi smiled at that. “Well, Tsuyoshi, you know, he is just not from this world. And it’s not true that we don’t need any words. Not many words maybe, but we need them too. It’s something he has taught me.”
“But even so… I’d feel bad - especially after all this time. I’ve kept silent about it until now, so how can I suddenly…?”
“I understand how you’re feeling,” Koichi nodded. “You know, I kept doing the very same thing and in the end my relationship almost got destroyed by it.”
Ryo blinked at that.
“Remember how I said you’ll bust?”
The younger man nodded.

“Well, that’s just what happened between us,” Koichi explained. “We totally clashed. And I will tell you something now, something that solved this matter between us once and for all. We had this terrible fight and everything that had been pent up came out and then at the end Tsuyoshi told me he was furious with me for keeping all these things from him. He said it was the worst to just let him continue hurting me with things he was completely unaware of.” Koichi made a short pause to check the other’s reaction. Sure enough Ryo blinked in surprise at the statement. “I was totally shocked,” Koichi finally continued, “and only then I realized that while I was so occupied with dealing with my own shit I totally didn’t consider how he felt about it.

As I said, it was a close shave. I had to promise him that I’ll never keep such things inside again. It’s still difficult, sometimes, to talk about certain stuff, but I always remind myself how important it is for Tsuyoshi to know what’s going on in my world.” He paused again, before continuing in a calmer voice. “So, what do you think? Don’t you think Takizawa would feel the very same way? That he would hate it, if he knew that there’s something bothering you so much and he can’t do anything, because he simply doesn’t know?”
Ryo thought about that for a while. He didn’t even notice the dishes arriving as he just kept staring at the table.
“I guess… he would feel that way,” he finally mumbled.
“Of course, he would,” Koichi confirmed. “So, the only thing you can do is to finally bring everything out and solve the matter.”

“It’s been so long, though,” Ryo stated, shaking his head. “What if he gets mad at me? What if we end up fighting?”
“If you’re afraid of fighting, you can’t have much confidence in your relationship,” Koichi told him.
“Eh?”
“Fighting is a good thing, if it’s done reasonably.”
“How can you fight reasonably?” Ryo asked, sounding sceptical.
“You just learn how to do that,” Koichi assured him.
“What if I don’t?”
“Then most probably your relationship won’t last,” the smaller man stated simply. “But it won’t last much longer either if you keep things as they are. As it is Takizawa is already wrapped up in fantasies about you going after other men.”

Ryo stared at him. “What?!”
“I’m sorry,” Koichi apologized. “I saw you the other night with Uchi and somehow Takizawa and I talked just randomly. I didn’t know he had no idea…”
“This is such a mess,” Ryo whined.
“Which is why you should eat up and then go home to set everything clear again,” Koichi told him encouragingly. “You will see, it’ll turn out alright. Takizawa is an impulsive guy, but he’s not unreasonable and he sure loves you.”
Ryo smiled at bit at that. “Okay. Thank you so much.”
“Never mention it,” Koichi waved him off. “And I mean that. Not a word to Takizawa. If he learns I got involved in his relationship, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Got it,” Ryo grinned and finally started to eat.

___________________________________________________________________________________

*sighs* I can't believe it's this long. @_@ Here's Part 2