LGC to SJBW
Wouldn't it be nice if life was pie and delicious with a touch of bitterness with ice cream on top?
I wish I would stop being so sad. I'm tired of moping, complaining, crying, thinking. I've exhausted my brain to the point where I can't think anymore, and I just don't know what to decide. Although, one decision that I DID make is that I'm going to live life day by day. I'm not just saying that, I'm actually going to make a futile effort.. not futile.. but an effort. I want to try and succeed, at least that much. If I don't, then I'm going to be stuck home, gazing at his picture on my wall, wishing lyrics to a song I'll never write would come to me.
I'm in love with the idea of him. And his love. That's all it is. And that realization is making things so much harder to move on. I've written so much about it.. my only wish is that he could actually hear what I've been thinking and what I have to say.
I think his leaving is beneficial.. I'm saying that now, but I doubt I'll be thinking that tomorrow. I bet I'll return back to just missing him and crying, selfishly, over my own impatience.
I want school to start, only so my mind is distracted. Tonight, I'm going to try and telepathically send him my thoughts. I'm not even joking. It's that important.
I think while he's gone, I'm going to focus on becoming Buddhist.
Fuck.
Life in a fishbowl: The water's big, blue, fresh, new... I'm just too scared to try it.
I wish I would stop being so sad. I'm tired of moping, complaining, crying, thinking. I've exhausted my brain to the point where I can't think anymore, and I just don't know what to decide. Although, one decision that I DID make is that I'm going to live life day by day. I'm not just saying that, I'm actually going to make a futile effort.. not futile.. but an effort. I want to try and succeed, at least that much. If I don't, then I'm going to be stuck home, gazing at his picture on my wall, wishing lyrics to a song I'll never write would come to me.
I'm in love with the idea of him. And his love. That's all it is. And that realization is making things so much harder to move on. I've written so much about it.. my only wish is that he could actually hear what I've been thinking and what I have to say.
I think his leaving is beneficial.. I'm saying that now, but I doubt I'll be thinking that tomorrow. I bet I'll return back to just missing him and crying, selfishly, over my own impatience.
I want school to start, only so my mind is distracted. Tonight, I'm going to try and telepathically send him my thoughts. I'm not even joking. It's that important.
I think while he's gone, I'm going to focus on becoming Buddhist.
Fuck.
Life in a fishbowl: The water's big, blue, fresh, new... I'm just too scared to try it.