weird dreams
well, only one weird dream, caused by snuggling with mel after we woke up at 8.
it's kinda patchy, but the basic info is:
i was in china. or somewhere that wasn't home, but most of my friends from china (rene, inga, sarah, cigdem, abi) were there. also, a bunch of my friends from ny and oberlin had flown in, which i know because they didn't know their way around most things.
i was doing a play, and everyone was going to my performances on different nights and telling me how to make it better for the next nite. all my america friends were living with my china friends.
the last night of my dream, i was really tired in the afternoon, and decided to take a nap. my alarm didn't go off, or the clocks all stopped working, or something. anyway, i woke up late for the show. i couldn't find my props (a potato i peel and stab and cut with a little knife), or my clothes (i was supposed to be sexually ambiguous-y, so a big t-shirt, a sweatshirt, a baseball cap, and a sports bra t keep my boobs down), or anything. i was running around trying to put things in my bag, but it kept turning into the wrong bag, and my stage manager ws knocking on my door telling me they were holding the show for me, and all i was thinking about was that time i stage managed "quentin" and livvy almost slept thru the opening show.
so i run to rene's house, which also has mel and clare in it. i beg them to help me, and they start rifling thru ALLL the stuff around them trying to find things that can help. thye give me an apple that's an orange and lime inside, and a big hunting knife to cut it. then mel gives me the shirt off her back to wear. rene is trying to help calm me down, and offering to rehearse some of the scenes with me (the kissy/sex scenes) but i'm too busy trying to put my stage makeup on.
finally i run to where the performance is, but before i can get there, i have to cross this big ice rink. by then they tell me that the performance is going to be held for an hour so people can eat and i can relax. i decide to iceskate on this indoor pond with everyone else. then i see this guy all in black standing at the edge with a big sharp stick and he jams it into the ice and it all starts to crack. everyone gets off, but way at the other side - on the thin ice part - is this 14 yr old girl. i rush over to get her, but she's already fallen under the ice. i smash thru with all my strength and grab onto her. i use some seriously intense mind over matter to make my body temperature stay up so we don't get hypothermia while i'm swimming her to the door. at the door, i THINK mel is waiting to help me pull the girl out. just as we're getting out death pops up behind her and says "haha. tricked you" and pushes her head first really far out into the water. i can see she's dying and i beg him to please not kill her. he says "ok. but now you've made a deal with death. you know the penalty" and i look behind him and there's a score card kind of thing listing all the penalties - which are all I will die within the next 24 hours, i just get to choose how.
i tell him "i know" and he goes away, then i start looking around for some way to get out of it. i call schmitty, but he's not allowed to come to china, so he can't help me. i look for rene but he's over at the theatre. i'm thinking as hard as i can, and every time i think i've found a way out i haven't. i'm trying to find everyone, because if it's my last day on earth i want to give them a hug and say goodbye, but i still have to perform too.
finally, i just break down crying. crying so hard. i can't tell anyone about my imminent death, they wouldn't believe me (they don't remember the ice thing), and i know my minutes are winding down, and nothing seems to be going right, and i just cry and cry, huge heaping sobs.
and then i woke up, half wanting to keep sobbing in real life.
ideas on what THAT one means are more than welcome.
i was hoping i'd get to see jo on the road today, if only for a few hours, but she doesn't seem to be near email or her phone, or her cell number changed (which isn't likely, because i left her a message on her voicemail).
i'll hang out in ky for a bit longer, adn head to indiana around 1. jamie is next.
also, mel is the hostess with the mostess. she had a ton of food, and games, and love. she let me use her lotions, and sleep on her comfy comfy couch. she let me use her soaps, and drink a ton of her drinks, and use her phone and basically just act like i live here. i've been so comfortable the entire time, and i am beyond giddy that i've had such good down time with her. there are a bajillion different reasons this girl is my best, and i'm glad i've been reminded of nearly every one of them this week.
