[Fanfic] Cold hands
Title: Cold hands
Pairing: Haehyuk
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Angst
Length: One-shot, 1,396 words
Summary: I exhaled a laugh, and my tears… were its partner.
Note: Itallics are lyrics and after every itallics are fragments of different scenes.
“We will try going out with each other.”
Hands froze with the bow playing a vague ‘screech’ sound out of the cello. I looked up; silence asked for a pardon on my behalf.
He repeated the exact sentence, with an exact tone, and an exact countenance.
“But you rejected me.” I rested the bow on my lap.
“We should try it out. It’s my first time… going out with a male.” He continued four seconds after I allowed silence in again. “You don’t want to?”
“No.”
The familiar hand that I’ve been holding; the warmth that carries an expiry date.
“Here,” You swept my hands before putting on your gloves on me. “Hands are cellists’ important partner.”
“Is that so?”
“Are you saying that you’re using your feet to play the cello?”
“Pfft.” I looked down. “You’re funny.”
“Let’s go, we are late.” He held my hand abruptly with a blunt vitality. It was snowing, but his hand was warm.
It is like a trap of lies lying within; promises with no proof.
“Why’d you accept me?”
“It’s not the point of accepting or not.”
“Weren’t you straight?”
“Yes.”
“Are you serious in taking up this relationship?”
Anticipation scattered upon that deliberate-silence. What was I expecting exactly?
Although you’re here physically, I can’t sense the presence of your heart.
“A senior of mine said that there will be an orchestra performance on the fourth of April.”
“Hmm…”
“It’s cello-focused.”
The second ‘hmm’ was getting shorter.
“And coincidentally we do not have lessons on that day.”
He didn't even utter a thing now.
“So…”
“Hyukkie,” He turned and looked at me. “Let’s find a place and rest. I’m tired.” I was obviously showing some expectation, and he was totally oblivious about it.
“Okay.” I smiled and pretended those lines didn’t even exist. I didn't even need to pretend, the situation just changed naturally.
The nameless times that we had together just keep accumulating; although I felt happiness, but my chest (heart) hurts.
“Hey, don’t fall asleep!” I threw a slipper in his face and uncontrollably let out a small ‘pfft’. “It’s rude.”
“It’s a compliment.” He smiled while scratching his cheeks. “The piece was so sensationally played that it brought me a nice dream.”
“What did you dream of then?” I poked the bow in his chest.
“You.” He grabbed the bow and pulled me closer. “Sorry.” We shared a hug and I was sure that both of the hug and sorry weren’t for his inattentiveness. Although it was summer, his hands were cold.
Just once, for once, please come close to me; I will hold your cold hand.
“Lesson finished?” He popped his head inside the room. “Hyukkie?”
“Ah, Donghae sunbae!”
“Yoojin?” He stepped in slowly. “Why are you here?”
“Hyukjae-sunbae said he will watch me practicing. I’m being selected to go for this coming concours.”
He said nothing but nodded his head.
“Yoojin-ah, your endpin is loo- Donghae?”
“Ah! Donghae sunbae, you watch me too, and try to give some constructive comments.”
“Nah, I’ll fall asleep when I listen to something so deep.” He flashed a weak smile. “I’ll go off first.”
“Donghae-ah!” The door shut itself a second after I voiced out his name. I saw his leaving figure through the glass panel. Just who designed this door; it made the scenery outside seemed obscure. I couldn’t breathe.
The café that we go to when it’s raining; it’s just an excuse, to be selfish.
“Ah, let’s have some coffee here.”
“Let’s go home already.” He grabbed my hand and tamed my alacrity.
I pouted.
“Let’s go.”
“It’s drizzling.”
“We will reach home before it gets heavi -”
“Ah…” The both of us faced the drab sky. “It’s heaven’s will, heaven’s will!” I spread my lips wide and pulled him into the shop. Even the heaven, is crying… for me.
Even how familiar this face is, it will never face me.
“Yoojin got into the finals for the concours.”
“Hmm…” He lifted the mug of coffee and pressed it against his lower lip. The lenses of his spectacles were covered with the steam from the drink, and he looked more expressionlessly moody.
