Changes
I think my favourite time of the day is early morning, those moments that could hold a slight confusion about whether it's still night or if daytime has taken over the reins. I think of those precious minutes and if I'm lucky hours as me time. The time that I can think, write or simply be quiet with no other sounds to demand and distract, with no-one's needs to come before my own.
I was enjoying a lovely cup of tea, that perfect first cup of the day and considering as I did just how much life had changed in recent days. Tony had been gone for a week, Annabelle for five days and I was home with my two sets of twins.
It was lovely to spend time with them and also a tad odd, as the only singleton left at home it gave me a little bit of insight as to how Annabelle must often feel. It seemed like everyone else came as part of a set and then there was me. Such thoughts could have made me feel lonely however I decided to view them in a more positive manner and allow myself the luxury of making my own choices and decisions. Although I knew it had the potential to make me feel quite self-indulgent I also knew I wanted to cherish it for a little while.
It was indeed a little while, within moments I heard the patter of little feet and looked up to see Josiah walking towards me with a very serious look on his face.
"Good morning, my darling", I said, "you're up very early. Are you alright?"
"I fink so." he said then shook his head.
I could hear the cogs whirring in his brain and the intense look of concentration told me this was important. Slowly and carefully he repeated himself enunciating each word clearly, "I think so."
The look of triumph on his face was so cute that I wanted to hug him but I sensed this wasn't the time, whatever was on his mind was serious business and I had to act accordingly.
"Is there something on your mind?" I said receiving a puzzled look in reply.
I tried again, "Do you have something you want to ask me or tell me?"
He looked at me uncertainly and it occurred to me that he didn't want to hurt my feelings.
"Would you like some breakfast first?" I said, "I could make you some or we could go and see what Uncle Ravensmoore is making."
"Mummy... I mean Mum, I don't want to be Jojo anymore." He said with increasing speed until the last few words jumbled into one long one.
"Then who do you want to be?" I said.
"I want to be me but big me, I'm four now you know. Jojo is a baby name."
"Well", I said as I wondered where the time had vanished to, "you're certainly not a baby any more."
He smiled obviously relieved, "So you'll call me Josiah?" he said.
"I'll do my best", I said feeling a little bit sad but realising this was important to him, "If I forget sometimes will you be patient with me and forgive me?"
"I think", he said seriously, "that's what bigger boys do and I will try hard, okay?"
"Sounds fair enough to me." I said, "Now how about breakfast?"
"I think I'll go back to bed and wait for Rory." he said, "Mummy, you do get up very early."
He didn't have time to, just as he turned to go back to bed a very sleepy Rory walked in followed by Sarah and Rebecca.
"Why are you strange people up in the middle of the night?" Rebecca said, "You know my teaspoons are going to be doing double duty now, don't you?"
I laughed, both the girls liked to think cold teaspoons pressed to their faces took the puffiness away from around their eyes, I suppose the idea did have merit, I just never saw any evidence of any imperfections to begin with.
"Believe it or not, Becca." I said, "Most people don't consider six in the morning as the middle of the night."
Sarah groaned, "I thought the only people who thought that were vampires." she said.
"And weirdwolves." Rory said with the look of pride that came from knowing such an important fact. "They like night...I think."
"Well it's not night-time and we were just about to get breakfast...well we are now at least." I said, "Anyone who cares to join us is welcome."
Both girls groaned at that and both boys giggled but all four came with me which of course made me laugh too.
Bryony was in the dining room already talking to Ravensmoore and she looked up as we walked it. Her face lit up at the sight of the girls and the boys were happy to see her there and promptly sat across the table from her.
"Good morning, Rory." she said, "Good morning, Jojo. How are you both?"
I waited to see what Josiah would say and wasn't surprised when he didn't say anything apart from, "We're okay. Do you always get up in the middle of the night?"
"You're not a vampire or a weirdwolf, are you Bryony?" Rory said making her look puzzled until he added, "I think they like the middle of the night." which made her laugh.
"No, I just like getting up early", she said, "do you know who else likes night-time?"
"Our mum?"
"No, silly...ghosts, ghosts like night-time, but I'm not one of those either."
"A fact I'm grateful for." I said.
"Aunty Ana!" Bryony said jumping up to hug me, "shall we all have breakfast together?"
"I was just about to suggest that." Ravensmoore said as he brought in a vast array of hearty breakfast fare.
Bryony took charge of seating arrangements and soon was happily seated between Rebecca and Sarah with the boys and me on the other side.
Breakfast was fun, filled with a lot of laughter, strange discussion and more laughter all washed down with delicious food and Ravenmoore's perfect tea.
