Seeing red

[auburnium]

Everyone on this planet knows that the phrase "we need to talk" signals something BAD.  Imagine having that phrase thrown at you in writing with the knowledge that you won't see the person for a few days.  It SUCKS.  Imagine waking up and finding out that the reason behind the evil phrase is that you're basically being told to get the hell out of where you're living ASAP.  The end.  Not cool.  Not cool at all.  I then sent a text message responding to the note, which involved promising to possibly move back in with my parents (not a good idea, let me tell you) and then received a message several hours later saying "sorry if you're hurt or pissed, but remember, I was writing that before 6am."  I didn't respond because I knew if I did, it wouldn't be pretty, and I would regret it later.  I calmed down away from my current sleeping place, and then returned to shower and get ready for work to find a note on the board (again) that starts with "please don't hate me."  Are you TRYING to keep me pissed off?  If you are, it's working BEAUTIFULLY.  If I could have, I would have packed up all of my things and moved the rest of the way out TODAY, but that wasn't possible.  If I thought I was anxious to finish moving before, that was nothing.  There is a fire under my ass now.  I don't want to stay where I'm not wanted, living with someone who is SUPPOSED to be one of my best friends, but yet doesn't seem to give a damn about me.  I bend over backwards for her and don't get ANYTHING in return.  A person can only take so much.  It took every fiber of my being to not write a novel back to her on the board when I erased her plea for absolution and wrote a reminder about the AKF donation tomorrow.  I haven't been writing in here a lot lately, but I need an outlet and this is safer and less passive-aggressive than using Facebook.  (I seriously contemplated several times today changing my status to say "Anne is seeing red.")

Here's hoping that a hot shower and getting the fuck out of this apartment will help my mood.