(no subject)
For some reason there are rumors being started about me. Most of these rumors began AFTER I moved. Now I've moved back and guess what?... the people that were SOO excited to see me back and the ones who "miss me so much" don't even fucking talk to me. According to one particular prep ass "the people I hang out with are just weird" and "people think they're crazy" and "I have to face that I've just changed too much." Well hm... fuck it. I have to say that I am really ashamed of myself. I mean you go through school with these people that you just love. All your friends are your life. You spend all this time with them and you THINK you know em until things really go to the worst for you. When you're stuck in a place you don't wanna be and you're dealing with things that most people don't know about or comprehend and then your "friends" forget about you because PEOPLE don't accept the changes you've made to save yourself you get to feeling worthless. Was all of life before this year pointless? The popularity and the boyfriends were just pretend? Is everything gonna go down the toilet because you come back and OMG the color scheme you picked for the year is different? Black instead of pink? Cosmic instead of Abercrombie? Rock instead of fuck that whore, suck that dick rap? Shit... why would I even THINK that people would wanna talk to me after I made those DRASTIC changes completely affecting everyone's lives. Are you serious? I mean I haven't done anything. I'm loud as fuck, I can't keep my mouth shut when a teacher gets smart, I say what's on my mind, I laugh all the time, and I really don't care who you are and what you look like. Is that bad? Wasn't I like that before? I guess, like some people who lose their friends at the first sign of trouble, I was ignorant to think that I was liked because I was doing the right thing not because I looked the right way. I never considered myself a shallow or judgemental person but the people I used to associate myself with are TRASH. I'll be as optimistic as I can and say that I am very happy. I don't care that I'm not in the "group" and I'm not in the big gossip circle anymore. I love my new friends I just wish the old and the new could merge. I want them to realize the new people aren't inferior or weird. I guess it shouldn't matter but loss isn't fun. I guess the point of this is to say I am who I am... this isn't a phase or an illness... it isn't gonna go away and give the old me back... if you're talking about me fuck you... if I'm weird or different enough for you to not like me then I shouldn't be talked about either. I've learned a lot of shitty things about people I thought were great and I haven't said a word so please return the favor and be silent.