.
To be clear:
My last entry, referring to not being happy in fandom, had absolutely nothing to do with my friends' list. I love everyone on my friends' list, and they have always been the most wonderful people I have ever known, and nothing will stop me from loving them.
There should also be a distinction here about me not actually giving a fuck who anyone ships. I don't need to know who you ship or why to talk to you. I love talking about characters and plot arcs and canon background and character development, and a lot of this weaves in and out of shipping, but these things are not the same, it's possible for me to agree on one point but not another. Fandom didn't stop making me happy because there weren't enough people shipping what I did - it was more about people I could really truly talk to about these wonderful things, and who was willing to talk to me. It sort of feels like I'm in a high school class talking about the basketball game last night when everyone else is talking about the party afterwards I didn't go to because I wasn't invited.
My last entry, when I referred to achieving more than my peers - I was referring to my high school graduating class, those people I run into at Wal-Mart or make awkward eye contact with at the Dollar General or hear about having babies. It also sort of refers to SMC. I mean, not reaaaally, because lots of people from SMC are super successful, but I want to be one of the really, really successful ones. In the realm of the alumni that work at Random House Publishing. Not one of the people who marry a ND man, possibly work as a teacher or a stay at home mom. Not because it's bad, or because I don't want an ND man (maybe) but because it's not what I want.
I just wanted to be extremely clear, because three of the people I love the most have taken me off of their friends' lists. And I couldn't bear to lose any more of you.
I feel like most of you already know those things (know me) .... but apparently some of you don't.