For a while I was content to sit back and let their conversation and laughter swirl around me, enclosing me like a warm hug. I'd started my day happy with my own company and now here I was in the middle of a loud happy breakfast with some of the people most important to me. I found I loved both, needed both and frankly I wouldn't have it any other way.
I was enjoying a lovely cup of tea, that perfect first cup of the day and considering as I did just how much life had changed in recent days. Tony had been gone for a week, Annabelle for five days and I was home with my two sets of twins.
It was lovely to spend time with them and also a tad odd, as the only singleton left at home it gave me a little bit of insight as to how Annabelle must often feel. It seemed like everyone else came as part of a set and then there was me. Such thoughts could have made me feel lonely however I decided to view them in a more positive manner and allow myself the luxury of making my own choices and decisions. Although I knew it had the potential to make me feel quite self-indulgent I also knew I wanted to cherish it for a little while.
It was indeed a little while, within moments I heard the patter of little feet and looked up to see Josiah walking towards me with a very serious look on his face.
"Good morning, my darling", I said, "you're up very early. Are you alright?"
"I fink so." he said then shook his head.
I could hear the cogs whirring in his brain and the intense look of concentration told me this was important. Slowly and carefully he repeated himself enunciating each word clearly, "I think so."
The look of triumph on his face was so cute that I wanted to hug him but I sensed this wasn't the time, whatever was on his mind was serious business and I had to act accordingly.
"Is there something on your mind?" I said receiving a puzzled look in reply.
I tried again, "Do you have something you want to ask me or tell me?"
He looked at me uncertainly and it occurred to me that he didn't want to hurt my feelings.
"Would you like some breakfast first?" I said, "I could make you some or we could go and see what Uncle Ravensmoore is making."
"Mummy... I mean Mum, I don't want to be Jojo anymore." He said with increasing speed until the last few words jumbled into one long one.
"Then who do you want to be?" I said.
"I want to be me but big me, I'm four now you know. Jojo is a baby name."
"Well", I said as I wondered where the time had vanished to, "you're certainly not a baby any more."
He smiled obviously relieved, "So you'll call me Josiah?" he said.
"I'll do my best", I said feeling a little bit sad but realising this was important to him, "If I forget sometimes will you be patient with me and forgive me?"
"I think", he said seriously, "that's what bigger boys do and I will try hard, okay?"
"Sounds fair enough to me." I said, "Now how about breakfast?"
"I think I'll go back to bed and wait for Rory." he said, "Mummy, you do get up very early."
He didn't have time to, just as he turned to go back to bed a very sleepy Rory walked in followed by Sarah and Rebecca.
"Why are you strange people up in the middle of the night?" Rebecca said, "You know my teaspoons are going to be doing double duty now, don't you?"
I laughed, both the girls liked to think cold teaspoons pressed to their faces took the puffiness away from around their eyes, I suppose the idea did have merit, I just never saw any evidence of any imperfections to begin with.
"Believe it or not, Becca." I said, "Most people don't consider six in the morning as the middle of the night."
Sarah groaned, "I thought the only people who thought that were vampires." she said.
"And weirdwolves." Rory said with the look of pride that came from knowing such an important fact. "They like night...I think."
"Well it's not night-time and we were just about to get breakfast...well we are now at least." I said, "Anyone who cares to join us is welcome."
Both girls groaned at that and both boys giggled but all four came with me which of course made me laugh too.
Bryony was in the dining room already talking to Ravensmoore and she looked up as we walked it. Her face lit up at the sight of the girls and the boys were happy to see her there and promptly sat across the table from her.
"Good morning, Rory." she said, "Good morning, Jojo. How are you both?"
I waited to see what Josiah would say and wasn't surprised when he didn't say anything apart from, "We're okay. Do you always get up in the middle of the night?"
"You're not a vampire or a weirdwolf, are you Bryony?" Rory said making her look puzzled until he added, "I think they like the middle of the night." which made her laugh.
"No, I just like getting up early", she said, "do you know who else likes night-time?"
"Our mum?"
"No, silly...ghosts, ghosts like night-time, but I'm not one of those either."
"A fact I'm grateful for." I said.
"Aunty Ana!" Bryony said jumping up to hug me, "shall we all have breakfast together?"
"I was just about to suggest that." Ravensmoore said as he brought in a vast array of hearty breakfast fare.
Bryony took charge of seating arrangements and soon was happily seated between Rebecca and Sarah with the boys and me on the other side.
Breakfast was fun, filled with a lot of laughter, strange discussion and more laughter all washed down with delicious food and Ravenmoore's perfect tea.
For a while I was content to sit back and let their conversation and laughter swirl around me, enclosing me like a warm hug. I'd started my day happy with my own company and now here I was in the middle of a loud happy breakfast with some of the people most important to me. I found I loved both, needed both and frankly I wouldn't have it any other way.