ramblings
i dont know if anyone reads this anymore or if i even care if they do. i have always enjoyed keeping a journal and i think it maybe easier to type than to hand write, although some of the feeling and the closeness is left out in typing.
i find my life is odd these days. i have spent so much of my time alone now that it is hard to remember what it was like to be in a 'together' mode. we called ourselves 'team us' and i really did believe that in everything we did, it was for the better of the team. i like that. i like having someone else to think about when i make a decision about something or plans for the day. i don't even mind the 'man' and 'woman' work. i like to do laundry and make a house clean and cook and iron. i really like to iron and vacuum. i really don't like to do yard work and take out the trash. i desperately want a family and children and dogs and cats and whatever the kids bring home.
but then that is not what my life is. i have learned to find contentment in the little things. doing well at work or even thumbing my nose at the man. playing fetch with my cats. reading a book and being quiet. i don't really go out with friends much, but it is fun when i do. watching my sister grow up and seeing her not make the same mistakes i did. I have actually learned to just be quiet and be content with that. i have cut out a lot of the drama in my life. my actual life is very boring. i wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, go to sleep. i find that i like not having the drama and i like the quiet. i wonder if i am in danger of becoming a hermit because of it. but then i guess i'd have to care. maybe im just one of those people who are meant to be alone. or maybe my partner is out there somewhere and we will be together one day.
i am moving downtown birmingham in two weeks. i am moving into a loft and am very happy with that. i signed a one year lease and cannot get out of it so i'll be there for at least a year. i love walking around and looking at all the people and the old buildings. i love history so much and imagining what went on in those old buildings and who the people were and what it used to be like. i think i will trade my new suv in in 6 months or so and get something smaller and more fuel efficient.
life is life. its not that big of a deal. you just do it and then it's done.
i find my life is odd these days. i have spent so much of my time alone now that it is hard to remember what it was like to be in a 'together' mode. we called ourselves 'team us' and i really did believe that in everything we did, it was for the better of the team. i like that. i like having someone else to think about when i make a decision about something or plans for the day. i don't even mind the 'man' and 'woman' work. i like to do laundry and make a house clean and cook and iron. i really like to iron and vacuum. i really don't like to do yard work and take out the trash. i desperately want a family and children and dogs and cats and whatever the kids bring home.
but then that is not what my life is. i have learned to find contentment in the little things. doing well at work or even thumbing my nose at the man. playing fetch with my cats. reading a book and being quiet. i don't really go out with friends much, but it is fun when i do. watching my sister grow up and seeing her not make the same mistakes i did. I have actually learned to just be quiet and be content with that. i have cut out a lot of the drama in my life. my actual life is very boring. i wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, go to sleep. i find that i like not having the drama and i like the quiet. i wonder if i am in danger of becoming a hermit because of it. but then i guess i'd have to care. maybe im just one of those people who are meant to be alone. or maybe my partner is out there somewhere and we will be together one day.
i am moving downtown birmingham in two weeks. i am moving into a loft and am very happy with that. i signed a one year lease and cannot get out of it so i'll be there for at least a year. i love walking around and looking at all the people and the old buildings. i love history so much and imagining what went on in those old buildings and who the people were and what it used to be like. i think i will trade my new suv in in 6 months or so and get something smaller and more fuel efficient.
life is life. its not that big of a deal. you just do it and then it's done.