“Something happened?” I tried to relax my nerves by cupping my chin with my hand, elbow on the armrest.
He stared at the coffee; nothing’s out.
“Donghae?”
Once.
“Donghae?”
Twice.
“Dongh-”
Third try failed. Tears fell thoughtlessly. But no worries, he won’t notice. He won’t.
The nameless times that we had together are turning colourless rapidly; although I felt happiness, but we can’t share it together.
“Hae-ah! Hurry, hurry!”
“You like this kind of place?”
“Why, water sports are good.” I flashed a smile with my gums showing. It has been a long time that I’ve smiled like this. This was the first date that he asked for, I was glad.
“Donghae, hurry!” I stopped paddling and waited for him.
“Okay.” He replied before waving at me with a smile.
I rested my chin on my knees and stared at his figure amplifying slowly. I was staring at him, but I blinked, and a tear dropped.
Just once, for once, please come close to me; I will hold your cold hand, tightly.
“Dong~hae!” I hopped inside his practicing room.
“Hyuk-ah.” He faced up while keeping his violin.
“Eh, keeping already?!” I pouted while pointing at his violin.
“Wanna listen?” He placed one of his hands on his waist.
I nodded with a smile.
Donghae illustrated one of the caprices of Niccolò Paganini’s. The piece was well-fed by his rich emotion. His passion was visible to the audience and every single action of his brought nothing less, or extra. I had passion in both cello and Donghae, but Donghae could only have passion in violin - I thought.
That day, it seemed like he’s drifted another level away from me. I was afraid that one day, he’ll leave.
"See you again," we say, under separate umbrellas as we wave goodbye; it’s okay for you to be mercurial, as long as we’re going to meet again.
“Hyukkie, what are you planning to do after graduation?”
“Continue studying music, why?”
“What about your financial needs?”
“I’ll work it out with part-time jobs.”
“Part-time jobs…” He echoed the last couple of words, expressionlessly. “Do you like children?”
“I don’t hate them. You?”
“Yeah, I like children.” He could’ve leave out the last three words. It was as if that he’s deliberately repeating that.
“Sorry.” I stopped walking and looked down.
“It’s fine.” He turned around and moved a step closer. Brushing my hair with his fingers, he forced a warm smile. Our distance was as close as our umbrellas contacting each other, but for some reason I felt empty.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed my wrist and tried to lead the way. I remained stationary and he looked back again.
“…at me.”
“Hyukkie?”
“Look at me!” I revealed myself by dropping the umbrella on the ground.
Just look here.
“Donghae, you’re weird. From the day I started confessing to you, from the day you rejected me right into my face, from the day you charged into my practicing room abruptly, from the day you said we should try going out, and from the day… you gave me false possibilities in every aspects of our relationship. No, sorry. I’ve forgotten you did not promise anything.”
“Hyukkie?”
“Donghae?”
“Hmm?”
“Donghae?”
“I’m here.” He moved closer to me. I stepped backward.
“Donghae,” I uttered. “Come close to me, Donghae.” I continued moving backward.
“Yeah, I am.” He stretched his hand to me. “Stop moving backward.”
“Donghae,”
“I’m here, Hyukkie.”
“Donghae, why did you accept me?”
“Hyukkie, it’s dangerous. Stop moving backward. You’re getting close to the road.”
“Why didn’t you get a girl?”
“Hyukkie…”
“She can bear a child for you.”
“Stop moving!”
“Look at me, Donghae! Hurry come to me, catch me, I’m falling…” I lifted up my hands. “You’re… reluctant, huh?”I smiled before closing my eyes and made the last step. Cars’ honking pierced through my ears, Donghae’s yell sounded vague, or should I say I consciously refused to hear his voice. In the end, he still did not allow me to hold his cold hands.
I was lying on the ground, said. I could feel liquid oozing out from the back of my head, I was gradually feeling dizzy. I exhaled a laugh, and my tears… were its partner.
♥ Oic, lj became bitchy when I was away - had a great time spacing after every lines. Okay, as usual, a song-inspired fic. Tsumetai te by Ayabie.