also, i've picked up the southern accent. ya'll would laugh to hear me right now.
it's kinda patchy, but the basic info is:
i was in china. or somewhere that wasn't home, but most of my friends from china (rene, inga, sarah, cigdem, abi) were there. also, a bunch of my friends from ny and oberlin had flown in, which i know because they didn't know their way around most things.
i was doing a play, and everyone was going to my performances on different nights and telling me how to make it better for the next nite. all my america friends were living with my china friends.
the last night of my dream, i was really tired in the afternoon, and decided to take a nap. my alarm didn't go off, or the clocks all stopped working, or something. anyway, i woke up late for the show. i couldn't find my props (a potato i peel and stab and cut with a little knife), or my clothes (i was supposed to be sexually ambiguous-y, so a big t-shirt, a sweatshirt, a baseball cap, and a sports bra t keep my boobs down), or anything. i was running around trying to put things in my bag, but it kept turning into the wrong bag, and my stage manager ws knocking on my door telling me they were holding the show for me, and all i was thinking about was that time i stage managed "quentin" and livvy almost slept thru the opening show.
so i run to rene's house, which also has mel and clare in it. i beg them to help me, and they start rifling thru ALLL the stuff around them trying to find things that can help. thye give me an apple that's an orange and lime inside, and a big hunting knife to cut it. then mel gives me the shirt off her back to wear. rene is trying to help calm me down, and offering to rehearse some of the scenes with me (the kissy/sex scenes) but i'm too busy trying to put my stage makeup on.
finally i run to where the performance is, but before i can get there, i have to cross this big ice rink. by then they tell me that the performance is going to be held for an hour so people can eat and i can relax. i decide to iceskate on this indoor pond with everyone else. then i see this guy all in black standing at the edge with a big sharp stick and he jams it into the ice and it all starts to crack. everyone gets off, but way at the other side - on the thin ice part - is this 14 yr old girl. i rush over to get her, but she's already fallen under the ice. i smash thru with all my strength and grab onto her. i use some seriously intense mind over matter to make my body temperature stay up so we don't get hypothermia while i'm swimming her to the door. at the door, i THINK mel is waiting to help me pull the girl out. just as we're getting out death pops up behind her and says "haha. tricked you" and pushes her head first really far out into the water. i can see she's dying and i beg him to please not kill her. he says "ok. but now you've made a deal with death. you know the penalty" and i look behind him and there's a score card kind of thing listing all the penalties - which are all I will die within the next 24 hours, i just get to choose how.
i tell him "i know" and he goes away, then i start looking around for some way to get out of it. i call schmitty, but he's not allowed to come to china, so he can't help me. i look for rene but he's over at the theatre. i'm thinking as hard as i can, and every time i think i've found a way out i haven't. i'm trying to find everyone, because if it's my last day on earth i want to give them a hug and say goodbye, but i still have to perform too.
finally, i just break down crying. crying so hard. i can't tell anyone about my imminent death, they wouldn't believe me (they don't remember the ice thing), and i know my minutes are winding down, and nothing seems to be going right, and i just cry and cry, huge heaping sobs.
and then i woke up, half wanting to keep sobbing in real life.
ideas on what THAT one means are more than welcome.
i was hoping i'd get to see jo on the road today, if only for a few hours, but she doesn't seem to be near email or her phone, or her cell number changed (which isn't likely, because i left her a message on her voicemail).
i'll hang out in ky for a bit longer, adn head to indiana around 1. jamie is next.
also, mel is the hostess with the mostess. she had a ton of food, and games, and love. she let me use her lotions, and sleep on her comfy comfy couch. she let me use her soaps, and drink a ton of her drinks, and use her phone and basically just act like i live here. i've been so comfortable the entire time, and i am beyond giddy that i've had such good down time with her. there are a bajillion different reasons this girl is my best, and i'm glad i've been reminded of nearly every one of them this week.
also, i've picked up the southern accent. ya'll would laugh to hear me right now.