Rock and a hard place

[auntsadie]

I've never been very good at making choices and usually avoid them by giving myself a lack of options. I usually leave my wallet at my office so that I won't be tempted to bring it home with me and spend money. Admittedly, to leave one's wallet in the first place is a choice (one can choose, I suppose, to refuse choice). At the same time,

Comments

[anonymous]

you always have a choice. even if its choosing to cement yourself in the limbo of just-in-case and the static dreams of flesh and bone and plywood reality of girlfriends and masters. break your presbyterian habit with imagination. you don't have to work hard, you just have to dream.

love and light,

outrageous joy.

anyeong

[anonymous]

Heyyyy! I feel like I'm reading a sophisticated novel. Nice work. =) I understand your feelings of frustration, but I hope you find happiness here. Come out with us more often! ;) Instead of looking at Korea as a money-making factory, maybe it would do you better to see this as a "life experience." Living in a foreign country (despite its annoyances) isn't something anyone can do. Enjoy it while you can. ^^ -kolibri

[say_it_with_pie]

You're thinking like a survivor. You're sitting there thinking, "I've survived in Korea for this long, why not just do it a little longer?"

Because you're not really enjoying Korea and money isn't more important than happiness. You're too young to be living like that, and you're only wasting time.

Get outta there, yo! You've had your Korean experience, it's time to move on if you're not really digging it anymore.

That seemed kind of harsh. Sorry, it's just my opinion!

[auntsadie]

Hi,

I don't find that at all harsh, actually. It's very truthful. I do have a tendency, inherited doubtless from people who lived in the bottoms of boats and between the chinks of cabins, to think in a worst case scenario, "survival[ist]" fashion. Sometimes this can create more problems than it attempts to resolve. In fact, it often posits a problem when there might not be one at all.
How strange we are in our addiction to what we fear might be.

[auntsadie]

P.S. I won't be making any firm decisions until June or July . . . Keep up your interesting posts.

[tamsavvy]

I agree. come home. it's one thing to be a warrior, but it takes so much strength to realize how good it feels to be amongst friends, family, and home.

the money will make itself. don't sacrifice for it "just in case." there are MANY "just in case" moneymaking options on this side of the world, they just don't sound as good. but you'll be back with your happiness.

[auntsadie]

I've been speaking with Mother a lot about this lately and she said something very lucid, "Until you're back in grad school doing full-time thinking and reading, you'll be miserable. You might as well be miserable making money."
There is the added problem that, since my father died, I don't really have a home anymore (Mother and I have, at best, a strained relationship). I have many friends in Toronto, thankfully, to come back to. But hasn't Toronto changed?
I'm interested though, in your suggestion of other money-making possibilities. If you have the time to elaborate, please do.
On another note, I've been meaning to message you to ask if you're alright. Your last post seemed rather uneasy. Are you alright?

[tamsavvy]

Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It's just been one thing after another. But spring is coming. I have faith

[ninja_heel_work]

I think Karen's advice is on the money, Gary. Be happy! Financial prosperity is for chumps.