You have three voice messages on 20 February 2011. The first message was recorded at 08:23. The standardised voice announced perfectly.
“Hae-ah, did you sleep well last night? Don’t overwork.”
The second message was recorded at 14:43.
“Hae, remember to eat regularly. Don’t skip meals when you’re busy, put your work aside when you’re hungry.”
The last message was recorded at 23:30.
“Hae, are you still awake?”
You have one voice message on 21 February 2011. The message was recorded at 03:20.
“Donghae, I love you.”
I love you.
On the 12th of November, you left me by leaving your favourite voice messages to me, which reminded me that we hadn’t seen each other for almost a year. In other words, you’d been sending voice messages to my receiver for almost a year.
I wondered if summer was too hot, when winter came, I became really vulnerable to the cold. Hey Hyukkie, I did tell you I was sensitive to cold, right? Leaving behind these self-knitted mufflers wouldn’t help. All these were not of comparison to the one you gave me during Christmas three years back, it was the first one you knitted, and the first time we went out. That crude, short muffler still gave off that amateur-made feels. Although it wasn’t flawless, it was perfect. We were perfect.
Two years back you bought a telephone with a receiver for me during Christmas. I recalled you were thrilled while fixing the phone in my house. It felt absurd - why did you even get thrilled in fixing a new telephone in my home. After you were done, you sternly warned me not to answer this upcoming call that you’d make and hurriedly, clumsily rushed into the bathroom. I waited for the ringing to end, and you left your first voice message.
“Donghae-ah, Merry Christmas! So you think this telephone is my present for you? Tsk tsk tsk, too naïve! Take a look what’s under the cushion of the sofa you’re sitting right now.” You giggled. “I love you!” And you ended off with a kiss.
That was the second muffler you gave me.
On the night of today, the snow was falling endlessly, mercilessly, and almost, or rather, totally had forgotten my existence. Did it do it on purpose? Because it knew me too well. Did you do it on purpose? Leaving me when winter charged into my entirely drab and cold world.
You have one voice message on the 12 November 2011. The message was recorded at 00:15.
“Donghae-ah…” A brief pause was made. “Do you still remember the first voice message I made? I love you. Bye bye.” The choppy sentences didn’t make any particular sense to me.
The first voice message you made - Take a look what’s under the cushion of the sofa you’re sitting right now.
I took a few steps closer to the sofa, lifted up the cushion and instead of investing much attention to the muffler, the note beside it looked more outstanding.
You were so busy that you don’t even visit your own home as much.
When you were not around, I cleaned and tidied your house - although there was nothing much to tidy - my heart just couldn’t be rest-assured if I don’t come.
So you think I came to your house just to clean and tidy? Too naïve!
In fact, I was here in search for your warmth, your scent and your presence - even if it’s just a little.
But it’s okay! From now onwards I will learn how to be independent.
Thank you for everything.
I was happy, were you?
It was still snowing. This cold and soulless night engraved the most excruciating memory in my heart. Although you might not be aware of, I’d loved you… for the whole time. I was happy and I’m sorry.
A/n: Reference -
Here. I wonder if my readers ever listen to songs I referred for my fics. Haha, but if you really like my fics, I strongly encourage you to listen to them. Bc they are really nice and reasons why I write more song fics than idea fics. :D Comments are highly appreciated n_n