AIDS awareness day...Rosa Parks...Evil Kinevil...Urban Craft Uprising...
Snow Day...all of these things together...I woke up on fire this morning...wanting to change the world. I want to find something I can obsess about....something REAL, a cause I can get behind. I miss being busy @ school. I don't have enough outlets..writing/drawing/dancing/reading are all great but something is missing in my life. I spent all morning applying for volunteer opportunities @ idealist.org and reading worldchanging.org. I love these days of crazy motivation. I called Brenden briefly, he was going to some artist/drawing marathon. He has a good way of leveling me. Even though we're not dating anymore I def. want to keep him in my life. He makes me feel better and "normal" for being so manic sometimes. I went to the urban craft uprising w/ Aaron and got some cool rings...but he was very discouraging, he was all wrapped up in finding some mythical perfect girl and fullfilling sex. Which is fine, but he was so cynical, saying the crafts weren't real fashion and badtalking all those on myspace(HI, half your friends are on myspace..the REAL ones). He can be really draining when he's in a bad mood.
It sucks coordinating w/ people..I called Chaos, Cari, Margaret and no one got back to me at all...but then Steve, Becca & Mike dnb have been calling all the time and I just don't have any desire to talk to them. Of course Steve was freaking me out when I was on acid w/ him last time, and the last time I hung out w/ Mike he got kicked out of the Croc and the last time I hung out w/ Becca she acted like she was mad at me the whole time. AHHH, I want to go back to Hawaii or throw my phone out the window.
Thank goodness for Amy & Emily for being awesome friends. I kinda was freaking out last night, I felt bad cause I was distant, but after the Dodo's show(AMAZING HIGH), Le Savvy Fav's crowd kinda freaked me out, then I got too drunk, and felt like my life isn't what I want it to be. So i went home. Jo Greely is moving to Oli, I'll miss him, he always is a good listener and pretty positive. The Dodo's are amazing...I can't believe they put me on the list as well as Val & Emily, they're super nice and literally the best musicians I've encountered in years. I'm developing a crush on Meric which is dangerous, I'm trying to stifle it.
I want to be more than a consumer, defining my daily chores by where I go to consciously buy things. Buying local, organic, travelling, supporting local artists...all $$$. I want to volunteer more. I am a little tonight, walking a dog @ 9, but I want to do more. I keep playing phone tag w/ Rave from Revolution Books...I feel like the pieces should have fallen in place by now. I'm just being impatient.
I need a focus/direction in life. Why are we here? Hedonism? Moral/Intellectual improvement? Creation(Art/Music/Babies)? I've always been a jack of all traits, but I need to focus if I want to become successful in....??art/environmental studies/activism/women's rights???I feel like I'm just wasting time right now. Even though a job I love, which I have now, is hard to find. I don't know. Must go eat Tillamook cheese...there the answer will lie!
It sucks coordinating w/ people..I called Chaos, Cari, Margaret and no one got back to me at all...but then Steve, Becca & Mike dnb have been calling all the time and I just don't have any desire to talk to them. Of course Steve was freaking me out when I was on acid w/ him last time, and the last time I hung out w/ Mike he got kicked out of the Croc and the last time I hung out w/ Becca she acted like she was mad at me the whole time. AHHH, I want to go back to Hawaii or throw my phone out the window.
Thank goodness for Amy & Emily for being awesome friends. I kinda was freaking out last night, I felt bad cause I was distant, but after the Dodo's show(AMAZING HIGH), Le Savvy Fav's crowd kinda freaked me out, then I got too drunk, and felt like my life isn't what I want it to be. So i went home. Jo Greely is moving to Oli, I'll miss him, he always is a good listener and pretty positive. The Dodo's are amazing...I can't believe they put me on the list as well as Val & Emily, they're super nice and literally the best musicians I've encountered in years. I'm developing a crush on Meric which is dangerous, I'm trying to stifle it.
I want to be more than a consumer, defining my daily chores by where I go to consciously buy things. Buying local, organic, travelling, supporting local artists...all $$$. I want to volunteer more. I am a little tonight, walking a dog @ 9, but I want to do more. I keep playing phone tag w/ Rave from Revolution Books...I feel like the pieces should have fallen in place by now. I'm just being impatient.
I need a focus/direction in life. Why are we here? Hedonism? Moral/Intellectual improvement? Creation(Art/Music/Babies)? I've always been a jack of all traits, but I need to focus if I want to become successful in....??art/environmental studies/activism/women's rights???I feel like I'm just wasting time right now. Even though a job I love, which I have now, is hard to find. I don't know. Must go eat Tillamook cheese...there the answer will lie!