Fic: Driving Lessons
Title: Driving Lessons
Category: Missing Scene (1969); friendship; humor
Rating: All ages
Word Count: <1400
Summary: Daniel proposes a productive distraction when the team is trapped back in time.
Author's Notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY moonshayde! This isn't the fic you asked for, but that's turned into ficzilla, so I hope you accept this prezzie instead. It's got all three of your favorite boys, at least. Thanks to astrumporta for the last minute beta!
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters and settings are the property of MGM, Double Secret, Gekko Productions, and a host of other people who are NOT ME! No copyright infringement or monetary gain is expressed or implied.
At first, Jack tried to teach Teal'c to drive. As Daniel pointed out, it was the perfect opportunity: "Open roads, little traffic. I can't think of a more perfect place or time for Teal'c to learn. Jack, you're the one always trying to find ways for Teal'c to acclimatize to our culture. What could be better?"
So Jack took on the duty to give lessons. Unfortunately, his and Teal'c's similar personalities clashed before they could even get the car out of gear. Teal'c approached driving as he would flying. He soon learned a bus was not a death glider. And the patience Jack usually showed when teaching the kids at Cassie's school was nowhere to be seen. It ended up sounding more like basic training for a novice recruit. Tempers immediately flared.
"No! Not that! You have to release the clutch and..."
"O'Neill. I no longer have the pedal depressed." Teal'c's tone implied soon heads would roll.
Jack was oblivious. "But don't do it until after...wait-wait! Don't...!"
The bus stalled out. Again. Michael was very philosophical about it as he crawled out of his bunk. "Gotta love the machine, dude. And it'll love you," he said as he headed out to check under the hood, a plastic container and funnel in his hand. "And keeping extra motor oil in the back also helps."
"Indeed." Teal'c raised his eyebrow at this strange commentary. After Michael started tinkering under the hood, he turned accusingly to O'Neill. "This vehicle is most primitive."
"And if you would hit the gas and release the clutch when I tell you..." Jack countered. "You're not listening to me!"
"I have been operating more highly advanced machinery since before your father...."
"There's...more advanced models out there, and especially...back home." Sam was trying to diffuse the situation and warn the irate men that they had to watch their language. Jenny was still inside the bus and watching them with bemusement. Sam seemed to decide discretion was the better part of valor as she put on her sunglasses. "I'm sure the engine's just flooded," she muttered as she joined Michael outside.
Teal'c still looked angry. In a lower voice he leaned closer to O'Neill. "Do you mean to imply I am incapable of learning the fundamentals of this equipment?"
Jack took a deep breath and tried to calm down. A wise move since it looked like Teal'c was ready to pull out the gear shift and make new use of it as a club. "No. But I'm starting to be convinced this is not the best time or place after all. If a cop decides to check on this lurching ride..."
Now some of Jack's anxiety was finally explained. Teal'c's driving lessons were not necessarily low profile.
"It just needs some patience, Jack." Daniel realized as soon as he said that, he was asking for something in short supply from their commander. Jack had been in a foul mood ever since they'd come back in time. Fear they wouldn't get back ate at all of them, but responsibility for them all was especially eating at O'Neill. Daniel thought the driving lessons would be a diversion, instead it was already exacerbating a stressful situation.
Daniel decided to take matters into his own hands. "I'll teach Teal'c."
The surprised expressions of his teammates startled him. "What?"
Jack finally stopped gaping. "It's just...I mean, out of all of us, Daniel..."
"What? I have teaching experience."
"Of college lectures, not driver's ed." Jack shook his head.
"Just because I'm not a pilot doesn't mean I'm a complete moron when it comes to operating vehicles." Daniel was insulted.
Jack raised his hands to pacify Daniel. Perhaps they were all still too much on edge. "I'm not saying that. But like Michael said, this is a tricky machine. I learned that when I drove the last two hundred miles. Are you sure you..."
"Can handle it?" Daniel challenged.
"I didn't say that."
"You just implied it..."
Jack shrugged.
"You'd be surprised the contraptions I've driven. Working on international digs makes you not very picky for any kind of car you can find. Michael's bus is a luxury vehicle."
"All right!" Jack held up his hands in surrender. "But I'm not going to be the one fixing Michael's bus after T strips the gear shift. I've taken two turns under the engine, and the novelty has worn off."
So that's how Daniel ended up teaching Teal'c to drive. After all, it was his idea in the first place. He and Teal'c had taught each other languages. They had a good dynamic in those roles.
Unfortunately, teaching the mechanics of driving was not the same as comparing the alphabets of Linear A and Goa'uld dialects.
They had told Michael and Jenny that Teal'c was from Africa as a way to explain his ignorance of some cultural faux pas...like the war with Canada. It also gave Daniel an excuse to talk to Teal'c in his native "African" tongue. It helped in some respects, but in other ways, not at all. Daniel quickly realized there was no word in the Jaffa language for "gently". Jaffa did nothing half-way. Teal'c's movements were quick, sharp and always forceful.
