The Real World is REAL Rough
So it turns out, life's rough.
People don't want to be saints, in fact they don't know if they even want to think about God. They definitely don't want to talk about Him positively or pray. Turns out the world is bigger than I thought and well I am all alone...at least in my wanting to be a saint.
I want to live a quiet, holy life. I want to serve others. I want to love the unlovable. I want to tell people about Christ. I want to be the best person I can be.
I don't want to be alone. I don't want to cry at night. I don't want to sin. In fact, I don't want to be tempted. I am alone here. I cry at night. I sin. I am tempted. I wonder why I ever thought that I could do this. I wonder why I threw my life away. Then I remember...I didn't
I didn't throw it away. I wasn't happy. I wasn't living. I was surviving. So I abandoned my life to Him. That meant giving away little things and big things, but I did it for Him.
I want to be obedient unto death. I die a little everyday...He must increase, I must decrease...Not so that I am no longer Sarah, just so that when people look at me they see Christ living in me. He is my joy, my hope, my salvation. He is my strength, my refuge, my hope. I want to spend my day contemplating His Majesty. I want to listen for His call.
The bad news is...our Chapel is empty
The good news is...I get all the one on one time I can get
I understand the struggles now
I understand the weakness now
I understand the loneliness now
I understand the temptations now
I understand the failures now
I understand
I don't understand throwing everything away
I don't understand facing the King of Kings and walking away
I just don't understand you, me, all of us, everyday
I don't understand how He loves us anyway
I don't understand
I cannot even bare the thought of dragging myself before Him sometimes, but I do
I drag myself in shame to His feet and rest there, because I cannot bare the thought of being anywhere else
I pray for hope, for undying love, for strength, and for courage so that we call all be our very best and live a life full of love, peace, and joy
To have courage for whatever comes in life - everything lies in that.
Saint Teresa of Avila
People don't want to be saints, in fact they don't know if they even want to think about God. They definitely don't want to talk about Him positively or pray. Turns out the world is bigger than I thought and well I am all alone...at least in my wanting to be a saint.
I want to live a quiet, holy life. I want to serve others. I want to love the unlovable. I want to tell people about Christ. I want to be the best person I can be.
I don't want to be alone. I don't want to cry at night. I don't want to sin. In fact, I don't want to be tempted. I am alone here. I cry at night. I sin. I am tempted. I wonder why I ever thought that I could do this. I wonder why I threw my life away. Then I remember...I didn't
I didn't throw it away. I wasn't happy. I wasn't living. I was surviving. So I abandoned my life to Him. That meant giving away little things and big things, but I did it for Him.
I want to be obedient unto death. I die a little everyday...He must increase, I must decrease...Not so that I am no longer Sarah, just so that when people look at me they see Christ living in me. He is my joy, my hope, my salvation. He is my strength, my refuge, my hope. I want to spend my day contemplating His Majesty. I want to listen for His call.
The bad news is...our Chapel is empty
The good news is...I get all the one on one time I can get
I understand the struggles now
I understand the weakness now
I understand the loneliness now
I understand the temptations now
I understand the failures now
I understand
I don't understand throwing everything away
I don't understand facing the King of Kings and walking away
I just don't understand you, me, all of us, everyday
I don't understand how He loves us anyway
I don't understand
I cannot even bare the thought of dragging myself before Him sometimes, but I do
I drag myself in shame to His feet and rest there, because I cannot bare the thought of being anywhere else
I pray for hope, for undying love, for strength, and for courage so that we call all be our very best and live a life full of love, peace, and joy
To have courage for whatever comes in life - everything lies in that.
Saint Teresa of Avila