More carpool drama...
Wednesday
DG: 7:30-4:30 carpooling, anybody interested?
CK: I would probably be down, but there would need to be rules.
AE: Really funny.
Me: CK, if we were to reinvent our carpool, you have to sign a contract, specifying the conditions of defection: permanent relocation outside of our jurisdiction, debilitating illness, dismemberment (multiple limbs), and death.
CK: Add mental illness and we’re good.
Me: Nope. That’s what happened last time. You musta lost your mind!
CK: That’s what happens when you wake up that early.
Me: I agree, but will 7:30 be any easier than 8:00? How’s 8:00 working out?
Me: Newton’s 4th Law: DG is always up to something.
DG: I don’t like what you are implying, take it back. I’m just trying to save you and AE from jail time for harming JG.
Me: Fiona’s on vacation. Su actually smiled at him yesterday. Worried about AE though…that fuse is getting shorter and shorter…
AE to DG: You may be too late. We still have the ride home this afternoon.
DG: I’ll control the topic of conversation on the way home today.
Me: Will that be any safer?
AE to DG: Get out to my car first and get in the front!
Me: You’d better do what she says.
DG: AE can’t boss me; I’ll take her down. She’s weak.
Me: Don’t act like I didn’t warn you when she takes the car off a bridge and jumps out just in time…I’ve thought of it once or twice.
DG: Yes, I know how to poke and prod without irritating (pertaining to arguments).
Me: News to me.
CK to DG: You can tackle religion and healthcare on the way home.
Me: Recipe for an explosion.
DG: Excuse me for a second, I had subway and I need a mint.
Me: Aw, hell. It’s on now.
AE to DG: You’ve been given fair warning via Su.
Me: With all this teasing about switching carpools and such, you shouldn’t toy with my emotions. Talk to me when you’re serious! Su out. Duces!
DG: There’s no teasing. DG is all about action.
Thursday
Me: You say that, but this is all talk until we are actually meeting at 7:30. Checkmate.
DG: When do you want to start? I snatch up AE this morning. *Check*
Me: Does AE confirm? Checkmate.
DG: You can’t get checkmate if the match is ongoing lady. Yes, AE does confirm. *check*
Me: Don’t speak for AE! You can checkmate with subsequent moves if you are cornering the opponent’s King, depending upon the piece you’re moving. I’m playing the Queen today and you’re King is cornered with every move, though you have a couple pieces guarding from afar…a stalemate if you must…geez, I’m rusty, but I remember that much.
DG: Quite an imagination. I know the rules. By no means have you cracked my defense enough to corner THE KING. I’m still on the offensive. Quit your kamikaze chess playing before you lose what little defense you have left.
AE: I have yet to confirm. Decisions, decisions.
Me: When Anna concurs, I am on board.
AE: Why must this depend on me?
ME: Doesn’t. Just easier to pass the buck.
DG: “If that car leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.”
Me: Nice twist of a Casablanca phrase. I think all AE needs is another ride with the PETA protesters and she’ll be on board.
CK: I’m confused. I’m a checkers guy.
DG: Checkers = chess
Me: April fools!
CK: Not cool.
Me: Usually isn’t.
Friday
Me: It’s official. AE agrees to 7:30-4:30, and I’m on board. We could start next week, but need to give AE time to let her boss know beforehand. Since it’s the four of us, I guess we’ll be back to driving once for three weeks and twice for one week. CK better be committed to us this time! This is like a bad breakup.
CK: What??? I was joking about the whole thing.
Me: Not funny. April 1 was yesterday. On Wednesday, I said, “With all this teasing about switching carpools and such, you shouldn’t toy with my emotions. Talk to me when you’re serious!” AE and I both thought y’all were serious. Now imma have to kick you and DG in the throat.
DG: Okay, catch me up. Why am I getting kicked in the throat? Why am I being grouped with CK as if we plotted this? CK was serious before, something or someone might have changed his mind. If you kick me in my throat, I’m gonna have to take you over my knee.
Me: You brought it up. If you knew CK was still being puppeteered, you shouldn’t have tried to convince us to participate in your little scheme. AE could use this change and took you seriously. I had told my husband and was about to tell my boss. Fiona’s back and high on hormones. Just try me. AE wanted me to let CK know that she’s gonna kick his *@#. Should be easy to catch since he’s already being held by the huevos [implying that the current succubus he’s carpooling with has a hold on him; she convinced him to quit us in the first place].
DG: CK approached me on more than 3 occasions asking about starting a 7:30 carpool. Not me approaching him. To me, that indicates someone serious about something. I have nothing to gain by tricking you guys into buying into something I didn’t think was going to happen.
Me: Noted. **retrieves bullet from the messenger’s skull.
DG: Cool. I take the blame. I get blamed for #@! I didn’t do all the time.
Me: You’re male…should be used to it.
CK: Liar! It was DG’s idea.
Me: Pot calling the kettle black. You also emailed your intention to me on Wednesday and I have it on good authority that you have voiced the same to others before. Utterly unreliable, CK. Nothing’s ever your idea. Very disappointing.
CK: It’s Good Friday. Be good.