Daniel had to bite his lip to stop from jumping every time Teal'c got a bit too aggressive with the controls. As it was, he said "kree" probably more often than was necessary, trying to ignore Jack's knowing chuckle from the back.
What ended up working best was Daniel shifting gears on the temperamental bus while Teal'c managed the pedals and steering. As Teal'c mastered the more basic controls, Daniel explained when he was shifting up and down, watching for moments when the highway was especially clear.
The moment of truth was when released his hold on the gear shift, letting Teal'c get used to the feel of the stick under his hand. There were some rough moments. Teal'c was a fighter pilot used to working with more intuitive controls, the rougher gears of the bus took some handling. Daniel prayed Teal'c didn't break the shaft off, but Teal'c's watching Daniel's movements earlier seemed to pay off.
It was only after Teal'c insisted on pulling the bus into and out of a tricky parking lot at the latest pit stop that Daniel stopped holding his breath. There was only one moment where Teal'c was in fourth gear instead of reverse, but he adjusted before Daniel could say a word.
While the others were asleep, Teal'c turned to Daniel, a rare grin on his face. "You have been an excellent teacher, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel shrugged, but couldn't prevent a small smile. "I figure it's better than having you learn on base. The mountain road and our speeding-ticket friendly MPs would make things difficult. You'll be able to ask General Hammond to let you take a driver's test when we get back."
He purposefully stated "when", not "if". Teaching Teal'c to drive had been more of a challenge than Daniel had believed. Now that it was done, he felt unrealistically hopeful the rest of their mission would be successful.
They were interrupted by Jack, adopting a whiny voice. "Are we there yet?"
"Why do you persist on saying that every hundred miles, O'Neill?"
"It's an old joke, Teal'c. Said by whiny children to annoy the driver." Jack clapped Teal'c on the shoulder and crouched between his and Daniel's seats. "Smooth ride. I've been asleep for a couple hours."
Daniel wondered how true that really was, but Teal'c nodded in acknowledgment of Jack's praise.
Jack pestered all the same, "Seriously, though, how much further?"
Daniel spotted a sign showing Philadelphia was less than ten miles away. "Not far now."
Perhaps Jack felt that spirit of renewed hope as well. He rubbed his hands together and mimicked one of those cartoon characters from the show he loved "Excellent. Find a place we can camp, Daniel. It think we could all do to stretch our legs."
Daniel nodded and started watching for campsite signs. Today he and Teal'c mastered the small mission, tomorrow they would find Catherine. And hopefully figure out a way home.
Fin.
Category: Missing Scene (1969); friendship; humor
Rating: All ages
Word Count: <1400
Summary: Daniel proposes a productive distraction when the team is trapped back in time.
Author's Notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY moonshayde! This isn't the fic you asked for, but that's turned into ficzilla, so I hope you accept this prezzie instead. It's got all three of your favorite boys, at least. Thanks to astrumporta for the last minute beta!
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters and settings are the property of MGM, Double Secret, Gekko Productions, and a host of other people who are NOT ME! No copyright infringement or monetary gain is expressed or implied.
At first, Jack tried to teach Teal'c to drive. As Daniel pointed out, it was the perfect opportunity: "Open roads, little traffic. I can't think of a more perfect place or time for Teal'c to learn. Jack, you're the one always trying to find ways for Teal'c to acclimatize to our culture. What could be better?"
So Jack took on the duty to give lessons. Unfortunately, his and Teal'c's similar personalities clashed before they could even get the car out of gear. Teal'c approached driving as he would flying. He soon learned a bus was not a death glider. And the patience Jack usually showed when teaching the kids at Cassie's school was nowhere to be seen. It ended up sounding more like basic training for a novice recruit. Tempers immediately flared.
"No! Not that! You have to release the clutch and..."
"O'Neill. I no longer have the pedal depressed." Teal'c's tone implied soon heads would roll.
Jack was oblivious. "But don't do it until after...wait-wait! Don't...!"
The bus stalled out. Again. Michael was very philosophical about it as he crawled out of his bunk. "Gotta love the machine, dude. And it'll love you," he said as he headed out to check under the hood, a plastic container and funnel in his hand. "And keeping extra motor oil in the back also helps."
"Indeed." Teal'c raised his eyebrow at this strange commentary. After Michael started tinkering under the hood, he turned accusingly to O'Neill. "This vehicle is most primitive."
"And if you would hit the gas and release the clutch when I tell you..." Jack countered. "You're not listening to me!"
"I have been operating more highly advanced machinery since before your father...."
"There's...more advanced models out there, and especially...back home." Sam was trying to diffuse the situation and warn the irate men that they had to watch their language. Jenny was still inside the bus and watching them with bemusement. Sam seemed to decide discretion was the better part of valor as she put on her sunglasses. "I'm sure the engine's just flooded," she muttered as she joined Michael outside.
Teal'c still looked angry. In a lower voice he leaned closer to O'Neill. "Do you mean to imply I am incapable of learning the fundamentals of this equipment?"
