(no subject)
tick tock. it's 3:52 am. i appreciate that i'm not alone in the library. as a rule, i find empty libraries to be peaceful in a daunting yet holy way. so much knowledge - standing in one stack and thinking how much time it would take you to absorb all that information is humbling and exciting.
however, at 4-am-esque i do not appreciate empty libraries. i find them creepy and i begin to get a little punchy and i wonder if i'm the only person alive and awake and conscious and maybe all that's left of the thinking world is the traces of fleeting thoughts recorded on bound pieces of paper.
but i'm not alone in the library tonight, so it is all good.
i'm actually not too punchy or tired, i'm just a little dazed. my paper is going pretty horribly considering how much time i spent getting ready to write it. but i'm past caring, and not because academic apathy has conquered - but rather, because i'm really pleased with how goddamn much i learned about a topic i wanted to learn about, and it doesn't matter much whether a paper grade proves that i learned. learning for the sake of learning - what? crazy thoughts are entering my head. it must be the hour.
so, classes are officially over. i will be leaving portland in 178.5 hours. man.
a maid is vacuuming. why do they make them work night shifts? fewer students are in here studying at 8 am than they are at 4 am.
i've developed a fondness for the guy sitting behind me. he has a stack of books about nietzsche, a cup of coffee, some red bulls, and some nature valley granola bars. he's in this one for the long haul, and he's keeping me company. i fancy we are unspoken comrades (who cares if he realizes this). plus, guys and philosophy are a pretty hot combination.
i wrote a poem:
i am wasting away my life
over yonder in that ever-droning, never-sleeping building:
fluorescent lights, uncomfortable chairs,
and great sprawling stacks of sliced-up trees.
however, at 4-am-esque i do not appreciate empty libraries. i find them creepy and i begin to get a little punchy and i wonder if i'm the only person alive and awake and conscious and maybe all that's left of the thinking world is the traces of fleeting thoughts recorded on bound pieces of paper.
but i'm not alone in the library tonight, so it is all good.
i'm actually not too punchy or tired, i'm just a little dazed. my paper is going pretty horribly considering how much time i spent getting ready to write it. but i'm past caring, and not because academic apathy has conquered - but rather, because i'm really pleased with how goddamn much i learned about a topic i wanted to learn about, and it doesn't matter much whether a paper grade proves that i learned. learning for the sake of learning - what? crazy thoughts are entering my head. it must be the hour.
so, classes are officially over. i will be leaving portland in 178.5 hours. man.
a maid is vacuuming. why do they make them work night shifts? fewer students are in here studying at 8 am than they are at 4 am.
i've developed a fondness for the guy sitting behind me. he has a stack of books about nietzsche, a cup of coffee, some red bulls, and some nature valley granola bars. he's in this one for the long haul, and he's keeping me company. i fancy we are unspoken comrades (who cares if he realizes this). plus, guys and philosophy are a pretty hot combination.
i wrote a poem:
i am wasting away my life
over yonder in that ever-droning, never-sleeping building:
fluorescent lights, uncomfortable chairs,
and great sprawling stacks of sliced-up trees.