Me: OMG, I know you didn’t just say that to me. This is all your fault anyway. I’m unable to invest anymore time to this futile conversation. You will have to answer to Anna yourself.
CK: How about 8 - 5?
Me: KMA. All your bargaining chips are off the table. You have no leverage. Just stop while you’re ahead. Su out.
CK: 7-4?
DG: All jokes aside, if we gonna do this; we need to set it in stone NOW so accommodations (boss notification, adjusting alarm clocks, etc) can be made. What say you?
Me: I say contact AE.
DG: No, I want everyone’s independent decision. Yea or a Nay. If everybody hasn’t made their vote by 4pm, I will assume that this is not going to happen and I’ll make all efforts to meet this moron-lead carpool on Monday. 7:30 - 4:30 (meet at designated carpool site at 6:35 or 6:40 or something like that)
DG - Yea
AE -
Su -
CK -
Me: Voiced my opinion at 12:27 PM today. AE is not at work today. Contact her.
DG: Your 12:27 opinion is as follows and is not an independent (sounds depended on AE decision) “Yea” or “Nay”.
AE agrees to 7:30-4:30, and I’m on board. We could start next week, but need to give AE time to let her boss know beforehand. Since it’s the four of us, I guess we’ll be back to driving once for three weeks and twice for one week.
Me: “…I’m on board”, is an independent “Yea”, DG. The subsequent sentences further expressed my attempt to offer a suggestion to orchestrating the impending change. Keep pushing me and see what happens.
DG: Lady, I’m not afraid of you. Don’t you know that? Your “I’m on board” seemed to be dependent on “AE agrees…” which explains why it was apart of the sentence. Because if that sentence read “AE disagrees...” I think it would have led to a “I’m not on board” in how the sentence is dependent on previous thought. I want INDEPENDENT.
Where and when do we meet? 6:40 on Monday?
Me: There you go extrapolating again. Your mistake. Noted. Had the statement read, “AE disagrees…,” one may not assume that “I’m not on board” would follow. Life is not programming or statistics. One cannot rely upon if/then or empty set/null set hypotheses to determine another’s reactions. I’m a woman, not a computer…and hormonal at that. You have independent, now back off!
DG: God, I like you. So witty!
Me: …and out pours your feminine side. **wins the staring contest**
Me: With traffic the way it’s been, anytime closer to 6:30 may be better. You know how we start drifting later and later. It’s best just to rip the band-aid off. So Monday. At the church still? I’m not keeping tally this go round. After God’s-gift-to-all-mankind took over the calendar, I have lost the taste for it.
DG: 7:30-4:30 carpooling, anybody interested?
CK: I would probably be down, but there would need to be rules.
AE: Really funny.
Me: CK, if we were to reinvent our carpool, you have to sign a contract, specifying the conditions of defection: permanent relocation outside of our jurisdiction, debilitating illness, dismemberment (multiple limbs), and death.
CK: Add mental illness and we’re good.
Me: Nope. That’s what happened last time. You musta lost your mind!
CK: That’s what happens when you wake up that early.
Me: I agree, but will 7:30 be any easier than 8:00? How’s 8:00 working out?
Me: Newton’s 4th Law: DG is always up to something.
DG: I don’t like what you are implying, take it back. I’m just trying to save you and AE from jail time for harming JG.
Me: Fiona’s on vacation. Su actually smiled at him yesterday. Worried about AE though…that fuse is getting shorter and shorter…
AE to DG: You may be too late. We still have the ride home this afternoon.
DG: I’ll control the topic of conversation on the way home today.
Me: Will that be any safer?
AE to DG: Get out to my car first and get in the front!
Me: You’d better do what she says.
DG: AE can’t boss me; I’ll take her down. She’s weak.
Me: Don’t act like I didn’t warn you when she takes the car off a bridge and jumps out just in time…I’ve thought of it once or twice.
DG: Yes, I know how to poke and prod without irritating (pertaining to arguments).
Me: News to me.
CK to DG: You can tackle religion and healthcare on the way home.
Me: Recipe for an explosion.
DG: Excuse me for a second, I had subway and I need a mint.
Me: Aw, hell. It’s on now.
AE to DG: You’ve been given fair warning via Su.
Me: With all this teasing about switching carpools and such, you shouldn’t toy with my emotions. Talk to me when you’re serious! Su out. Duces!
DG: There’s no teasing. DG is all about action.
Thursday
Me: You say that, but this is all talk until we are actually meeting at 7:30. Checkmate.
DG: When do you want to start? I snatch up AE this morning. *Check*
Me: Does AE confirm? Checkmate.
DG: You can’t get checkmate if the match is ongoing lady. Yes, AE does confirm. *check*
Me: Don’t speak for AE! You can checkmate with subsequent moves if you are cornering the opponent’s King, depending upon the piece you’re moving. I’m playing the Queen today and you’re King is cornered with every move, though you have a couple pieces guarding from afar…a stalemate if you must…geez, I’m rusty, but I remember that much.
DG: Quite an imagination. I know the rules. By no means have you cracked my defense enough to corner THE KING. I’m still on the offensive. Quit your kamikaze chess playing before you lose what little defense you have left.