Jack took a deep breath and tried to calm down. A wise move since it looked like Teal'c was ready to pull out the gear shift and make new use of it as a club. "No. But I'm starting to be convinced this is not the best time or place after all. If a cop decides to check on this lurching ride..."
Now some of Jack's anxiety was finally explained. Teal'c's driving lessons were not necessarily low profile.
"It just needs some patience, Jack." Daniel realized as soon as he said that, he was asking for something in short supply from their commander. Jack had been in a foul mood ever since they'd come back in time. Fear they wouldn't get back ate at all of them, but responsibility for them all was especially eating at O'Neill. Daniel thought the driving lessons would be a diversion, instead it was already exacerbating a stressful situation.
Daniel decided to take matters into his own hands. "I'll teach Teal'c."
The surprised expressions of his teammates startled him. "What?"
Jack finally stopped gaping. "It's just...I mean, out of all of us, Daniel..."
"What? I have teaching experience."
"Of college lectures, not driver's ed." Jack shook his head.
"Just because I'm not a pilot doesn't mean I'm a complete moron when it comes to operating vehicles." Daniel was insulted.
Jack raised his hands to pacify Daniel. Perhaps they were all still too much on edge. "I'm not saying that. But like Michael said, this is a tricky machine. I learned that when I drove the last two hundred miles. Are you sure you..."
"Can handle it?" Daniel challenged.
"I didn't say that."
"You just implied it..."
Jack shrugged.
"You'd be surprised the contraptions I've driven. Working on international digs makes you not very picky for any kind of car you can find. Michael's bus is a luxury vehicle."
"All right!" Jack held up his hands in surrender. "But I'm not going to be the one fixing Michael's bus after T strips the gear shift. I've taken two turns under the engine, and the novelty has worn off."
So that's how Daniel ended up teaching Teal'c to drive. After all, it was his idea in the first place. He and Teal'c had taught each other languages. They had a good dynamic in those roles.
Unfortunately, teaching the mechanics of driving was not the same as comparing the alphabets of Linear A and Goa'uld dialects.
They had told Michael and Jenny that Teal'c was from Africa as a way to explain his ignorance of some cultural faux pas...like the war with Canada. It also gave Daniel an excuse to talk to Teal'c in his native "African" tongue. It helped in some respects, but in other ways, not at all. Daniel quickly realized there was no word in the Jaffa language for "gently". Jaffa did nothing half-way. Teal'c's movements were quick, sharp and always forceful.
Daniel had to bite his lip to stop from jumping every time Teal'c got a bit too aggressive with the controls. As it was, he said "kree" probably more often than was necessary, trying to ignore Jack's knowing chuckle from the back.
What ended up working best was Daniel shifting gears on the temperamental bus while Teal'c managed the pedals and steering. As Teal'c mastered the more basic controls, Daniel explained when he was shifting up and down, watching for moments when the highway was especially clear.
The moment of truth was when released his hold on the gear shift, letting Teal'c get used to the feel of the stick under his hand. There were some rough moments. Teal'c was a fighter pilot used to working with more intuitive controls, the rougher gears of the bus took some handling. Daniel prayed Teal'c didn't break the shaft off, but Teal'c's watching Daniel's movements earlier seemed to pay off.
It was only after Teal'c insisted on pulling the bus into and out of a tricky parking lot at the latest pit stop that Daniel stopped holding his breath. There was only one moment where Teal'c was in fourth gear instead of reverse, but he adjusted before Daniel could say a word.
While the others were asleep, Teal'c turned to Daniel, a rare grin on his face. "You have been an excellent teacher, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel shrugged, but couldn't prevent a small smile. "I figure it's better than having you learn on base. The mountain road and our speeding-ticket friendly MPs would make things difficult. You'll be able to ask General Hammond to let you take a driver's test when we get back."
He purposefully stated "when", not "if". Teaching Teal'c to drive had been more of a challenge than Daniel had believed. Now that it was done, he felt unrealistically hopeful the rest of their mission would be successful.
They were interrupted by Jack, adopting a whiny voice. "Are we there yet?"
"Why do you persist on saying that every hundred miles, O'Neill?"
"It's an old joke, Teal'c. Said by whiny children to annoy the driver." Jack clapped Teal'c on the shoulder and crouched between his and Daniel's seats. "Smooth ride. I've been asleep for a couple hours."
Daniel wondered how true that really was, but Teal'c nodded in acknowledgment of Jack's praise.
Jack pestered all the same, "Seriously, though, how much further?"
Daniel spotted a sign showing Philadelphia was less than ten miles away. "Not far now."
Perhaps Jack felt that spirit of renewed hope as well. He rubbed his hands together and mimicked one of those cartoon characters from the show he loved "Excellent. Find a place we can camp, Daniel. It think we could all do to stretch our legs."
Daniel nodded and started watching for campsite signs. Today he and Teal'c mastered the small mission, tomorrow they would find Catherine. And hopefully figure out a way home.
Fin.