Fangirl Infidelity...fact or fiction?

[aurora_0811]

OMG A POST!   It's been awhile (as usual) since I've checked in with the flist so I thought I would say hello and discuss/diagnose my fangirl problem.

Comments

[scifishipper]

I would love love love to have another OTP that fight for my heart the way Kara and Lee do. I'd say consider yourself BLESSED that you can find joy in a ship that pulls in you just as fiercely. I keep searching, bb. I really really do. I am completely smitten with Peter/Olivia but I read fanfiction and it's all, well, IDK, tame and calm and sweet. Maybe if Peter and Olivia punched each other once in a while, I'd be more on board. :P (SACRILEGE!!) IDK. I guess that intensity and angst is just what gets my heart pumping in the morning.

I have to admit that I was THISCLOSE to those feelings about Rose/Ten. And then Ten2 came along and everything got sewn up in a way that I found ultimately satisfying. I didn't need more, there was nothing to fix. They were never cruel to each other, never broke each other's hearts, never left to marry others. Kara and Lee are frakked up. They barely functioned as individuals sometimes, let alone a couple (not that the show ever let them be). I think if Ten2 had never come along, I would have grieved deeply for Rose and would have ended up being more fannish about it. But I am not.

I also adore John/Aeryn, but again, their story is very well resolved and their angst was sweet and perfect. But they ended in a fantastic place. Nothing to work on there, either. IDK. Shipping is what it is. When it grabs your heart you really just don't have a choice.

SHIP THEM BOTH. LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM BOTH. Enjoy the peace and happiness you get from Rose/Ten! Pilots are draining and heartbreaking and sometimes I don't even know why I torture myself EXCEPT THAT I CAN'T QUIT THEM. If you can quit them...IDK, I'm kinda jealous.

<3<3<3<3<3

[aurora_0811]

The angst is absolutely made me a pilot shipper. It was that intense history and the pain and all that wondering just how the hell they were going to get around it. I lived on pins and needles always trying to figure out how to make it right. So I 100% agree with you about loving a ship so much more when there are things "to fix". It's definitely one of the main reasons I think so many of us stuck around after the finale. We couldn't accept it and as a community we found a way to give us what we needed with fic and commiserating.

I find it extremely interesting that because Rose/Ten was "fixed" by the end that you don't feel the feelings. Fangirling is so funny like that. I think maybe the reason I do feel so crazy for them is because I don't consider it a perfectly happy ending. It was a happy ending with a twist. The real Doctor is still somewhere out there missing his Rose but part of him is really happy that a piece of him is with her and that's so positively heartbreaking to me. He's moved on because he has to but we all know that there's a big part of him in whatever regeneration that will always think of her.

That's not to say the way you feel about it isn't valid because it totally is. I kind of wish I felt that way about them and maybe I could move on. hee! I just think that there's still a bunch of angst left in their story. Ten2 is him but isn't him, how would Rose cope? How would Ten2 cope? So many what if's about how hard they would probably have to work at their happy ending! All the things that could come along and frak it up, included the original Doctor himself. I love shows that make me think and get lost in the mythos/universe (which is exactly what BSG has always done for me).

Farscape was the first show I watched after BSG and it was totally what I needed. A ship with plenty of angst but was definitely wrapped up in a very neat and tidy package. There's no what-if'ing for me with them at all. They ended on such a glorious note that I'm ok with never wondering about them again. So I definitely get where you're coming from and love that you pointed that out to me. Ships that involve "work" are what will always get me and I need that to feel deeply for them.

I definitely can't quit pilots. They're always going to have my love and the thought of never re-visiting the series or never reading the fic or talking about them again makes me feel very anxious. So I guess that's probably a good sign that whatever this phase is that I'm in, I'll never really be able to leave them behind!

It's probably silly to feel like I'm cheating on pilots but part of me sad that something came along and filled the hole the finale left. Finale!Kara was my Ten2! Lee could have lived with that...I know he could have!

<3 <3 <3 *hugs*

[scifishipper]

I think I'll be really sad, too, if/when another ship comes along and wins my heart. I've only had three REAL ships, ones that I won't ever stop thinking about, even though I never went to such fannish lengths for them: Mulder/Scully, Spike/Buffy, and K/L. I love so many more, but GUH, those are the shit for me. K/L just blows them away. Unfortunately. (fuckers broke my heart)

It's so interesting what you say about Finale!kara and ten2. If Kara hadn't poofed, then she WOULD have been Ten2 and I bet just about every K/L shipper would have been pretty satisfied with it. The problem, I guess, is that Rose and Ten2 both knew. :( I think even if Lee had known, his speech in Islanded took care of it. He didn't care. He loved her.

Shipping is such a magnificent and wrenching thing - I love your whole post. <3<3<3