Pairing: Haehyuk
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Angst
Length: One-shot, 1,396 words
Summary: I exhaled a laugh, and my tears… were its partner.
Note: Itallics are lyrics and after every itallics are fragments of different scenes.
“We will try going out with each other.”
Hands froze with the bow playing a vague ‘screech’ sound out of the cello. I looked up; silence asked for a pardon on my behalf.
He repeated the exact sentence, with an exact tone, and an exact countenance.
“But you rejected me.” I rested the bow on my lap.
“We should try it out. It’s my first time… going out with a male.” He continued four seconds after I allowed silence in again. “You don’t want to?”
“No.”
The familiar hand that I’ve been holding; the warmth that carries an expiry date.
“Here,” You swept my hands before putting on your gloves on me. “Hands are cellists’ important partner.”
“Is that so?”
“Are you saying that you’re using your feet to play the cello?”
“Pfft.” I looked down. “You’re funny.”
“Let’s go, we are late.” He held my hand abruptly with a blunt vitality. It was snowing, but his hand was warm.
It is like a trap of lies lying within; promises with no proof.
“Why’d you accept me?”
“It’s not the point of accepting or not.”
“Weren’t you straight?”
“Yes.”
“Are you serious in taking up this relationship?”
Anticipation scattered upon that deliberate-silence. What was I expecting exactly?
Although you’re here physically, I can’t sense the presence of your heart.
“A senior of mine said that there will be an orchestra performance on the fourth of April.”
“Hmm…”
“It’s cello-focused.”
The second ‘hmm’ was getting shorter.
“And coincidentally we do not have lessons on that day.”
He didn't even utter a thing now.
“So…”
“Hyukkie,” He turned and looked at me. “Let’s find a place and rest. I’m tired.” I was obviously showing some expectation, and he was totally oblivious about it.
“Okay.” I smiled and pretended those lines didn’t even exist. I didn't even need to pretend, the situation just changed naturally.
The nameless times that we had together just keep accumulating; although I felt happiness, but my chest (heart) hurts.
“Hey, don’t fall asleep!” I threw a slipper in his face and uncontrollably let out a small ‘pfft’. “It’s rude.”
“It’s a compliment.” He smiled while scratching his cheeks. “The piece was so sensationally played that it brought me a nice dream.”
“What did you dream of then?” I poked the bow in his chest.
“You.” He grabbed the bow and pulled me closer. “Sorry.” We shared a hug and I was sure that both of the hug and sorry weren’t for his inattentiveness. Although it was summer, his hands were cold.
Just once, for once, please come close to me; I will hold your cold hand.
“Lesson finished?” He popped his head inside the room. “Hyukkie?”
“Ah, Donghae sunbae!”
“Yoojin?” He stepped in slowly. “Why are you here?”
“Hyukjae-sunbae said he will watch me practicing. I’m being selected to go for this coming concours.”
He said nothing but nodded his head.
“Yoojin-ah, your endpin is loo- Donghae?”
“Ah! Donghae sunbae, you watch me too, and try to give some constructive comments.”
“Nah, I’ll fall asleep when I listen to something so deep.” He flashed a weak smile. “I’ll go off first.”
“Donghae-ah!” The door shut itself a second after I voiced out his name. I saw his leaving figure through the glass panel. Just who designed this door; it made the scenery outside seemed obscure. I couldn’t breathe.
The café that we go to when it’s raining; it’s just an excuse, to be selfish.
“Ah, let’s have some coffee here.”
“Let’s go home already.” He grabbed my hand and tamed my alacrity.
I pouted.
“Let’s go.”
“It’s drizzling.”
“We will reach home before it gets heavi -”
“Ah…” The both of us faced the drab sky. “It’s heaven’s will, heaven’s will!” I spread my lips wide and pulled him into the shop. Even the heaven, is crying… for me.
Even how familiar this face is, it will never face me.
“Yoojin got into the finals for the concours.”
“Hmm…” He lifted the mug of coffee and pressed it against his lower lip. The lenses of his spectacles were covered with the steam from the drink, and he looked more expressionlessly moody.
