Here's to a tear
Shed one for the old. And shed two for what's next. Don't cry for sadness. Cry for change. I am changing. I am working and liking the experience. It is really bad that I like it, but I need it to get a little stronger. I am feeding off what I am doing, and I like where it is taking me. Jus know that things are different now that I am looking at not graduating for a while, and I cannot go too far into debt right now. The decision about Aven and my role is due on the 30th. I am shaking up inside. I have really no chance to move on unless I pan out at a job. I have to take this one or I am sunk. I am afraid of leaving too much behind me, and it is difficult to explain the embarassment and desparation that boils up in me.
But I have to live. I need to live. I believe it has come down to this. I either work and start making my way to financial independence, or I am deep in a world where I don't belong. My dad is saying he won't make it to September on his savings, and my mom is saying that her business is not pulling in the clients she needs (although a trip to Cancun is in the budget). Its her money I am not going to argue. I am a young man anyway...The point is I need to make a break for it. The depression is untreated, and I need to do this on my own. This is jumping with out a parachute I know...Oh dear God let me land on something soft. Dramatics aside I cannot make it through with out a full time well paying job. My education...ah fuck...my great education can only be confined to reading books on my own...for now.
I have faith in my ability to succeed. I really don't doubt it. What I am most worried about is having to leave too many good things behind to make progress in taking care of my situation. Those are the things that carried me through to here. Many of them I would honestly die for. I can't be descriptive, but I am sure anyone can name a few if they thought about it.
I am looking at the best pictures I have ever seen. I have waited a long time to see these, and now they are in front of me. I have some sort of love drunk look on my face, and my friend just looks beautiful. Thank You. :)
Word of the Day
autodidact N. One who is self learned.
In a sentence- I guess I will have to suffice myself on being some sort of autodidact until I can find some stability with my finances. I am in trouble...ha ha ha ha!
But I have to live. I need to live. I believe it has come down to this. I either work and start making my way to financial independence, or I am deep in a world where I don't belong. My dad is saying he won't make it to September on his savings, and my mom is saying that her business is not pulling in the clients she needs (although a trip to Cancun is in the budget). Its her money I am not going to argue. I am a young man anyway...The point is I need to make a break for it. The depression is untreated, and I need to do this on my own. This is jumping with out a parachute I know...Oh dear God let me land on something soft. Dramatics aside I cannot make it through with out a full time well paying job. My education...ah fuck...my great education can only be confined to reading books on my own...for now.
I have faith in my ability to succeed. I really don't doubt it. What I am most worried about is having to leave too many good things behind to make progress in taking care of my situation. Those are the things that carried me through to here. Many of them I would honestly die for. I can't be descriptive, but I am sure anyone can name a few if they thought about it.
I am looking at the best pictures I have ever seen. I have waited a long time to see these, and now they are in front of me. I have some sort of love drunk look on my face, and my friend just looks beautiful. Thank You. :)
Word of the Day
autodidact N. One who is self learned.
In a sentence- I guess I will have to suffice myself on being some sort of autodidact until I can find some stability with my finances. I am in trouble...ha ha ha ha!