the DWYS backstory continues
This is a short, silly thing that I wrote earlier for
marauderswolf, my lovely beta-reader. There's no real plot here, just boys being boys.
"I cannot starve thee out: I am thy prey
And thou shalt have me; but I dare defend
That I can stave thee off, and I dare say,
What with the life I lead, the force I spend,
I'll be but bones and jewels on that day,
And leave thee hungry even in the end."
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
"Black! You utter pillock, this is not on! When I catch you, I'm going to hex you bald! There will be boils! I know you can hear me, Black!"
The shout echoes down the stairs of the boys' tower and around the Gryffindor common room. Sirius sits bolt upright, scattering Every Flavor Beans every which way, and ducks behind Remus.
"You know," Remus tells him, not looking up from his book, "people would probably be less annoyed with you if you'd removed the Biting Charm from your sock drawer before animating it." Said sock drawer has been terrorizing the boys' tower for nearly a week, attacking passing ankles with an indiscriminate, chihuahua-like ferocity.
"It doesn't do any real damage," Sirius protests. He has given up hiding behind Remus, and is looking in the direction of the stairs, grinning. "Besides, don't you recognize that stentorian bellow of rage?" His grin widens. "It's got James."
Remus puts his book aside and listens for a moment. The sock drawer's latest victim is unquestionably James Potter. The swearing is unmistakable.
"I thought he'd been using Detemporis on it," he says.
"He was," Sirius confirms, his expression one of unholy glee. "So I made it invisible."
"Of course," Remus says. "Because the world needed an invisible, biting sock drawer." A fresh hail of curses from the top of the stairs serve to punctuate his statement.
"Oi, Potter," Sirius calls, "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"Sod off, Black!"
There is the sound of wood meeting - and splintering - other wood, followed by what sounds suspiciously like a yelp. James comes down the stairs half a second later, clutching his broom and trying to glare both at Sirius and back up the stairs at the sock drawer.
"I'm going to let it loose in the Great Hall," Sirius says dreamily, and the ire slips from James' face for a moment.
"Brilliant," he says. Then the anger returns. "Except that now you've gone and made it invisible, we'll never bloody catch it."
"We could lure it there," Sirius suggests. "Using you as bait."
"Bastard."
"Pillock."
"Git."
"Ponce."
"Are we done yet?" Remus asks.
"Of course," Sirius says airily. "We've a sock drawer to catch, after all."
"McGonagall will go spare if you let that thing loose in the Great Hall," Remus warns.
"It will be worth it," Sirius says. "Come on, Potter."
"Do it yourself," James suggests. "Or get Peter."
"He's in detention," Sirius says cheerfully. "Slughorn's orders - remember the melted cauldron from yesterday? This one's all us, James m'lad."
"Wanker," James says bitterly, and follows Sirius back up the stairs.
"Coming, Moony?" Sirius calls.
"No," Remus says decisively, and takes himself off to the Great Hall to get breakfast before Sirius and James catch and re-release the sock drawer.
***
Author's Notes: As always, feedback is hugged and loved and petted and.... yeah. Maybe I should stop watching Tiny Toon Adventures when I can't sleep.
marauderswolf, my lovely beta-reader. There's no real plot here, just boys being boys.
"I cannot starve thee out: I am thy prey
And thou shalt have me; but I dare defend
That I can stave thee off, and I dare say,
What with the life I lead, the force I spend,
I'll be but bones and jewels on that day,
And leave thee hungry even in the end."
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
"Black! You utter pillock, this is not on! When I catch you, I'm going to hex you bald! There will be boils! I know you can hear me, Black!"
The shout echoes down the stairs of the boys' tower and around the Gryffindor common room. Sirius sits bolt upright, scattering Every Flavor Beans every which way, and ducks behind Remus.
"You know," Remus tells him, not looking up from his book, "people would probably be less annoyed with you if you'd removed the Biting Charm from your sock drawer before animating it." Said sock drawer has been terrorizing the boys' tower for nearly a week, attacking passing ankles with an indiscriminate, chihuahua-like ferocity.
"It doesn't do any real damage," Sirius protests. He has given up hiding behind Remus, and is looking in the direction of the stairs, grinning. "Besides, don't you recognize that stentorian bellow of rage?" His grin widens. "It's got James."
Remus puts his book aside and listens for a moment. The sock drawer's latest victim is unquestionably James Potter. The swearing is unmistakable.
"I thought he'd been using Detemporis on it," he says.
"He was," Sirius confirms, his expression one of unholy glee. "So I made it invisible."
"Of course," Remus says. "Because the world needed an invisible, biting sock drawer." A fresh hail of curses from the top of the stairs serve to punctuate his statement.
"Oi, Potter," Sirius calls, "do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"Sod off, Black!"
There is the sound of wood meeting - and splintering - other wood, followed by what sounds suspiciously like a yelp. James comes down the stairs half a second later, clutching his broom and trying to glare both at Sirius and back up the stairs at the sock drawer.
"I'm going to let it loose in the Great Hall," Sirius says dreamily, and the ire slips from James' face for a moment.
"Brilliant," he says. Then the anger returns. "Except that now you've gone and made it invisible, we'll never bloody catch it."
"We could lure it there," Sirius suggests. "Using you as bait."
"Bastard."
"Pillock."
"Git."
"Ponce."
"Are we done yet?" Remus asks.
"Of course," Sirius says airily. "We've a sock drawer to catch, after all."
"McGonagall will go spare if you let that thing loose in the Great Hall," Remus warns.
"It will be worth it," Sirius says. "Come on, Potter."
"Do it yourself," James suggests. "Or get Peter."
"He's in detention," Sirius says cheerfully. "Slughorn's orders - remember the melted cauldron from yesterday? This one's all us, James m'lad."
"Wanker," James says bitterly, and follows Sirius back up the stairs.
"Coming, Moony?" Sirius calls.
"No," Remus says decisively, and takes himself off to the Great Hall to get breakfast before Sirius and James catch and re-release the sock drawer.
***
Author's Notes: As always, feedback is hugged and loved and petted and.... yeah. Maybe I should stop watching Tiny Toon Adventures when I can't sleep.