AE: I have yet to confirm. Decisions, decisions.
Me: When Anna concurs, I am on board.
AE: Why must this depend on me?
ME: Doesn’t. Just easier to pass the buck.
DG: “If that car leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.”
Me: Nice twist of a Casablanca phrase. I think all AE needs is another ride with the PETA protesters and she’ll be on board.
CK: I’m confused. I’m a checkers guy.
DG: Checkers = chess
Me: April fools!
CK: Not cool.
Me: Usually isn’t.
Friday
Me: It’s official. AE agrees to 7:30-4:30, and I’m on board. We could start next week, but need to give AE time to let her boss know beforehand. Since it’s the four of us, I guess we’ll be back to driving once for three weeks and twice for one week. CK better be committed to us this time! This is like a bad breakup.
CK: What??? I was joking about the whole thing.
Me: Not funny. April 1 was yesterday. On Wednesday, I said, “With all this teasing about switching carpools and such, you shouldn’t toy with my emotions. Talk to me when you’re serious!” AE and I both thought y’all were serious. Now imma have to kick you and DG in the throat.
DG: Okay, catch me up. Why am I getting kicked in the throat? Why am I being grouped with CK as if we plotted this? CK was serious before, something or someone might have changed his mind. If you kick me in my throat, I’m gonna have to take you over my knee.
Me: You brought it up. If you knew CK was still being puppeteered, you shouldn’t have tried to convince us to participate in your little scheme. AE could use this change and took you seriously. I had told my husband and was about to tell my boss. Fiona’s back and high on hormones. Just try me. AE wanted me to let CK know that she’s gonna kick his *@#. Should be easy to catch since he’s already being held by the huevos [implying that the current succubus he’s carpooling with has a hold on him; she convinced him to quit us in the first place].
DG: CK approached me on more than 3 occasions asking about starting a 7:30 carpool. Not me approaching him. To me, that indicates someone serious about something. I have nothing to gain by tricking you guys into buying into something I didn’t think was going to happen.
Me: Noted. **retrieves bullet from the messenger’s skull.
DG: Cool. I take the blame. I get blamed for #@! I didn’t do all the time.
Me: You’re male…should be used to it.
CK: Liar! It was DG’s idea.
Me: Pot calling the kettle black. You also emailed your intention to me on Wednesday and I have it on good authority that you have voiced the same to others before. Utterly unreliable, CK. Nothing’s ever your idea. Very disappointing.
CK: It’s Good Friday. Be good.
Me: OMG, I know you didn’t just say that to me. This is all your fault anyway. I’m unable to invest anymore time to this futile conversation. You will have to answer to Anna yourself.
CK: How about 8 - 5?
Me: KMA. All your bargaining chips are off the table. You have no leverage. Just stop while you’re ahead. Su out.
CK: 7-4?
DG: All jokes aside, if we gonna do this; we need to set it in stone NOW so accommodations (boss notification, adjusting alarm clocks, etc) can be made. What say you?
Me: I say contact AE.
DG: No, I want everyone’s independent decision. Yea or a Nay. If everybody hasn’t made their vote by 4pm, I will assume that this is not going to happen and I’ll make all efforts to meet this moron-lead carpool on Monday. 7:30 - 4:30 (meet at designated carpool site at 6:35 or 6:40 or something like that)
DG - Yea
AE -
Su -
CK -
Me: Voiced my opinion at 12:27 PM today. AE is not at work today. Contact her.
DG: Your 12:27 opinion is as follows and is not an independent (sounds depended on AE decision) “Yea” or “Nay”.
AE agrees to 7:30-4:30, and I’m on board. We could start next week, but need to give AE time to let her boss know beforehand. Since it’s the four of us, I guess we’ll be back to driving once for three weeks and twice for one week.
Me: “…I’m on board”, is an independent “Yea”, DG. The subsequent sentences further expressed my attempt to offer a suggestion to orchestrating the impending change. Keep pushing me and see what happens.
DG: Lady, I’m not afraid of you. Don’t you know that? Your “I’m on board” seemed to be dependent on “AE agrees…” which explains why it was apart of the sentence. Because if that sentence read “AE disagrees...” I think it would have led to a “I’m not on board” in how the sentence is dependent on previous thought. I want INDEPENDENT.
Where and when do we meet? 6:40 on Monday?
Me: There you go extrapolating again. Your mistake. Noted. Had the statement read, “AE disagrees…,” one may not assume that “I’m not on board” would follow. Life is not programming or statistics. One cannot rely upon if/then or empty set/null set hypotheses to determine another’s reactions. I’m a woman, not a computer…and hormonal at that. You have independent, now back off!
DG: God, I like you. So witty!
Me: …and out pours your feminine side. **wins the staring contest**
Me: With traffic the way it’s been, anytime closer to 6:30 may be better. You know how we start drifting later and later. It’s best just to rip the band-aid off. So Monday. At the church still? I’m not keeping tally this go round. After God’s-gift-to-all-mankind took over the calendar, I have lost the taste for it.