“Something happened?” I tried to relax my nerves by cupping my chin with my hand, elbow on the armrest.
He stared at the coffee; nothing’s out.
“Donghae?”
Once.
“Donghae?”
Twice.
“Dongh-”
Third try failed. Tears fell thoughtlessly. But no worries, he won’t notice. He won’t.
The nameless times that we had together are turning colourless rapidly; although I felt happiness, but we can’t share it together.
“Hae-ah! Hurry, hurry!”
“You like this kind of place?”
“Why, water sports are good.” I flashed a smile with my gums showing. It has been a long time that I’ve smiled like this. This was the first date that he asked for, I was glad.
“Donghae, hurry!” I stopped paddling and waited for him.
“Okay.” He replied before waving at me with a smile.
I rested my chin on my knees and stared at his figure amplifying slowly. I was staring at him, but I blinked, and a tear dropped.
Just once, for once, please come close to me; I will hold your cold hand, tightly.
“Dong~hae!” I hopped inside his practicing room.
“Hyuk-ah.” He faced up while keeping his violin.
“Eh, keeping already?!” I pouted while pointing at his violin.
“Wanna listen?” He placed one of his hands on his waist.
I nodded with a smile.
Donghae illustrated one of the caprices of Niccolò Paganini’s. The piece was well-fed by his rich emotion. His passion was visible to the audience and every single action of his brought nothing less, or extra. I had passion in both cello and Donghae, but Donghae could only have passion in violin - I thought.
That day, it seemed like he’s drifted another level away from me. I was afraid that one day, he’ll leave.
"See you again," we say, under separate umbrellas as we wave goodbye; it’s okay for you to be mercurial, as long as we’re going to meet again.
“Hyukkie, what are you planning to do after graduation?”
“Continue studying music, why?”
“What about your financial needs?”
“I’ll work it out with part-time jobs.”
“Part-time jobs…” He echoed the last couple of words, expressionlessly. “Do you like children?”
“I don’t hate them. You?”
“Yeah, I like children.” He could’ve leave out the last three words. It was as if that he’s deliberately repeating that.
“Sorry.” I stopped walking and looked down.
“It’s fine.” He turned around and moved a step closer. Brushing my hair with his fingers, he forced a warm smile. Our distance was as close as our umbrellas contacting each other, but for some reason I felt empty.
“Let’s go.” He grabbed my wrist and tried to lead the way. I remained stationary and he looked back again.
“…at me.”
“Hyukkie?”
“Look at me!” I revealed myself by dropping the umbrella on the ground.
Just look here.
“Donghae, you’re weird. From the day I started confessing to you, from the day you rejected me right into my face, from the day you charged into my practicing room abruptly, from the day you said we should try going out, and from the day… you gave me false possibilities in every aspects of our relationship. No, sorry. I’ve forgotten you did not promise anything.”
“Hyukkie?”
“Donghae?”
“Hmm?”
“Donghae?”
“I’m here.” He moved closer to me. I stepped backward.
“Donghae,” I uttered. “Come close to me, Donghae.” I continued moving backward.
“Yeah, I am.” He stretched his hand to me. “Stop moving backward.”
“Donghae,”
“I’m here, Hyukkie.”
“Donghae, why did you accept me?”
“Hyukkie, it’s dangerous. Stop moving backward. You’re getting close to the road.”
“Why didn’t you get a girl?”
“Hyukkie…”
“She can bear a child for you.”
“Stop moving!”
“Look at me, Donghae! Hurry come to me, catch me, I’m falling…” I lifted up my hands. “You’re… reluctant, huh?”I smiled before closing my eyes and made the last step. Cars’ honking pierced through my ears, Donghae’s yell sounded vague, or should I say I consciously refused to hear his voice. In the end, he still did not allow me to hold his cold hands.
I was lying on the ground, said. I could feel liquid oozing out from the back of my head, I was gradually feeling dizzy. I exhaled a laugh, and my tears… were its partner.
♥ Oic, lj became bitchy when I was away - had a great time spacing after every lines. Okay, as usual, a song-inspired fic. Tsumetai te by Ayabie.
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