i am the conformist. i am the pleaser. i am what you make me.
its funny how different people turn out to be.
you think you know someone and BAM, they
arent who they say they are. i feel kinda betrayed.
i feel like im no longer liked for who i truly am.
one person once asked me if i stood out in this
big world i lived, i said no. i am a conformer.
i am a pleaser. why cant i just be who I want to be.
im so tired of being told who i should be and what i should
do. i want to be amanda again, which includes being mandie
again. i miss being spontaneous. i miss being bubbly.
im a zombie to my parents. they are living through me.
i just want to live my own life. i want to go out and be a teenager.
i am sheltered. i am over looked. i am conformed by others.
i used to be so free. i used to be me. i want to be that crazy little
girl, that loud and happy person again. i want my friendships back.
i want to sing again, i want to love band again. i want to be able to feel like
i can be nice without sarcasm, because i feel like people wont listen. i want
to be the leader i once was. i miss skipping down the halls and making funny
faces at people. i miss beng miss enthusiasm. i miss my metal. i miss dancing
like an idiot at football games. i want to be the girl you once saw. the real me.
the bubbly, sometimes annoying girl who loves life. the crazy earings. i miss
hainging out on driveways and eating chicken and cupcakes. and dancing to the
naked baby song. :] i love techno. i love rap. i love metal. hahaha. wow.
so amanda is finding herself.
yep shes finding her heart song.
i love life. i love the bumps in life.
((DANCING TO THE NAKED BABY SONG))
MUCH LOVE :)
amanda.mandie akana.